for those with BiPolar (BP) or BiPolar (BP) family members(adult)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by crazymama30, Feb 17, 2009.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Lately I am more concerned with husband than with difficult child. I am not sure what is up with him, so I thought I would see if anyone here has any ideas. husband goes to psychiatrist thursday night.

    For the last 2 weeks or so husband has been very irritable. I am wondering if his medications need adjusted. He has also been getting tired before, not after he takes his medications. It started that he would get really tired and his eyes would change about 5 or 6pm, and now it is as early as 2 or 3pm. I wish I could describe the eyes, but the way he looks just changes, and he almost looks kinda paranoid/sketchy.

    I have never gone to husband's psychiatrist appts with him. I write notes for husband to take, as he forgets so much of what he wants to bring up. Today he said I could just go with him on Thursday. I am not sure how I feel about that. It almost feels like I would be intruding on something private. I asked husband if he would rather I write a note for psychiatrist, and husband said that would be ok. Now I am almost feeling guilty for not agreeing to go. I am torn, and worried about him. Something is up, and I want to do whatever I can to help, but husband cannot really even describe what is wrong. He is just not in touch with himself. He was raised to be a man's man, and I don't think he knows how to describe his feelings sometimes.

    Sorry this is so long and scattered. If you made it thru this thanks.
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Could he be abusing his pain medications? They have tentatively diagnosis my husband as BiPolar (BP) after his last relapse. He has the "tendency" to overdo everything---including medications. I knew he was probably taking pain medications again for his back and leg pain (he's an addict, he can't control his doses, takes more and more---so we have an agreement). He was always tired. Always. Would come home from work, go to sleep, sleep all weekend long.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I don't think that is it, he only gets 120 pill per month, enough for 4 a day, and he always has an extra bottle laying around as he is so paranoid about running out he hoards them. If he was abusing them I would think he would run out of them. He never runs out, and always has extra. I know that, I got into them when I hurt my foot last week.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I would encourage you to go to the psychiatrist appointment on Thursday. Rather than intruding, I think you would be demonstrating that you and husband are a team working on this problem together. By describing what you're observing, you will help the psychiatrist ask the right questions of husband to get him the best treatment possible. If either you or husband feels uncomfortable having you stay for the entire appointment, you can offer just to be there in the beginning.

    Good luck on Thursday. I hope the psychiatrist is able to help you figure out what is going on with husband.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'd vote for going, too. There's nothing wrong with offering your perspective as a loving partner. I've become my husband's advocate and very often am the one doing the talking for him because he just is not very articulate when it comes to describing his own behavior or symptoms. He's just not very self-aware. One thing I found, though, was that when he went on a MS, he became much better at expressing his feelings without having a meltdown! It's as if his thoughts beccame better organized, if that makes sense.

    Does your husband sleep okay at night? Maybe he's not getting enough rest. Another thought is that he could be depressed. My husband's depression comes out as major irritability.

    Hope the psychiatrist can help you both figure out what's going on.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    If husband asked you to go, then go. Your input can be invaluable to the psychiatrist, most especially if husband isn't one to speak up about his condition or how he feels.

    I used to go with Nichole everytime, even after she turned 18. Because she depended on me to remember things she'd never think to bring up to the psychiatrist.

    I went with my best friend a few times because she was bs-ing her psychiatrist. (same one as Nichole's) Once I discovered the heroine addiction, I gave up. But now she's finally come clean to psychiatrist about her addictions.

    If a patient isn't able, for whatever reason, to speak up for themselves it's good to have an advocate along to help.

  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    He could have some breakthrough cycling. Not like mania but I get sometimes at night, well actually throughout the day because I have break through cycling! But I get kind of agitated and worked up. But you can really see it in my eyes first.
    Maybe he is getting a bit worked up, but not very bad?
    I can sit and be calm and you would not really know I was having racing thoughts etc... but my eyes get kind of big, dilated. I might tap a foot wildly, or move a leg more. Twitch more...
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I don't have any ideas what could be going on unless he is taking some other medication he isn't supposed to.

    But I think going to the psychiatrist with him is an excellent idea. People OFTEN forget what the docs say. Seeing a doctor, esp a specialist, is a very stressful event for many people, especially men and the elderly (Both categories who were often raised not to show feelings or be in touch with their bodies). Having you there with the list of questions and concerns, as well as having all the medications/doses/how often he takes them written down or the bottles in a baggie, is a great way to show support.

    It can take stress off of him, let you have a feel for this doctor and how he treats husband and his illness, and let you take notes for husband to let both of you know after the appointment what the doctor said. You can also ask questions to clarify things so that there are no misunderstandings.

    If teh psychiatrist is doing therapy they can ask you to wait outside during that part of the appointment, but not many psychiatrists do that from my experience.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have a mood disorder. Trust me, psychiatrists rarely engage in "from the heart" therapy sessions. It's usually about medications and how you're feeling. It wouldn't be any more intrusive to go than to attend a regular medical appointment with him. I vote for going with to be able to put in your observations.
  10. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    toto, you just nailed the eyes. Dilated and kinda freaky. I would also say that he is edging towards depression. Both he and difficult child get really irritable. His sleeping pattern is still good, he is asleep by midnight and wakens any where from 8am to 10am. He does and always has tended to sleep a lot, my theory is that the pain wears him out. The pain is worse right now too.

    I will talk with husband again today and see what he wants to do.
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    It sounds like cycling to me also.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My vote is go with him. I asked Tony to go with me to my last appointment because I wanted him to describe how I had changed since the hospitalization.
  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I did forget to add my vote for going as well! I have an open invite to husband to come with to any apt, especially if he thinks I am starting to wig out.
  14. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    The pupil thing could be medication-related:

    I don't know what he normally takes, or if he is a potential abuser, but it's a sign that his sympathetic nervous system is being affected. And if not by medications, perhaps it's a sign he's becoming more anxious or manic? Hope the psychiatrist appointment helps you figure it out!