...and sometimes things work out nicely...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by dreamer, Apr 15, 2008.

  1. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    OK it helps that today was sunny and warm. difficult child had a little difficulty last nite, seems her boyfriend was "bothering her" LOL- go figure-----(I hope she is prepareing to break up with him, but he has been there 4 years, YUK) SHE wanted to be alone to play a videogame alone, and he kept calling her, she kept telling him- hey I got fired today and I just wanna be alone with my mom. Hmmm....different, but, I like it. LOL. Altho she did get WAY too loud, way too late....hollering at him on phone. BUT - she was right, I mean she was right in requesting tobe alone at home, and she was right to be mad at him for not giving her the time she felt she needed. And she did finally self calm. YAY.
    This morning I had phone work to do, arrange mine and sons stay at Ronald McDonald House for Sun-Tues for his eye appointment, figure out his 13th birthday for this weekend, stuff like that. SO while taking care of those things, I decided to email difficult children former child psychiatrist. (no longer her psychiatrist becuz she aged out, but difficult child adored her psychiatrist immensely) I emailed psychiatrist and thanked her for helping difficult child grow the skills she used yesterday in her sad loss of job. Former child psychiatrist was so excited difficult child used her skills to get thru yesterday, she called difficult child and told her so. :) and difficult child was so happy to get such a call. :)
    While at it, working behind the scenes in my childrens lives......
    my sons primary eye surgeon had told him approx 3 months ago he was updateing his office computer system and he offered a computer to my son! Well, doctor had said he would send it, but he didn't. When we went back a couple weeks ago, eye doctor told son again he was sending son a computer. He even made a shipping label. BUT it did not yet come. Poor son has been watching mail and delivery trucks daily.
    I did not say anything the first time doctor ofered up the computer, becuz doctor did say he had to check out legalities etc....BUT when we were there last, doctor had said it was a FOR SURE thing. So- this morning I emailed eye doctor and said look, sons birthday is this weekend, and it would be awesome if the computer got here in time.- if the computer is not to be, can you let me know so I can let son down gently? Eye doctor just called me and said OK....it WILL be there for his birthday, for sure.
    My son is going to be SO excited.

    Not to leave easy child out of things....SHE has been nominated for an award for HS graduation- for overcoming adversity- Personal Acheivement. Alas, LOL, poor silly kid is now self conscious and embarrassed about it and is dragging her feet to do the parts the HS has said she is to do to move towards this recognition. And her and I are going to visit her college to be soon to schedule her classes. - and choose her choices of which dorms she likes best?

    Gosh, life is just moving along and dragging us right along with it!
    (eye doctor made son promise certain things if he had a computer, LOL eye doctor wants son to really learn LOTS of computer things- turns out eye doctor had his ownbenefactor who gave him his first computer at age 13, as well, and as a sideline, eye doctor is also a huge computer geek, LOL- and has published a LOT in computer field)

    Gosh life seems to be a giant roller coaster, buckle up and hang on, thru the ups and the downs. Whew! Sometimes all at the same time!!!!
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Wow! What a week in your house. Ok so yeah, the lost job for difficult child kinda opposite of blow, but still. There were definate positives!!! Yay!!!

    So um....can I come stay for a bit just to see what that's like???
  3. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Oh man...so many many years where I never even saw a glimpse or hint of even the smallest bit of light at end of tunnel. some very very dark bleak hard times.
    Years of such a tight hectic schedule, and nothing positive happeneing at the time.....the future seemed so dreary.

    I think with time, things were just simply SO hard....I may have changed. difficult child is 19 and still no hint she will ever be real independant.....in some ways, more dependant now than a few years ago. And I have no idea yet what to expect with a teen boy.....and we will not even THINK about husband at all. LOL.

