You mean I don't have to argue to get this excused?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Oct 6, 2011.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    This morning shortly after 10:00 am, I get a call from the school. Actually, it was from difficult child but using a school line. He had lost his cell phone while outside in a wooded area on a class assignment and could I come help him find it? So, I left work to help him.

    I get to the area and THEN ask, "The school is really letting you take time away from school to look for this cell phone?" "No, they would have said 'no' so I just did this on my own." "I am sure you will get an unexcused absence for this." "I don't care, the phone is expensive."

    We spent about 15 minutes looking for it. Camoflauged put on vibrate so as not to disturb a class and lots of leaves on the ground to wade through. I was just in a conversation with husband to ask him what we should do since there is NO way we will find it!!! when difficult child did find it. Whewwww......

    On the way into school, we passed our vehicle. difficult child asked if I had paper to write a note. I told him I was not going to write a note but I was going to sign him back into school and talk to someone about what happened starting with the explanation that I was unaware that difficult child had not asked permission to go back out to look for the phone.

    What had happened was the teacher had sent the class out to identify trees but did not go out with them. They were instructed to return by a certain time. difficult child was using his cell phone as a clock. He pulled his phone out to look at it and as he was putting it away, another kid started chasing him with a stick (just in fun, not to be mean) so apparantly the phone did not get into the pocket and because he was being chased, difficult child didn't pay close attention to where he was going or where he had been. He called me from the nurse's office and I have not asked him what was said to get permission to use the phone.

    So, we go to the High School office to sign back in. I didn't know what to expect and was wondering if we should talk to the counselor to explain what had happened. difficult child was wrong to leave the building without checking out even though he had called me and in the spur of the moment, I assumed the school had known what he was doing because the call came from the school number. I told difficult child that even if this is unexcused, the reason should be documented just for the record.

    I explained it to the lady we check in with. When we got to the part of the stick, she tensed up - she was sure difficult child was harmed. I told her no, that was all in kid's play with no harm intended but needed to be told to explain why the phone was dropped.

    She answered, "OH, you need a pass to get back into class!" "Yes, but is this unexcused?" "No, it is o.k. Did your phone get damaged? I am glad the person with the stick didn't hurt you." "How long were you gone?" I think because I had come and difficult child signed back into the school in the proper channels that this will be o.k. this time. If he would have walked passed the office and straight into class, then it would have been unexcused for sure. I will wait to see if it does show up as unexcused but I won't fight it anyway - he was wrong in leaving the school without going through the proper channels.

    I was back to work before 11:00 - gone for 45 minutes. Good thing I had one hour of time to use up this week. I was going to leave work early today (at 11:30) but stayed until 12:30 to get my 3 hours in.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh wow poor kid. Hey, did anyone miss him? I would go nuts if someone didn't notice my kid was missing for that long. Not trying to start trouble, just wondering.

    I love how you handled it though. I can imagine if it was my child he would not be able to function until the problem was solved.

    by the way, I dont know what kind of phone it is but I have a security app on my phone so it can be gps tracked and even if it is off I can make it scream so I can find the phone. I just send the msg. from a computer on my account. I dont know what kinds of phones you can do this with because I am fairly new to it. I tried though and it actually works great.
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    the kids were outside without supervision. Can you say LAW SUIT. I would be having a cow over that. I would check into that.
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Being sent outside for an assignment in high school without the teacher being right there is more normal than not, I think. It was when I was in school, anyway.

    Glad he's okay and found it.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Even in high school, I'm surprised the teacher wasn't out there (at least with the way high school students can be around here).
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Even if the kids can go out side for an assignment, when they got one noticed he didn't come back???? That is a little worrying.
  7. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    He may have gotten a pass from the teacher to the nurse, the mom gets there and takes him outside, then mom signs him back in. From the schools point of view, he probably wasn't 'missing' just not in class.
  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    He did go back into he building and went straight to the nurse's office to call me. He did not go back to the teacher and did not get a pass from the teacher to go to the nurses office. He felt the teacher would deny his request so he just didn't return to class with the other kids. I don't think the nurse knew that he was going to then leave the building again. She may have thought he was on his way back to class. He then left the building and was in the wooded area searching for the phone when I arrived.

    I find that once kids leave the elementary world, they are not kept tracked of as well in the high school world. The teacher would have noticed he did not return to class and marked him as absent to be determined at a later date and by the office how to deal with it - the teacher does not get involved in disciplinary actions for attendance or lack there of. I always have my kids leave school between classes if I need to pick them up so the teachers will not know why a kid has not come to class - they just get marked as not being in the class. I don't want my kid to be watching the clock and walking out in the middle of an instruction so I make sure they leave between classes.

    Each teacher has over 100 kids come through their doors each day (25 kids per class X atleast 5 or 6 classes each day). Unless there is a specific request for the office to be notified of an abscense, they will not be spending their time notifying the office at the start of each class as to who is missing. I doubt that parents will be notified unless it becomes a problem (say 3 unexcused absenses or whatever they decide the indication would be).

    If I had not come to help with the phone or make sure he signed in letting the school know that I was aware of the absence, I don't know how/if I would have been notified of the unexcused absense. Would the school have taken action on it and asked him what caused it or would they wait until I saw it on the computer reports (not all parents keep up with that and I don't always pay attention to that detail) or hopefully a report card to try to figure it out which could be days or weeks later? difficult child may also have told me about it that evening after school. He is good about giving me heads up on certain things. It did show up today on the computer record as excused so I will not know. I suppose I could maybe find it in the school's disciplinary hand book?
  9. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    True, high school treats them as "pre-adults". Our hs has a computer system, so if I wanted I could check with my parent log-in 5 minutes after each class started to see if he was in class or not. Course I don't, but the options i there.

    I'm glad your difficult child was responsible enough to call you for help.
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    yeah, it is an interesting question. In this case since he did show up to class and she saw by attendance he was there but then disappeared in the middle of class by not returning, that is an interesting thing. If it was my kid it would be a disaster. But each kid handles alone time differently. I am a little paranoid when it comes to protecting difficult child's so I would have wondered what if it was that someone bullied him, beat him up, etc. For other kids that they maybe got sucked into going off to smoke pot or whatever. NOT saying your kid would, he obviously was very focused and just doing what he needed to do to solve the problem. We head off to high school next year so I just pay a lot of attention to this stuff so I can plan ahead. Thanks for indulging me.