Wish me luck...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by dashcat, Feb 19, 2011.

  1. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Gft is coming to stay with me for 1.5 weeks. I posted about this on another thread: her dad is going out of town and won't let her stay at his place while he's away. I said she was welcome here if she was willing to honor my rules and also that she'd have to come willingly ... I could not and would not force her.

    She called yesterday and asked if she could stay and acually seems happy about it.

    I reiterated that she'd have to live by the rules here and she said that she knew and would.

    Last time this happened, it went well...but it was only four days.

    I know difficult children are famous for promises and she is one who is highly manipulative and a skilled liar.

    I will have to lock up my cash and certain valuables, but there is a part of me that is looking forward to it.

    She'd been hinting that her car needed work and I was quite blunt in saying that I wouldn't help her fix it ... she needs to get a job AND she had savings which is now gone Also, I'd paid for a speeding ticket she'd gotten after she promised to send me part of her paycheck (she was in college at the time and working part time). Of course this never happened. Last night, Ostrich called and asked if I'd split the expense with him. He used "the car might be dangerous" arguement with me....I gave him the same reply and added: if the car is dangerous and she doens't have the money to fix it, she shouldn't be driving it.

    She's in for a real shock coming from his house into mine....
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Good Luck.

    She seems to know and understand what to expect though, which is a good thing. I hope it turns into a good visit for you both.

  3. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Good luck and stand strong. You have set clear boundaries and expectations and that is what she needs. I think it is good to give our difficult children another chance.... but if she disobeys your rules and starts the manipulation and lies then it is ok to keep your boundaries and tell her to leave. There are good lessons for her in doing that. My hope is that she will totally rise to the occasion and that you all have a good week and a half.
  4. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I think we've all shared this "cautiously optimistic" feeling about our difficult child's at one time or another. I'm crossing my fingers, but my eyes are open. She gave me a valentine with a list of reasons why she loved me Some of them were pretty funny - "you put up with my adhd car radio activity" ... but one thing she wrote caused instant tears "you're true to yourself no matter what". Holy cow. This, from the kid who says I'm evil, a drunk and bipolar. I'll admit to the first one!
    Anyway, it was a tiny glimmer that she knows I won't back down. No doubt she'll challenge me, but maybe ....since she knows it's temporary and soon she'll be back in the Ostrich cave .... maybe she'll rise to the occasion.

    Hope springs eternal.
  5. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Enjoy your visit. Hope it goes well!!