Yo, all!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Abbey, Feb 14, 2011.

  1. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Abberster is back in the house. Beat, going to chill for a bit...glad to see you're all still around. Will post later.

    Teaser...I have the MOST AWESOME spork from my tales. :)

  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    OMG - seriously Abbey I was so thinking about you yesterday and wondering what ever became of you:)!!!!
    This is bad to say, and seriously OLD of me - but I totally could not remember your name because I was gonna pm someone as to your whereabouts. I just remembered YOU - which is better than a name, right? (I hope)
    Glad to see you back!!!!!!!!!!
    Give us the scoop.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Welcome back Abbey! So how did your "stint in the clink" go? I thought of you soooo often. I'm sure you have lots of tales to tell us. Come on, cough them up.

  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    I was just thinking about you yesterday!!! Vampire spork appeared... MISSED YOU!!!!!
  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member


    Welcome Back!


  6. Jena

    Jena New Member


    Wow i'm sooo sure you have sooo many stories LOL. soo glad your back, go get some rest than go get to typing. :)

    glad your safe. thought about you often.

  7. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member



    We missed you, lady!

    So good to have you around again!
  8. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I've missed you and hope all is well. :)
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    'bout time, girlfriend! (I'm sure you feel the same way about it!)
  10. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I had such a slamming thought of you in my head on Saturday! It was like a voice that screamed in my head "Abbey!!!!" I got so weirded out by it that I started asking around if anyone had heard from you! You sound great and I'm so happy that our "Freebird" is back!

    Welcome Home Abbey! You've been sorely missed!


    PS: Did you get my cake with the nail file?
  11. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Weird...thinking about you this morning...welcome back!
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So glad you are back and free again! You are free right? You didnt use Beths file to break out right? LOL.
  13. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    She's baaaaaa-aaaack!:i'mback:

    Is your time up already? Or are you out on good behavior? :winks:

    Glad to see you -- can't wait to hear of your adventures...
  14. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Glad to see you back, Abbey!
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome Home Abbey!!!

    Missed you so much! Can't wait to hear of your adventures.........and the new spork story!

  16. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Was just thinking of you yesterday. Welcome back! :)
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Back:)
  18. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    It's good to hear you have this over with and good to have you back! I'm looking forward to hearing about how it went and hope we can help you move on to bigger and better things now!
  19. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Thanks, all, for a nice welcome!!

    Yes, I am 'free.' Wow...what an adventure. It is certainly not one place I'll ever go back to again, and if by some odd chance I do, it will NOT be in Wisconsin. These boys don't play around here. Makes you wish you were in CA.

    I don't even know where to begin. Some day I'll write it all down, but for now just a few short things. You'd think I'd have TONS of time to write while in there, which I did, but it is not exactly the environment that is conducive to writing. Loud, lots of loud, rude people, light 24/7 and COLD. I spend the better part of the last 2 1/2 months laid up in my bunk trying to avoid the chaos that surrounded me and not get in trouble. It tested me until the minute I got out. (Not easy being one of two minorities in jail and the only other one is in there on a homicide stint.):imok:

    Spork story: Some of you know I collect sporks. Well, after I 'graduated' to a real jail cell, after holding for 13 days, I actually got an eating utensil...enter the spork. Trust me, your spork is your VERY good friend. It is checked out and in like it was the largest gemstone on Earth. One of my favorite deputies snuck it in my property signed with a sharpie upon my departure. What I didn't know is they search your property when you leave. Lo and behold lays my neon orange spork tucked in my sock. The guard was not too happy. I was shocked and honing in on the front door thinking I would bolt at this point not going down for a stolen spork. A few phone calls while I sweated bullets and I was good to go along with the KNIFE...yes, KNIFE my father in law brought on a visit. Now, THAT'S another story. So now I have my jail spork which I will have promptly tattooed somewhere on my body as soon as I get enough money.

    I found my voice in jail...with a whole new spicey vocabulary. It's not pretty, but functional. I need to reprogram now, like immediately.

    I now know how to survive, or be the ultimate McGyver, for everything except dental floss. This is a real irritant for those of us who floss daily. I begged the dentist to let me floss in front of him while I received $2200 worth of dental care for a bad tooth for $10 and a lecture on flossing daily. Nope...I might hurt someone with it. No mind the BELT you let me keep during the time, but the floss is a BIG no-no.

    I can effectively eat the same 3 meals a day, gain weight and enjoy mustard. Previous to this I would have hurled at the thought. My fat pants are no longer falling off my hips, rather they are not buttoning at the top anymore.:groan: When you have a diet that consists of 12 slices of bread each day, it's really quite easy. Those little mustard packets are GOLD and a salt packet would be worth 100X more. I saw a girl get 60 days tacked onto her sentence for smuggling in a handful of them, while a heroin addict came in doped up on a supposed doctor visit and only got 24 hours of bunk time. Go figure.

    Saved and lost nearly every young recruit to heroin. I've spent plenty of days in the partying atmosphere in Vegas and NEVER saw this kind of gluttony to a drug. Young girls who cycle in and out of the system on a regular basis because of the drug. My 'board days' kicked in and I tried to help these young ladies to no avail. Mamas...watch your young ones. Long gone are the days of weed. It's cheaper, more acceptable and provides a much greater high.

    Every muscle in my body is completely shut down and aching from so much doing nothing time. Trust me, you DO NOT exercise in front of a room full of people waiting to rob you of the $2 you have in your locker. haha...I actually did out run a behemoth of a girl trying to get my money the first day there. I was crudding bricks, but she didn't get me. More on her later. This was before my muscles went to sleep.

    Don't ever not show on a scheduled visit to a loved one. It's something worse than pain. These people can easily handle rejection - NO! I'm not visiting your lame **** ever in your life!! No problem. Say you're coming, then not show? My gosh...the toughest girl on the block is reduced to a puddle of heartbroken tears.

    I got the best self-introspection (is that a word???) advice. My best bud ended up being a 400lb. black girl who would tear you to shreds in the blink of an eye. People are terrified at her. I kind of stayed at bay for 6 weeks or so, not really being an in person or out. (That's a big whew!!!) One day, as she's getting dragged out in shackles and screaming, "Whose afraid of me???!!!" I limply raise my hand in jest and said, "I am." She looked me dead in the eye and said, (insert every expletive you could imagine) "Girl, YOU are the person to be afraid of. Give me any big-**** person in a dark alley and I'd take them on without a thought. You, I'd run scampering with my tail between my legs. Girl, you've got so much pent up crud in you that when you finally snap everyone in a 10 block radius will feel the effects. I'm gonna leave you alone." I sat there stunned...and did many weeks of thinking about that. She hit the nail on the head. We ended up being very good friends. Underneath the tough girl facade was a very warm, caring and insightful person but was brought up in a world that didn't give her a shred of chance. Upon her release we talked at length about her options, which are many as she had done a few prison stints. (Board time does give you some knowledge!!) I heard from her a few days ago and she has applied to college (on the government's money), accepted, and is starting her new life as a counselor. I couldn't think of a person who is more fitted. I wish her every piece of luck possible out there.

    Lots more tales...many funny, many realistic as you watch your kidos go down this path, and many sad. I think I'm going to go snuggle my kitties now. :)

  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Welcome back, Abbey!A spork, a knife, mustard and a spicy vocab. Wow!Give those kitties a hug for me.