younger sib help

[kab]

first time on forum. reading thru with interest. Last night was probably the worst night with my difficult child-it got really ugly. an the whole time I kept thinking, its not supposed to be like this, a nine year old should just go to bed when its time to go to bed, not because of some reward but because its time for bed. then of course it makes you think, what is wrong with me if I cant handle this.
the irony is that today I got a phone call from a friend who also happens to be a child psychiatrist who was just thinking of me and checking in-he was the one who suggested professional help months ago-best advice I ever took, but I am really starting to get tired of all the work it takes just to avoid screaming matches. I am convinced my 6 yr will be permanently scarred from the fights he has had to witness.. any advice out there on how to ease the blow for the younger sibs in the home?

 

[busywend]

Welcome kab! I do not have the younger sibling issue, so I really can not speak from experience. I do have a friend that has trouble getting her difficult child to bed - sounds like your scenarios are just as terrible as hers. It is quite disturbing to say the least.

HUGS!

 

[smallworld]

Welcome! I'm glad you found us.

Sorry for all the questions, but your answers will help us help you. Does your difficult child have a diagnosis? What kind of professional is he seeing? Is he on any medications?

One book that has helped many of us parent our extra-challenging children is The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It might help with cutting down the screaming matches.

Weekends tend to be slow around here, but I'm sure others will come around soon to offer their advice. Again, welcome.

 

[Marguerite]

Smallworld has recommended a darn good book.

One BIG way to avoid or cut down on screaming matches around the younger child is to make sure it's only difficult child doing the screaming. That book will help. I know I was a bit anxious when it kept getting recommended to me, because I was barely coping as it was, how on earth could I read a book and then sit down and implement new strategies, draw up charts, buy resources, organise and train everyone else ... it was all too hard and I knew we would revert to type. We do what is easiest.

Then I read the book and found IT is easiest.

Good luck.

Marg

 

[Liahona]

I don't have any answers just sympathy. We're stuggling with this as well. difficult child 2 starts screaming everytime difficult child 1 comes into the room.

 

[kab]

thanks for your encouraging words. I felt better just having the chance to vent!

 

[kab]

difficult child-9 with ODD, she (and we as parents) see a child psychiatric, no medications. I will look for the explosive child-I have found many parenting books to be very helpful. thanks for the encouraging words and the advice!