if this will maybe be the wakeup call my gfgbro needs?
For my mother's birthday, we finally began sharing holidays etc... at my folks with my gfgbro. Today we got together there and I learned that niece is no longer living with gfgbro at all. He won't be around for xmas. He is leaving town because of all the tension/stress with his daughter. Says he doesn't want to go to jail for making her do homework.
While part of me aches because I can see the pain he is in, I also know his rage and how he expresses it. I cannot judge niece at all. Not after having to protect my kids from him and his rage.
My parents have offered to pay for therapy for him, and I pray he will get some help. Maybe this will be what it takes for him to see that the problem is really him and his anger. Until now it has always been me, and my 'inability' to handle anger that was the problem. About a year ago my mother finally said that she sees his rage and how it is a problem and it was creating problems between him and his daughter. I sort of figured that without me to rant and rage at, he would take it out on his daughter, but I could not stay in the line of fire. I think my folks now see it isn't 'just Susie' that is/has the problem.
What a strange turn of events, but yet one i predicted several years ago - back when his daughter was a toddler. It makes me sad. I thought I would feel guilty over this, but I just feel sad.
For my mother's birthday, we finally began sharing holidays etc... at my folks with my gfgbro. Today we got together there and I learned that niece is no longer living with gfgbro at all. He won't be around for xmas. He is leaving town because of all the tension/stress with his daughter. Says he doesn't want to go to jail for making her do homework.
While part of me aches because I can see the pain he is in, I also know his rage and how he expresses it. I cannot judge niece at all. Not after having to protect my kids from him and his rage.
My parents have offered to pay for therapy for him, and I pray he will get some help. Maybe this will be what it takes for him to see that the problem is really him and his anger. Until now it has always been me, and my 'inability' to handle anger that was the problem. About a year ago my mother finally said that she sees his rage and how it is a problem and it was creating problems between him and his daughter. I sort of figured that without me to rant and rage at, he would take it out on his daughter, but I could not stay in the line of fire. I think my folks now see it isn't 'just Susie' that is/has the problem.
What a strange turn of events, but yet one i predicted several years ago - back when his daughter was a toddler. It makes me sad. I thought I would feel guilty over this, but I just feel sad.