welcometowitsend
Member
So my parents have only been home from Florida for about two weeks. When they were home at Christmas they had difficult child at their house, feeding him, doing laundry, driving him wherever he wanted to go. Ugh.
Since they've been home they've taken him out for breakfast and dinner several times. In some ways it's a nice gesture and in other ways he is using them for a free meal.
Anyway, the other day my mom asked me if she could buy difficult child new socks because he always seems to be wearing the same mismatched pair of socks that a female friend gave him. So, I said sure, what could a couple of pairs of socks hurt? Well, she went out and practically bought him a new wardrobe - socks, shirts, underwear. She would have bought him pants and shoes but didn't know what size he wears.
It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she took him out and bought him new shoes and pants too and then lied to me about it. And it wouldn't surprise me if she gave him $$ and lied to me about that too.
This really ticked me off. difficult child still apparently has his job - how he didn't get fired I'll never know but he only works 3-12 hours a week. Doesn't bother to go to school and is sleeping in someone else's spare bedroom and apparently paying $25 a week in rent. If he works 12 hours a week and pays $25 a week in room and board he has $100 a week in spending money. He can buy his own clothes but instead he spends it on alcohol and cigarettes. He still has not applied for SA because he either knows he doesn't qualify or he is just too darned lazy.
What does my mother think she is teaching him by supplying these needs - that he can continue to be a bum that doesn't go to school, barely works and yet people will support him. Ugh!!!!!
Then she says that she gives the people he is staying with credit for taking him in. What?!! I don't - they are enabling his behaviour - what is there to be thankful for in that regard?
And her excuse for his lack of attendance at school. Well, he must be bored with classes because he is so smart. Huh? So what! Who cares if he is bored - aren't 80% of kids in school bored to tears from 9am -3pm every day from September to June!?
She can't even see that she is making excuses for him. Sorry, I need to vent or I might just bite my mothers head off. I did tell her that this is unacceptable but I don't think that'll stop her from doing it if it makes her feel good. I can see this causing a huge rift between her and I. Not only is she enabling difficult child but she is making husband and I look even worse in difficult child's eyes because she is affirming his belief that he is entitled to these things and we as his parents are not supplying them so Gma has to.
*Sigh....... deep breath.
Since they've been home they've taken him out for breakfast and dinner several times. In some ways it's a nice gesture and in other ways he is using them for a free meal.
Anyway, the other day my mom asked me if she could buy difficult child new socks because he always seems to be wearing the same mismatched pair of socks that a female friend gave him. So, I said sure, what could a couple of pairs of socks hurt? Well, she went out and practically bought him a new wardrobe - socks, shirts, underwear. She would have bought him pants and shoes but didn't know what size he wears.
It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she took him out and bought him new shoes and pants too and then lied to me about it. And it wouldn't surprise me if she gave him $$ and lied to me about that too.
This really ticked me off. difficult child still apparently has his job - how he didn't get fired I'll never know but he only works 3-12 hours a week. Doesn't bother to go to school and is sleeping in someone else's spare bedroom and apparently paying $25 a week in rent. If he works 12 hours a week and pays $25 a week in room and board he has $100 a week in spending money. He can buy his own clothes but instead he spends it on alcohol and cigarettes. He still has not applied for SA because he either knows he doesn't qualify or he is just too darned lazy.
What does my mother think she is teaching him by supplying these needs - that he can continue to be a bum that doesn't go to school, barely works and yet people will support him. Ugh!!!!!
Then she says that she gives the people he is staying with credit for taking him in. What?!! I don't - they are enabling his behaviour - what is there to be thankful for in that regard?
And her excuse for his lack of attendance at school. Well, he must be bored with classes because he is so smart. Huh? So what! Who cares if he is bored - aren't 80% of kids in school bored to tears from 9am -3pm every day from September to June!?
She can't even see that she is making excuses for him. Sorry, I need to vent or I might just bite my mothers head off. I did tell her that this is unacceptable but I don't think that'll stop her from doing it if it makes her feel good. I can see this causing a huge rift between her and I. Not only is she enabling difficult child but she is making husband and I look even worse in difficult child's eyes because she is affirming his belief that he is entitled to these things and we as his parents are not supplying them so Gma has to.
*Sigh....... deep breath.