I'm brand new. My 19 year old difficult child daughter had a very rough time making it through high school bc of severe dyslexia,ADHD, anxiety, bipolar,and missing a lot of school. Graduation night was a very happy night and bright with promise. difficult child was happy and purchased a very nice computer with grad money so that she could use it at community college toward her studies of graphic art (she is very talented in art). The next day - she moved out to our shock and horror. She is staying with the loser boyfriend that she has been dating for a year and a half who has very little family, is antisocial (won't come to our house no matter how often invited), lives with a family friend lady in an old place in the middle of nowhere, once cursed out my husband for no reason, has been graduated for a year and has done NOTHING. Not a day of work, not a day of school. No car and no plans to get a job and buy one. And now she has decided to join him in his lazy lifestyle! This goes against everything we have tried to instill - work ethic, get out of h.s. and go to college to meet new people, learn skills, and become part of the working adult world. She immediately applied for disability - although she is able-bodied and can certainly work. I told her that even if she gets this (which i hope she does not), it will no way pay for all she needs. She's just trying to get by the easy way. We quit buying her gas and giving spending money when she decided to leave. We thought that might encourage her to get a job. Nope! This loser has rubbed off on her to the point that tonight, I called to remind her of the community college tour tomorrow accompanied by her beloved older sibling, at difficult child's request (which she requested to go on) and she refused. So now she's throwing her plans and dreams away. She sounded really down so I think she is having a mood swing. This upset me so much. All we've done to get her to this point seems a waste. I told her she's throwing her future away. She won't listen. We want her to live here at home where we could help her launch in a positive fashion - either to a dorm, or to an apartment near campus with a part time job to pay for it, etc. Not to go mooch off this needy lady who barely has anything and be influenced by the loser. We also pay for her bipolar medications (for our safety), the cell phone (in case she sees the light and needs us - loser has no phone), and insurance. That's it. If she'd come back home, we'd pay for far more. She's used to a very nice lifestyle - although I think she'd live in a ditch with this loser. We hope that eventually having no money or gas or anything much will dawn on her. The lady they stay with is on our side and knows that this loser will pull her down. If the two fight, this lady will call and tell me so I can contact difficult child in a weak moment. But they keep making up. Although it is peaceful without her here, I am sad because of the way she went about declaring herself "free" - going to mooch off someone and throwing her dreams aside. We cannot do much in the way of taking away her car, etc. because she has a very violent temper - we have replaced 2 doors she's kicked through, and a huge plate glass window she shattered by throwing the phone. She has thrown horrible tantrums when manic and once bit my arm as we fought over control of my car. She now has very little to do with us, although we were close before. We have tried to be the best parents possible, and for this? I pray every day that this loser will move bc that's the only way to get rid of him. difficult child feels so sorry for him that she has gotten bogged down in his very small world. difficult child also has an older sibling who cannot stand the loser. Older sibling hates seeing little sister go down the drain like this. We really try to not say much at all about the loser bc she is stubborn and it would make her stick with him more. but it is kiling me to see her throw away her dreams bc of this guy who's going nowhere fast. Question: any ideas of how to get those 2 to get mad at each other? Ideas to get her interested in going to community college again? Suggestions welcomed. Thanks.