tryagain
Active Member
Here I was thinking I had not posted in a couple of months, but when I did a search for my posts just to refresh my memory on everything, I realize that it has not even been a month yet! Isn't it strange how time passes slowly when you are on alert and dealing with things every day outside of your normal routine.
Here is how things are right now. (Warning- this will seem like a drama on daytime TV, lol) After her otherwise nice apartment mate relapsed into his heroin addiction, she wanted to make it work and tried to support him in his quest to be clean. Each morning she would remind him of his medicine and check his arms FWIW. He in turn would make sure she took her mood disorder medicine.
It was going well for these two wounded warriors who had a good relationship as trusted friends and nothing more -until he decided to go back to his under- age 17-year-old girlfriend who'd dumped him-she manipulates him, tantalizes him with her model looks and chest size, and despises my daughter for being his apartment mate and friend. She is insanely jealous.
About the time "the girl" reappeared,my daughter found on Facebook a local guy that she remembered fondly from junior high days when they liked each other. He is in the military far away and they sort of picked up where they left off. I remember him well- he was a great kid and a HUGE upgrade over the last boyfriend!
She says that this relationship really works for her right now as she heals from the last one and she enjoys being a support person for him. They enjoy planning the fun things they will do when he returns in the fall.
Meanwhile she has the freedom to go out at night with friends both guys and girls and often people they both know and like.
It was all going smoothly until her apartment mate caved into "the girl" when she became hysterical about my daughters presence in the apartment. So he has abruptly swung into moodiness and undependability and says he's moving out. Won't pay his 1/2 of the rent! My daughter fears he is using again -although his arms have been clean, she thinks he is probably shooting up somewhere else. This is not a healthy apartment mate for her so it is probably for the best, but the financial part is hard.
So I worked with her yesterday on problem-solving and mentioned we had money saved for her to go to community college and had planned to help with an apartment WHEN and IF should she become a full-time student. She could work summers and apply that money to rent while in school. (That is what her sibling, the combo easy child/difficult child does.) She said, "I think this is the push I needed to start school."
So this way we would hopefully be just assisting her with her living expenses during college, which we would have done anyway...instead of out right handing out money which I refuse to do. (Thanks to all of you friends who encouraged me not to do that! )
She is also still working the equivalent of a second job for me, to slowly pay back the money on the apartment with the former boyfriend five hours away. She also is slowly paying her dad back for some expenses she incurred moving into the current apartment. So I keep a log of all these expenses and hold her accountable.
I am asking for your prayers today that she will not lose her food delivery job, stay stable in the face of stress, and maintain her new plan to enroll in school while continuing to emotionally support her overseas military boyfriend.
Thank you everyone. I don't know what I would do without this website. I don't know another soul on earth who would understand this!
Here is how things are right now. (Warning- this will seem like a drama on daytime TV, lol) After her otherwise nice apartment mate relapsed into his heroin addiction, she wanted to make it work and tried to support him in his quest to be clean. Each morning she would remind him of his medicine and check his arms FWIW. He in turn would make sure she took her mood disorder medicine.
It was going well for these two wounded warriors who had a good relationship as trusted friends and nothing more -until he decided to go back to his under- age 17-year-old girlfriend who'd dumped him-she manipulates him, tantalizes him with her model looks and chest size, and despises my daughter for being his apartment mate and friend. She is insanely jealous.
About the time "the girl" reappeared,my daughter found on Facebook a local guy that she remembered fondly from junior high days when they liked each other. He is in the military far away and they sort of picked up where they left off. I remember him well- he was a great kid and a HUGE upgrade over the last boyfriend!
She says that this relationship really works for her right now as she heals from the last one and she enjoys being a support person for him. They enjoy planning the fun things they will do when he returns in the fall.
Meanwhile she has the freedom to go out at night with friends both guys and girls and often people they both know and like.
It was all going smoothly until her apartment mate caved into "the girl" when she became hysterical about my daughters presence in the apartment. So he has abruptly swung into moodiness and undependability and says he's moving out. Won't pay his 1/2 of the rent! My daughter fears he is using again -although his arms have been clean, she thinks he is probably shooting up somewhere else. This is not a healthy apartment mate for her so it is probably for the best, but the financial part is hard.
So I worked with her yesterday on problem-solving and mentioned we had money saved for her to go to community college and had planned to help with an apartment WHEN and IF should she become a full-time student. She could work summers and apply that money to rent while in school. (That is what her sibling, the combo easy child/difficult child does.) She said, "I think this is the push I needed to start school."
So this way we would hopefully be just assisting her with her living expenses during college, which we would have done anyway...instead of out right handing out money which I refuse to do. (Thanks to all of you friends who encouraged me not to do that! )
She is also still working the equivalent of a second job for me, to slowly pay back the money on the apartment with the former boyfriend five hours away. She also is slowly paying her dad back for some expenses she incurred moving into the current apartment. So I keep a log of all these expenses and hold her accountable.
I am asking for your prayers today that she will not lose her food delivery job, stay stable in the face of stress, and maintain her new plan to enroll in school while continuing to emotionally support her overseas military boyfriend.
Thank you everyone. I don't know what I would do without this website. I don't know another soul on earth who would understand this!