Holy Slot Machines, Batman! Rant warning!

[gcvmom]

If you've heard me rant once about my in-laws and their gambling issues, you've heard me rant a thousand times.

This is yet another rant.

I mentioned in another thread that they've been to Vegas twice this month since they've been out visiting from Texas. They were "invited" to a couple of "free tournaments" -- one was for slots, one involved poker I believe. We all know that nothing is really free. Sure, they might get a free room out of the offer. And a "chance" to win something. But they still have to get there. They still have to eat. Right? And we all know that they will play the slots the rest of the time they are there. Even if it's penny slots, it's still money they don't have.

Well I learned yesterday that they are going back to Vegas the first week in August for yet another tournament (it's about 4.5-5 hour drive from where they are visiting). And this is on the day my mother in law is complaining to me about how her feet have been swollen so she has to take more "water pills" and her shoes have been too tight so now she has blisters. And this is a few days after my husband vented on me because he says his parents are so poor, they only have social security to live on, we don't pay for their medigap insurance anymore so now they have to go on medicaid (nevermind that they live rent-free because sister in law#3 bought the mobile home they live in) and the $300 we sent them so they'd have enough money for gas and a motel room on their trip out here is now gone, and they deserve to live a better life, blah-de-frickin'-blah-blaaaah.

But here's the real icing for me: Tonight, after driving an hour back from sister in law#1's where she threw a 55th anniversary party for them (where we had to drive TWO cars because I was assigned to buy a large balloon bouquet for the party decorations and it took up the back of my car -- so I left early to get the balloons, drive down to the party and arrange them...), husband announces to me that he's taking his parents 90 min. south of here to a tribal indian casino!!!!!!!

I'm thinking to myself that maybe mother in law should be buying herself shoes that fit instead of manipulating her son into taking her gambling!!!

Annnnnd.... they were supposedly stopping along the way to pick up sister in law#2 (who is debt up to her eyeballs from gambling and supposedly close to losing her house, and whose husband did not come to the party today because he was WORKING -- but that's just another sad, dramatic story in this circus I married into).

They are master manipulators and sweet talk their kids into giving them $20 here, $40 there...

I don't have gas money, what will I do?!

We have to get dad's car fixed, and we have no money!

My teeth need to be fixed but I can't afford it!

My shoes hurt my feet (oh, geez she must have talked this one up about half a dozen times between yesterday and today -- she did it to husband at the party today and he turns to me and says I -- I should take her shoe shopping tomorrow! I replied to them both that HE should go since he loves to shop for shoes so much.

Oh, I loved this party so much -- I haven't had a party since I was 10 years old! (B.S., by the way)

Somewhere in her deluded, dysfunctional life she's learned that if she mentions a want, a need, a wish, someone, somewhere would grant it if she dropped enough hints.

I am beyond disgusted tonight.

For tomorrow, I'm torn between taking them someplace that requires a LOT of walking... or just running away to spend the day alone and leaving them to deal with, I mean, spend quality time with their grand kids.

 

[Fran]

Rant away. Leave in laws to your husband. They are his parents. After breakfast, take a book and go into your room and don't come out until husband takes them wherever they want to go. Keep the checkbook with you and give husband 20.00 for gas. Let them figure it out. You have children to support and put through school.
I have a similar problem with my own mom. She spends on nonsense then is too poor to pay for necessities. LOL. I handle her finances now so I let all the credit cards expire and track her every penney. She is almost out of debt. She doesn't think too kindly of my "help".

It really is really difficult for our generation to balance what is helping out our parents and enabling them especially if they have difficult child tendencies. Hope the visit goes better today.

 

[busywend]

Vent away.

But, you can't change them.

So vent. And try to ignore. Or figure out how to not let it stress you out.
Doesn't sound worth taking up space in your brain.
They are irresponsible. Let husband handle it. Keep suggesting to him that you should not be giving them money due to the gambling.

HUGS! Do something for yourself today!

 

[ML]

You have every reason to feel frustrated. The only thing you can do is detach, let husband take care of them and you take care of you. I do understand, g. If only someone jumped so fast when we expressed our (true) needs. Hugs, ML

 

[1905]

You must remove yourself somehow from every conversation where they NEED x,y, and z.
Just say nothing, don't engage them at all, stop talking in midsentence if you have to. If they keep insisting- tell them the conversation is over. I can imagine how frustrating this must be, I'm sorry. I know people who work ijn casino's and they say there are people who sit on the machines for their entire 8-hour shift, plus these same people are there every day, dressed in rags. So sad. My husband is a carpet installer and he does work in the casinos- the rugs are completely urine-soaked. People don't even leave the machines to use the bathroom. He gets right in the shower after work.

 

[Wiped Out]

Hugs-I'd be fit to be tied!

 

[KTMom91]

Sending hugs. I'd be irritated too.