Thanks ladies. Star...you're so funny. Jennifer, he actually left the kitchen spotless - do you think he felt the 'vibes' from the board ladies?? It was a pleasant surprise to wake up to a clean dark kitchen (he usually leaves the lights on too, hee hee).
I am not loud and obnoxious or rude or any of those things. I'm just trying to find ways of improving myself a little. When I'm with friends (board included) I don't feel inhibited much or as if I need to hold back - lord knows most of us don't around here and my 'live' friends who know me don't find me overbearing at all.
It's just that sometimes I wonder if a little bit of that perimenopausal "TOWANDA" stuff isn't kicking in, you know? My sisters can really let the you-know-what fly at times and although I understand them and they crack me up, when I'm around others I'm not familiar with I don't want to come across as too brassy. I don't think I'm explaining it right.
For instance, this morning the accountant [who my boss gave my job to] was here and we were chit-chatting it up about Halloween. I am a BIG Halloween person...BIG. She told me she turns out her lights and hides on Halloween. I said, without really thinking, "Oh wow, that's terrible - IT'S HALLOWEEN!!! How can you disappoint those cute little Goblins??" to which she replied with a polite smile, "Well, we don't really get too many kids and I'm just sick of it." I guess my look was one of shock and she tried to explain further. I cut her off and said, "Please don't tell me you're one of those people who think Halloween is evil?!" Then she really laughed and said that no, she was just lazy. Okay, not so bad. But what if she WAS one of those people who choose not to celebrate Halloween because of her religion? I don't mean to offend. In fact one of my best friends hates Halloween - she thinks it's evil (eye roll). I dress up and give out candy to kids on Halloween, sitting beside our outdoor firepit. We have a trail of tiny carved pumpkins to the side of the house where we are hanging out. My friend thinks we're weird. We're just having some fun.
Another for instance: I work with this woman who is beyond uptight about everything, very dramatic about everything - when something happens in her family, everyone is involved and she's a basket case. If her H has a DR appointment, she goes with him. If she has a DR appointment, he goes with her. Even if it's just a hangnail or something. I can see big appts or physicals, etc., but I am talking about the little things. So, when I was going for my physical she asked if H was going with me and asked her, "Why? What, am I seven?" and before I could stop myself and the words were floating in the air...she looked like she might cry and said quietly, "Well, you know, with my H and me, we're older and so we think it's important to go with one another to the DR." I felt like a big weenie. I just said, "Yeah, that's true".
One more: My exh's famiy is going through a family crisis with one sister who recently had major surgery without seeking a 2nd opinion and her siblings are all up in arms, but no one will talk about it, because God forbid you talk about anything other than the weather and hunting in their family. So, one ex-sister in law (she's married to exh's brother - we're both outlaws) called me and said, " I just KNEW you'd understand" and proceeded to vent to me. In the end, my brain was so frazzled that I just blurted out, "Look you know what, I love A.N. and I'm sorry for what she went through, but it was her own stupidity to have a major surgery without any further input. I can't hear about this anymore. They are all just so dysfunctional and if you're that frustrated maybe you should get out while you still can too". My ex-sister in law laughed and said, "I know". H said what I said was mean. I have a lot going on in my own life; I don't need to be thinking about my exh's family BS as well, you know?
So, I am going to get out some Emily Post books and start reading through them - excellent idea. Maybe I can learn how to just listen and not comment.