Raining
New Member
Last 2 weeks difficult child has been actually doing well. (Which is partly why I haven't been on here that much, sorry.) Had an appointment with therapist yesterday and it was a good session. It was about us praising her on her good work and about helping her get through her anxiety with starting middle school.
Then last night I made pizza for dinner and since all of the plates were in the washer, I used paper plates and caught her eating it after she finished her pizza. She tried to hide it from me but I saw the half doller size peice missing, and her chewing it.I told her to spit it out but it was too late. When I asked why she did that, she said it was because it tasted good and she was still hungry. So I chewed her out for eating paper when there was a whole kitchen full of food.
Then today she was kind of moody and I couldn't keep her focused or on track on anything. husband told her to clean her bathroom which she didn't want to do. Total attitude. husband and I argued with her for a few minutes and then she stomped away. Then a few minutes later, she comes out to tell me that she tried to commit suicide and showed me her neck. She said she took a string like a shoe string and wrapped it around her neck and pulled. I hardly saw a mark except for the side of the neck it was a little red so it's possible she did. So I asked her if she was for real or was doing it for attention. She said it's for real. So the hospital that denied her a couple of months ago of admiting her said she will most likely be admited now and to come on in. So we head over there. husband starts asking her questions to see if we can get to the bottom of it all. Basically, she said her life is good and she is happy, but she has screwed up so much in the past there is no way to fix it so it's better she is gone. I called her bio father, my DEX, and he is yelling at her and calling her stupid and weak for trying to get out of living instead of trying hard at life. I told him that saying that is an issue with me.
So we get to the hospital and update everything from the last time we were there and they admitted her. Now, the whole time we are going through everything, she is all giggly and laughing occasionally and seemed to be in a very good mood but as soon as you ask her something serious and/or about how bad her life is, she gets all sad looking, then its back to lalalala attitude. Then she said she heard some of the kids playing basketball and listening to music (recreational therapy was going on nearby) and she was excited to do that. We told her that it isn't a vacation and she is to be there to learn and it's up to her to how long she will be there. She seemed fine and dandy she will be there for awhile until she learned that she couldn't have her stuffed animal or her Harry Potter book. We even had to cut the drawstrings on her pj bottoms, she wasn't happy about that. We initialed all her clothes which kind of freaked her out. Then it was goodbye time and she hugs me and she wasn't bothered until I started crying then she starts crying then she hugs and cries on husband and leaves. Then 10 minutes later the nurse comes in to have us sign some papers about her medications and told us that difficult child was happy and fine "And not crying at all" -like that was supposed to make me feel better. It didn't. All it did was prove my gut feeling that this whole thing was about attention more than it was about her actually wanting to die, and/or wanting help and getting better.
There was at one point where I asked her a couple of times if she still felt like killing herself and she said yes, but would then talk about something else like those words never came out of her mouth at all.
She will be there from anywhere to 7 to 14 days. Depends on her. School starts on the 20th so there is a chance that she may miss the first few days of school. Which I feel is worse for her because she will be behind the other kids on knowing where to go and the ins and outs of the classes and teachers. She won't be behind on school work because it will be faxed to her but still....
I know this post kind of jumbled, misspelled, and not very articulate, but my mind is not on full function and I apologize. I know there are things I have forgotten to put in here and points I was starting to go to but rambled onto something else instead. I'm sorry for that too. Like said, my mind....
On top of all of this, I have a feeling DEX will use this against me somehow. Or will at least try to. I know he doesn't have a case agaisnt me on this or anything else, but having to fight with him is just a pain in the behind. I don't feel like dealing with that crap.
Not really posting for advice or anything. Just wanted to come on here and let everyone know what was going on I guess....
Then last night I made pizza for dinner and since all of the plates were in the washer, I used paper plates and caught her eating it after she finished her pizza. She tried to hide it from me but I saw the half doller size peice missing, and her chewing it.I told her to spit it out but it was too late. When I asked why she did that, she said it was because it tasted good and she was still hungry. So I chewed her out for eating paper when there was a whole kitchen full of food.
Then today she was kind of moody and I couldn't keep her focused or on track on anything. husband told her to clean her bathroom which she didn't want to do. Total attitude. husband and I argued with her for a few minutes and then she stomped away. Then a few minutes later, she comes out to tell me that she tried to commit suicide and showed me her neck. She said she took a string like a shoe string and wrapped it around her neck and pulled. I hardly saw a mark except for the side of the neck it was a little red so it's possible she did. So I asked her if she was for real or was doing it for attention. She said it's for real. So the hospital that denied her a couple of months ago of admiting her said she will most likely be admited now and to come on in. So we head over there. husband starts asking her questions to see if we can get to the bottom of it all. Basically, she said her life is good and she is happy, but she has screwed up so much in the past there is no way to fix it so it's better she is gone. I called her bio father, my DEX, and he is yelling at her and calling her stupid and weak for trying to get out of living instead of trying hard at life. I told him that saying that is an issue with me.
So we get to the hospital and update everything from the last time we were there and they admitted her. Now, the whole time we are going through everything, she is all giggly and laughing occasionally and seemed to be in a very good mood but as soon as you ask her something serious and/or about how bad her life is, she gets all sad looking, then its back to lalalala attitude. Then she said she heard some of the kids playing basketball and listening to music (recreational therapy was going on nearby) and she was excited to do that. We told her that it isn't a vacation and she is to be there to learn and it's up to her to how long she will be there. She seemed fine and dandy she will be there for awhile until she learned that she couldn't have her stuffed animal or her Harry Potter book. We even had to cut the drawstrings on her pj bottoms, she wasn't happy about that. We initialed all her clothes which kind of freaked her out. Then it was goodbye time and she hugs me and she wasn't bothered until I started crying then she starts crying then she hugs and cries on husband and leaves. Then 10 minutes later the nurse comes in to have us sign some papers about her medications and told us that difficult child was happy and fine "And not crying at all" -like that was supposed to make me feel better. It didn't. All it did was prove my gut feeling that this whole thing was about attention more than it was about her actually wanting to die, and/or wanting help and getting better.
There was at one point where I asked her a couple of times if she still felt like killing herself and she said yes, but would then talk about something else like those words never came out of her mouth at all.
She will be there from anywhere to 7 to 14 days. Depends on her. School starts on the 20th so there is a chance that she may miss the first few days of school. Which I feel is worse for her because she will be behind the other kids on knowing where to go and the ins and outs of the classes and teachers. She won't be behind on school work because it will be faxed to her but still....
I know this post kind of jumbled, misspelled, and not very articulate, but my mind is not on full function and I apologize. I know there are things I have forgotten to put in here and points I was starting to go to but rambled onto something else instead. I'm sorry for that too. Like said, my mind....
On top of all of this, I have a feeling DEX will use this against me somehow. Or will at least try to. I know he doesn't have a case agaisnt me on this or anything else, but having to fight with him is just a pain in the behind. I don't feel like dealing with that crap.
Not really posting for advice or anything. Just wanted to come on here and let everyone know what was going on I guess....