scent of cedar
New Member
Events are following their own courses. difficult child is picking up on her life, making her own decisions, and needing/expecting less and less from us.
This is a strange, uneventful place to suddenly be, given the chaos of the past year.
Relationships are strained, outbursts common. There is much judgment of our responses to difficult child, both now and in the past, and of our protectiveness over difficult child's kids. difficult child believes that the things that happened came about because she was being prevented from talking to her children, and resents me for the part I played in that.
I've told her that, given the same situation, I would do the same again.
I've told her I am watching, now.
There is so much anger here, bubbling away beneath the surface.
The relationship between difficult child and the neighbor continues. I am conflicted about that. Part of the conflict has to do with understanding that husband and I are being disparaged and blamed by difficult child, and that the friend's loyalty has changed.
Granddaughter is here. difficult child is parenting well.
I am carrying around a lot of anger over everything. I am trying to believe for the best and blah, blah, blah...but it's tough.
Cedar
**************
Also, difficult child is furious that we did not rent she and the bad man (and who knows who else) a room during the blizzard last winter when she was homeless. I was so surprised by the rage beneath difficult child's comments that I forgot we had contacted relatives living in the city, and that they were willing to collect difficult child at any time.
But the bad man? No Way.
difficult child is furious too that we would not let the bad man come and live here with her once we got back this Spring. She sees that as desertion, as hateful, as judgmental of the poor bad man, who is a wonderful person and only needs a chance.
Bad man, by the way, is still in jail awaiting trial on the attempted vehicular homicide thing.
Writing it out has helped me understand my own position a little more clearly.
This is a strange, uneventful place to suddenly be, given the chaos of the past year.
Relationships are strained, outbursts common. There is much judgment of our responses to difficult child, both now and in the past, and of our protectiveness over difficult child's kids. difficult child believes that the things that happened came about because she was being prevented from talking to her children, and resents me for the part I played in that.
I've told her that, given the same situation, I would do the same again.
I've told her I am watching, now.
There is so much anger here, bubbling away beneath the surface.
The relationship between difficult child and the neighbor continues. I am conflicted about that. Part of the conflict has to do with understanding that husband and I are being disparaged and blamed by difficult child, and that the friend's loyalty has changed.
Granddaughter is here. difficult child is parenting well.
I am carrying around a lot of anger over everything. I am trying to believe for the best and blah, blah, blah...but it's tough.
Cedar
**************
Also, difficult child is furious that we did not rent she and the bad man (and who knows who else) a room during the blizzard last winter when she was homeless. I was so surprised by the rage beneath difficult child's comments that I forgot we had contacted relatives living in the city, and that they were willing to collect difficult child at any time.
But the bad man? No Way.
difficult child is furious too that we would not let the bad man come and live here with her once we got back this Spring. She sees that as desertion, as hateful, as judgmental of the poor bad man, who is a wonderful person and only needs a chance.
Bad man, by the way, is still in jail awaiting trial on the attempted vehicular homicide thing.
Writing it out has helped me understand my own position a little more clearly.