Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Jen, Jan 28, 2007.

  1. Jen

    Jen New Member

    I could get into all that has been going on, but that can be another time.
    difficult child and his wife are expecting a baby at the mid of next month. All was going well , he has a great paying job, took on a paper route on top of that, has his new rented house in order, and just basicallt been in Maniac mode with-o a diagnosis of it. When this happens usually then the S--- hits the fan and it has on my husband face an I. We have fiancially in a big way helped the 2 of them, and now he is setting good. But, he got it in his head that he needs a second car loan on a 4 door car. He cannot unload his other car because even though he has the moeny he would never pay on time, andmy husband co signed on that. This time we put our foot down and said, we cannot afford to help him. He wanted us to borrow from our Equity line . We havle already helped him from it and he owes use 24000.00 and my parents 1000.00 We did this knowing he was coming into cashing the rest of his college money. Well to our surprise he now has gotten the check, cashed and placed into his acct till it clears. He informed us he will not be paying us back or my parents. He has a message n his cell phone that says"Me and his wife have no parents anymore, that we are nothing by liars, with money that is owed back into our equity line , that wont come from them", and then he begins to laugh.

    I am so devastated, if anyone remembers my past posts this always happens , but this is the worse yet. I dont know what to do, or to tell my parents. We are now in the whole. Sad to say my son has more acess to money than we do, cause we have helped him, and my daughter alot lately, putting ourselves last.

    He has our cell, adn hoping to get it back. He is on our cell plan, adn my husband has cosigned for his car. That is only ties, any ideas , or ways to respond to this.?

    My son has 3 other children that it took us yr to fight to see them, and now he is doing it all over again with this new one. The difference, the first set of kids were taken away from him.

    Jen /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif
  2. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member


    It seems to be working, now!

    When I first tried to respond, the page would not come up.

    Sorry about that extra post, Jen!

  3. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    I'm sorry, but it seems to me that you're hands are tied. You may have to copy his line, and detach as if he didn't exist. I am in a similar mess with my oldest and it's not easy. I really hope things get better somehow.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm so sorry difficult child has pulled yet another of the same thing. I know it really hurts, emotionally and financially.

  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I don't know that there's anything you can do, except to accept this as the last straw.

  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm sorry, Jen. :frown:

  7. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Jen I am sorry you are going thru this. I don't know the whole history but in your post you say this always happens.
    Why not try something totally different and let difficult child and his wife suffer some without any help from you? It seems by the recording on "your" cellphone that this is a game to him without any regard to your feelings.
    I would consider canceling the cellphone, I would also consider getting the car back that you have cosigned for.
    I know that seems harsh and I understand there is a baby on the way, but if he already owes you 24,000 and has recieved his college check with no intentions of paying you back, does he deserve to use your cellphone and drive the car that you cosigned for?

    Let him dip into the college check (I don't know the amount) and get his own cellphone and buy his own car. No, he may not can afford as nice a car as what you cosigned for, but let him crawl before he walks and start out with what he can afford on his own.
  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    The first thing I would do because he's on your cell phone plan, is to call and disconnect his phone. You can put a hold on it by saying the phone was lost and they shouldn't charge you anything. this way it won't cost you to cancel the account, and if for any reason you choose to start it up again, you can call and say you found it and they will reactivate it. If he has no parents, then he won't be surprised that you aren't paying his phone bill!!!! Tell your parents the truth as much as it will hurt and then detatch and let him live his life as he chooses.
  9. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I would also cancel the whole cell phone acct if you can and start new without him.

    as for the car, all you could do is perhaps not pay on it and let it be repossesed??? or...could your husband sell the car??
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well I tell you what...if I had done that to my father, he would have canceled my phone, found a way to repo the car, and sued me for the money. I believe you can take the car back if he misses one payment and you can sell it because you are also responsible on the loan.

    He doesnt want parents? Hmmmm fine. Get along without them then. That kind of money doesnt fall off trees.
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Not sure how the car thing works but I would call the financial provider and see what options you have. I would also cancel the phone ASAP. As far as you parents tell them the truth and don't feel like you should pay them back your son's loan. They lent it it was their risk not yours. At least now all have seen what he is capable of. I am sorry that he used you again. Now you know for certain you cannot trust him. Go into damage control for your and husband's finances and don't ever put yourself in this position again. -RM
  12. judi

    judi Active Member

    I too have a son who doesn't have parents or any family at all. Oh well - its his loss.
  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Definitely don't not make payments on the car. That goes on your record, not his. Who's on the title?
  14. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    YOU can reposess the car, yourselves, if he is late on payemnts. I know, I have done it (long time ago, and long story).f you can afford to take over the payments. As co-signer, late payments WILL show up on your credit report. You are considered "co-owner" of the loan, AND the car.

    Cancel the phone, ASAP. Take the cancellation hit. Your difficult child could run up a huge bill.

    I'm so sorry. My own father pulled this stunt on me. It would be the last straw if it were my difficult child.