BusynMember
Well-Known Member
For at least a year I have asked him to please not tell my ex-sister and ex-brother anything that I do. I don't want him to mention me. Both are malicious, especially my sister. I stressed to my dad that my surgery, which was an elective mastectomy, needed to be kept from them in particular. I did not tell almost anyone about it. You guys I told because you don't really know me and I trust you anyways. But in my real life just my family knew. I know my sister thinks I worry about my health too much and I think a mastectomy is very personal and you don't let everyone in on it. I told him it would embarass me if she or my brother knew, especially if they knew it was not because I was sick.
My sister hasn't texted me for about six months by now.
Today I heard my phone get a text so I looked.
Sure enough it was my sister: "Dad told me you're feeling well after surgery. Good to hear!!! Stay on the mend."
I almost burst into tears. For one thing, I have no reason to believe she cares one wit about me. Secondly, I think she did it to taunt me that he told her. I can hear him saying, "Don't let your sister know I told you."
I am so disappointed in my father and so embarassed. I can imagine my sister making boob jokes about me with my brother. I shouldn't care, but the point is...I didn't want them to know. Why on earth would he tell them?
Anyhow I called him to ask and he denied telling her. Then I read her text and he said, "Well...I don't remember what I say to her. I didn't talk to her today."
I told him how disappointed I was and how I felt embarassed now and he went off on a rampage. I don't even know what he said, but in the end he's sick of all of us and he hung up the phone. Like last time.
I am just so fed up with him. He's too old for me to keep him upset on my account so I wrote him anotehr letter, like I did last time, telling him I would still talk to him if he were respectful and calm because I love him...blah, blah, blah...but this time I did express that I was disappointed in him and, since he yelled that he was disinheriting all of us and giving his money to charity, I also put in that I was fine with whatever he did with his money because it is HIS money.
I did soften it up with a few pictures of when I was with Julie and the baby, but, really, a few weeks ago he yelled at me about how he wasn't interested in his grandchildren. He said, "They should call me if they want to see me." I told him the baby was less than a year old and that his six year old grandson had never seen him even once.
"He should still call me!"
This was a theme in my childhood. My grandma and grandpa from my mom's side (this is the grandma who favored me) would come over every Saturday. When I was little, I didn't call her. She just came over to see us because she wanted to see us. I would hear my mom and dad arguing over the grandparents and my dad would be yelling back then, "Why should my dad and brother come over? Do the kids ever call them????"
So I guess you're supposed to call the adults when you are very young or they don't come over. Maybe it has to start from birth. Who knows?
At any rate, I am not really upset. More just fed up, but doing okay in general.
I am just so glad I don't judge myself by my DNA collection anymore.
Seriously, I know my dad is too old to travel to Missouri to see his grandson now and Bart is not going to accomodate anyone by coming up to Chicago. So I get why he doesn't see him now. However when Junior was born, my dad was still healthy and traveling all over the world. He has been to almost every country you can think of and was very healthy in his early to mid eighties and is still very healthy for ninety. And my son still lived in Chicago when his son was born, so there is also that. The truth is, my dad had no interest in knowing his great-grandson. Honestly, he never paid all that much attention to US ... lol.
Anyhow, yeah. When my sister shocked me with her text, I just typed "thank you" and left it at that.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea!!!
My sister hasn't texted me for about six months by now.
Today I heard my phone get a text so I looked.
Sure enough it was my sister: "Dad told me you're feeling well after surgery. Good to hear!!! Stay on the mend."
I almost burst into tears. For one thing, I have no reason to believe she cares one wit about me. Secondly, I think she did it to taunt me that he told her. I can hear him saying, "Don't let your sister know I told you."
I am so disappointed in my father and so embarassed. I can imagine my sister making boob jokes about me with my brother. I shouldn't care, but the point is...I didn't want them to know. Why on earth would he tell them?
Anyhow I called him to ask and he denied telling her. Then I read her text and he said, "Well...I don't remember what I say to her. I didn't talk to her today."
I told him how disappointed I was and how I felt embarassed now and he went off on a rampage. I don't even know what he said, but in the end he's sick of all of us and he hung up the phone. Like last time.
I am just so fed up with him. He's too old for me to keep him upset on my account so I wrote him anotehr letter, like I did last time, telling him I would still talk to him if he were respectful and calm because I love him...blah, blah, blah...but this time I did express that I was disappointed in him and, since he yelled that he was disinheriting all of us and giving his money to charity, I also put in that I was fine with whatever he did with his money because it is HIS money.
I did soften it up with a few pictures of when I was with Julie and the baby, but, really, a few weeks ago he yelled at me about how he wasn't interested in his grandchildren. He said, "They should call me if they want to see me." I told him the baby was less than a year old and that his six year old grandson had never seen him even once.
"He should still call me!"
This was a theme in my childhood. My grandma and grandpa from my mom's side (this is the grandma who favored me) would come over every Saturday. When I was little, I didn't call her. She just came over to see us because she wanted to see us. I would hear my mom and dad arguing over the grandparents and my dad would be yelling back then, "Why should my dad and brother come over? Do the kids ever call them????"
So I guess you're supposed to call the adults when you are very young or they don't come over. Maybe it has to start from birth. Who knows?
At any rate, I am not really upset. More just fed up, but doing okay in general.
I am just so glad I don't judge myself by my DNA collection anymore.
Seriously, I know my dad is too old to travel to Missouri to see his grandson now and Bart is not going to accomodate anyone by coming up to Chicago. So I get why he doesn't see him now. However when Junior was born, my dad was still healthy and traveling all over the world. He has been to almost every country you can think of and was very healthy in his early to mid eighties and is still very healthy for ninety. And my son still lived in Chicago when his son was born, so there is also that. The truth is, my dad had no interest in knowing his great-grandson. Honestly, he never paid all that much attention to US ... lol.
Anyhow, yeah. When my sister shocked me with her text, I just typed "thank you" and left it at that.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea!!!
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