SuZir
Well-Known Member
I don't know if this is an aspie trait/different wiring issue, a difficult child issue or just difficult child issue, but I really don't understand how impossible the concept of rank seems to be for my whelp. I understand one may not agree that whole rank business is right or useful, that can be something to be debated. But how on earth does someone so intelligent as my son really not grasp that it is a fact of life? And that not respecting rank comes with consequences every frigging time?
I can't remember I would had ever had difficulties understanding rank and what it means, neither does my husband. And easy child has understood it very well from very early age. But my twenty year-old adult kid, who most likely is a person with the highest IQ in the room most of the time and who has fifteen years of not only normal socialization to the concept of rank but intensive sport training, there coach's word is a law, still don't get that if someone outranks him, they do, despite his feelings about the matter and if he doesn't respect it, he will pay the price. Or maybe he does get that there is price to pay for not respecting rank, but at least he still finds it worthwhile to whine about it instead trying to even pay a lip-service to rank.
I mean, I do know I have had some teachers and bosses I have considered totally useless. And I can't say I would had always followed their directions just because they have outranked me. I have paid lip-service to them and done what I wanted behind their backs. I have to admit I have even back stabbed and trash talked few behind their back. And certainly questioned in front if I have thought that useful. And I certainly haven't liked it, if I have had a moron teacher or boss. But that is life. And I really don't get why that is so very difficult for difficult child to get.
He thinks his new positional coach is incompetent and useless. I do not know if he is, or if difficult child just doesn't like him. But yes, his credentials are not impressive and he is very inexperienced and I have to admit difficult child certainly is more apt to judge what someone knows about his profession than I am. In fact he may be more apt to judge than people who hired this guy, it is very specialised skill set that even most in his sport don't really get. But still fact of life stays. His coach outranks him and he is only making his life difficult and causing more bumps to his career by not even paying a lip-service to the rank. Throwing tantrums because you don't trust your coach only works against you. Even though his actions on the field are currently gaining him lots of leeway. But when he hits a rougher patch he can be sure it will come back to bite him. And that is something he doesn't seem to understand or care.
Of course I don't know how he has behaved, but what he tells me and how he talks to me, I would guess something between holy terror and total jerk. Okay, it is his butt this will bite and I could put down the phone and not have to listen his whining and ranting, but heavens that he can be frustrating to deal with.
There may indeed be an error in the world, but how about just dealing with it even a one time?
I can't remember I would had ever had difficulties understanding rank and what it means, neither does my husband. And easy child has understood it very well from very early age. But my twenty year-old adult kid, who most likely is a person with the highest IQ in the room most of the time and who has fifteen years of not only normal socialization to the concept of rank but intensive sport training, there coach's word is a law, still don't get that if someone outranks him, they do, despite his feelings about the matter and if he doesn't respect it, he will pay the price. Or maybe he does get that there is price to pay for not respecting rank, but at least he still finds it worthwhile to whine about it instead trying to even pay a lip-service to rank.
I mean, I do know I have had some teachers and bosses I have considered totally useless. And I can't say I would had always followed their directions just because they have outranked me. I have paid lip-service to them and done what I wanted behind their backs. I have to admit I have even back stabbed and trash talked few behind their back. And certainly questioned in front if I have thought that useful. And I certainly haven't liked it, if I have had a moron teacher or boss. But that is life. And I really don't get why that is so very difficult for difficult child to get.
He thinks his new positional coach is incompetent and useless. I do not know if he is, or if difficult child just doesn't like him. But yes, his credentials are not impressive and he is very inexperienced and I have to admit difficult child certainly is more apt to judge what someone knows about his profession than I am. In fact he may be more apt to judge than people who hired this guy, it is very specialised skill set that even most in his sport don't really get. But still fact of life stays. His coach outranks him and he is only making his life difficult and causing more bumps to his career by not even paying a lip-service to the rank. Throwing tantrums because you don't trust your coach only works against you. Even though his actions on the field are currently gaining him lots of leeway. But when he hits a rougher patch he can be sure it will come back to bite him. And that is something he doesn't seem to understand or care.
Of course I don't know how he has behaved, but what he tells me and how he talks to me, I would guess something between holy terror and total jerk. Okay, it is his butt this will bite and I could put down the phone and not have to listen his whining and ranting, but heavens that he can be frustrating to deal with.
There may indeed be an error in the world, but how about just dealing with it even a one time?
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