HeadlightsMom
Well-Known Member
Well, let me just start off by saying I'm pissed at difficult child. I have heard nothing more (I know he sees our messages because FB stamps the time he sees them) and he refuses to answer. We all know (and he knows we know) that this means he's back into meth and crime.
I have been detached, but I'm not feeling detached right now. No Radical Acceptance at the moment. I'm mad. I'm tired of every damned Christmas since the day we brought him home with us in 1996 being a disaster with his behavior. I love him, but...........I do NOT like being treated like a doormat and I choose to stop it right this minute. And I just wrote him and told him so. No worries. He won't reply, so there will be no fight. I guess that's the upside of difficult child's in hiding..........they keep hiding.
Sick of them thinking the whole world should stop and pity them every time they enter the room.
Wellllllllllllllll............ that felt good to spout out! Not a lot of places I can do that, ya know. Some people "get it", but most don't. Well, I just don't give a rat's rip at the moment.
We've been having a wonderful time with many events with friends and family (and that will continue) through the holidays and on into January (when we go to California for a family gathering celebrating a wedding, a birthday, and an anniversary (our 25th).
Shoot. I made the mistake of reaching out. Such a damned yo-yo with difficult child's. I'm sorry they have problems, really...... I am. But I didn't cause those problems and I can't fix them, either. Fact.
Thank you all for the little ranty. I meant to pop on here on Monday when I had some free time and I just didn't. But I'm feeling it now and do, very much, appreciate being able to vent it here.......with so many others who understand.
I know the holidays are difficult for our difficult child's. But, by extension, they make them difficult for us, too.
Sadly, the only answer is to just not spend much (or any, on occasion) time around them. We try.... over and over and over..... He ditched us at Thanksgiving, he'll ditch us again at Christmas. We had a nice Thanksgiving, ergo we can have a nice Christmas.
I believe in love, peace and forgiveness. I believe in the examples set by Jesus, Siddhartha, Gandhi, MLK, the Transcendentalists, etc. I try. But sometimes I'm just so human. So very human.
Think I'll go workout and get some of it out of me. Then snuggle up with husband and Mr. B (our black lab lap dog). I need a dose of nice.
PS -- I think I'll wait until my head is a little clearer before catching up on your lives. Thank you all, again, for just listening.
Very HUMAN being signing off now.....
I have been detached, but I'm not feeling detached right now. No Radical Acceptance at the moment. I'm mad. I'm tired of every damned Christmas since the day we brought him home with us in 1996 being a disaster with his behavior. I love him, but...........I do NOT like being treated like a doormat and I choose to stop it right this minute. And I just wrote him and told him so. No worries. He won't reply, so there will be no fight. I guess that's the upside of difficult child's in hiding..........they keep hiding.
Sick of them thinking the whole world should stop and pity them every time they enter the room.
Wellllllllllllllll............ that felt good to spout out! Not a lot of places I can do that, ya know. Some people "get it", but most don't. Well, I just don't give a rat's rip at the moment.
We've been having a wonderful time with many events with friends and family (and that will continue) through the holidays and on into January (when we go to California for a family gathering celebrating a wedding, a birthday, and an anniversary (our 25th).
Shoot. I made the mistake of reaching out. Such a damned yo-yo with difficult child's. I'm sorry they have problems, really...... I am. But I didn't cause those problems and I can't fix them, either. Fact.
Thank you all for the little ranty. I meant to pop on here on Monday when I had some free time and I just didn't. But I'm feeling it now and do, very much, appreciate being able to vent it here.......with so many others who understand.
I know the holidays are difficult for our difficult child's. But, by extension, they make them difficult for us, too.
Sadly, the only answer is to just not spend much (or any, on occasion) time around them. We try.... over and over and over..... He ditched us at Thanksgiving, he'll ditch us again at Christmas. We had a nice Thanksgiving, ergo we can have a nice Christmas.
I believe in love, peace and forgiveness. I believe in the examples set by Jesus, Siddhartha, Gandhi, MLK, the Transcendentalists, etc. I try. But sometimes I'm just so human. So very human.
Think I'll go workout and get some of it out of me. Then snuggle up with husband and Mr. B (our black lab lap dog). I need a dose of nice.
PS -- I think I'll wait until my head is a little clearer before catching up on your lives. Thank you all, again, for just listening.
Very HUMAN being signing off now.....