SM...so glad there was no drama yesterday surrounding the house. That is great.
Often, we anticipate the very worst, gird ourselves to be ready for it, make all kinds of plans, and then....nothing bad happens.
So we breathe, and let the air out, and relax, and then: zing, pow, zowee! Something comes out of left field, and hits us hard, something we never ever considered.
So...what to do? That is the way of difficult children.
The same thing happened to me yesterday. I thought yesterday was the "big day" when difficult child got his check, and was ready to move heaven and earth to get girlfriend out of jail. I anticipated being asked to drive him all kinds of places after I picked him up from work yesterday. I was ready with my No.
And then...no drama. Nothing. The day was uneventful, despite the fact that i saw him twice---took him to work and picked him up from work.
That was great. I worked to relish that. But underneath, I'm a little uneasy. Now what?
Moral to story: There is no way to be prepared for the insanity that comes with unrecovered and unmedicated difficult children. We get ready for nothing, and we aren't ready for everything.
All we can do is continue to let go, work on ourselves, and practice mental, emotional and physical detachment as much as possible.
Learn how to live in the now. Live in this particular moment, and pinch ourselves and know that right now, this minute, we are okay.
This minute is all we really have anyway. All we have ever had.
So today, breathe, relax, take your time, take a walk, take a nap. If his number or an unknown number pops up, let it go to vm. If the caller doesn't leave a message, they didn't need much, now did they?
Today is about you. Today is about me. Let's live our own lives, and let other people live theirs. This is a lesson I am constantly working to learn. When I can "get it" for even a short time, it feels wonderful.