    Always SO busy....especially since switching everyones medical care to places SO far away.....a simple appointment means 1,2 or even 3 days gone from home, which means arrangements to be made for everyone who is not part of the appointment at hand....and piles of work before and after trip-----with NO family support, no friends (Gosh been so busy over the years tending to things, "friends" fell by wayside for most part)
    BUT I try hard to look at things in a more positive way.....at one time difficult child was involved with drugs and other difficult children.....disappearing for days at a time, who knew if she was even alive? I so much prefer the now, where she has to go with me if she is leaving the house (her choice) even if it means she goes to restroom with me.....I much prefer going to docs out of town becuz we found much better care at the out of town docs than we ever found here......homeschooling has taken so much less of my time, very strange but.....thats how it has worked out, and the kids have been learning far more and much better with so much less stress than previously.

    I still have no idea how it will all work out for the future.....but I will take the little good things that do occur and run with them. So it began this morning with me thanking psychiatrist for the skills she gave difficult child and resulted in some positive strokes and moral support for difficult child and continued with me offering to let son down gently (for the eye doctor) if thats how it was going to turn out, and that doctor getting his ball rolling faster.....

    Now before you get TOO excited, LOL----I doubt you would enjoy life here at our house even for 1 week. LOL. husband still argues with imaginary whatevers----maybe enemy from Nam, maybe his long deceased parents- who knows who it is he argues with? we kind of just let him be unless he starts throwing things. And difficult child and son are not on anything resembling a typical schedule...we tend to do a lot of our schooling like 8 PM to 1 am. (unless we are doing a "field trip") There is not a minute in a day when someone here is not awake.....and except for difficult children recent job, difficult child, husband and son only leave the house with me with them. difficult child becuz she does not tolerate not being with me, son becuz his age really does not give him much opportunity, and husband becuz he is simply too ill to go out and about. easy child is the only one who does live a typical type of life. off to school daily, off to work after school and weekends and off to college univ in fall.

    Years and long years of daily therapies, groups, day treatment, psychiatrists, tdocs, neuros, in home behav docs, Special Education......gosh ever since 1990. Not just for difficult child but easy child was part of much of it just becuz of association, and much was for husband...quite intense for husband..several psychiatric hospital stays etc.....some were for me.....it sure was very weird to be IN day treatment AND also WORKING as a professional in the same field and community.....while also haveing such intense services in our home.
    And then in between, with my husband medical health issues, and then mine, and also sons.....difficult child kids haveing to brush MY teeth, feed me, etc.....
    it has been quite a ride! LOL.

    SO I really grab hold of the good things, grab them fast and hard, LOL. Treasure them. and in between, I try hard to find more good things. It really is amazing the times when husband is lost in some bizarre event inside his own head and I can get him to look out the window to see some new bird, and he CAN break loose long enough to see it......yes, I take THAT moment and celebrate it.....and just try to use that to help us live thru his next 22 hours of weirdness. I grabbed the positive for difficult child that she did so well at that job.....and make sure she does see the positive parts......remind her bad things can happen to good people.....take son by his hand and while we must trke off so far away, interrupting whatever he might rather be doing and intermingle it with someething exotic and interesting and fun for him......if we MUST be out of tonw for eye doctor, well, darn, we might as well stop and gawk at the building of the state prison.....fascinating builidng. LOL. No, no, LOL, not telling him hey mind your P s & Qs so you donot end up there but---discussing notorius people who have been there or might be there, now...... discussing various parts of the building and what they are for......
    cuz gosh we were in the neighborhood, and my 13 yr old boy is haveing a mild fascination with the likes of AL Capone etc.......meanwhile we take that drudge trip for a dreary cause and turn it into mom/son time- of the type he enjoys.....and use it to bond....hopeing my influence will someday maybe over ride any peer influence that might be far more different than mine? (does that make sense?)

    So, maybe I am fabricating or exagerating some of the "good" things? Ahhhhh I try hard. LOL. a little "spin" to turn a not so good thing into a good thing? and a little behind the scenes mom manipulation to make things a tad rosier?
  4. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Glad things were good this morning, hope the whole day was a good one. When we experience so much hard stuff with our kids, the good stuff just stands out so much, and it's good to hold on to even the smallest good because you never know when the next good thing will come.