Susie, I "got" what you were saying - you weren't talking about religion, but using the example to describe hypocrisy over this issue from within your own family.
We all are coming from some very different point of view over this, but one factor we can't always control, is what our kids hear. We might control the home environment, we might control what is played in the car, but when our kids go to someone else's home, when they're at school, when you're walking through a shopping centre - we don't have control over what music is being played in the background.
Also, speaking form experience - as your kids get older, they become more proactive about what music they listen to, and how they will get their hands on it. Kids share music, especially when they get into their teens. I handled this by making sure I listendd to it all, and then we would discuss it. I knew better than to try and stop them from listening to it, because they had too much opportuity to make their own choices in this. So instead by listening to the music, by going online to find the lyrics (so I didn't make mistakes such as "banging on the door"!) and even by reading reviews or histories about the particular songs, I was able to give the kids an informed different point of view.
For example, difficult child 1 became really keen on the music of Rammstein. This German group was distressed to find their music associated with a nasty school shooting in the US, and to find that some people were blaming their music. Some other people were concerned when they foundwhat sort of music difficult child 1 was listening to. So I listened to the music, I got copies of the lyrics (with translations) and we talked. I explained what the words meant, I discussed the puns within the words (very clever, in a lot of their lyrics) but I also explained, when I'm driving the car I get to choose the music. And I can't listen to more than one or two of their songs, before I need to hear something light and happy. Rammstein's music IS very Gothic (my definition, here) andwhile I can appreciate the vocal talents of their lead singer, I also can appreciate Freddy Mercury, thank you, so a bit of Queen has to compensate.
Which is good, because my kids like Queen also. And it's really difficult to be offended/concerned with "I Want to Ride My Bicycle".
Marg