SuZir
Well-Known Member
I'm a worrywart and difficult child of course is my favourite worry-topic. His season is about to end. After that they will have a few days drinking binge and after that their only true vacation time starts. Few weeks time to rest and heal injuries before they start off-season training first with the team and when independently in July and after that their pre-season starts. difficult child and his girlfriend plan to use last week of difficult child off time to take a beach vacation, they don't know yet where they are going but will book in last minute to somewhere warm. What I do worry is the time between season ending and them taking the trip. girlfriend will be extra busy with school to make a trip possible. difficult child will have nothing to do and the tradition is that team mates try to stay as far from each others as possible, because that is an only time they don't have to stand each other daily. So he will be alone and with nothing to do. I can see two big dangers there. Either he could party every night, sleep all day and make a total mess. Or he could just lie on the sofa and play CoD all day and night and mess his sleep patterns (they are the big problem) and seclude himself, not even leave the flat for anything but taking the dog out. And giving his recent issues I can easily see that ending up with him being too anxious to go out again and meet people when training starts and being really in trouble then.
Another thing is our kitchen reno. It is in progress. And it will be in progress this time next year, if something doesn't change. We are using pros to do more difficult parts but decided to do a lot ourselves. husband is not at all hopeless with this kind of things neither am I. And father in law promised to help and he is really good with things like this. But for some reason husband has turned out to be incredibly busy. father in law comes here daily and does things, but a lot can not be done alone. I do help him after work but he does has his own activities during evenings.
Let's add difficult child being short on money (he always is, after all, he really is a minimum wage pro athlete )
Okay, my plan is to ask difficult child come home for the week or ten days or maybe even two weeks and offer to pay him few hundreds, if he will help father in law with reno. That way he would have more money for the trip with girlfriend. And he would need to wake up every morning at decent time, eat regularly, meet people (friends, relatives, people working with the reno etc.), I could make sure he gets out of the house daily etc. And difficult child has usually been good in helping father in law and isn't totally hopeless with tools. He has also in the past tended to behave better for father in law than for I or husband.
As I stated in the title, I do know I'm asking for trouble:
a) While husband and difficult child are in slightly better footing after difficult child's last trip to home, things are always in danger to get tense.
b) difficult child is much more likeable afar. He really knows how to grate. He is having difficult time right now and that usually means he will behave insufferable way.
c) If he doesn't keep his end of the bargain, it will likely cause trouble between me and husband. We will react differently and he will see me coddling difficult child again, I will see him being unreasonable. Especially when I wouldn't really expect difficult child working that hard. It is his only holiday after all. He needs to be able to spend some time also on sofa playing CoD.
d) If we make clear contract of what is expected from difficult child he will surely start cutting corners and pushing it. He always does. If not making it so clear, he will likely work better but then there will be a lot of room for all kinds of conflicts over what he was supposed to do and what not. And we can count husband being irritated and trying to find fault, because he is irritated with me not being happy with how reno is going and husband's contribution to it.
e) If difficult child is total brat he can even manage to anger father in law. (Okay, I'm not sure if even difficult child can manage to be that much of a brat.)
f) Even in best case it will be walking on eggshells.
Now, doesn't it sound like a perfect plan?
Another thing is our kitchen reno. It is in progress. And it will be in progress this time next year, if something doesn't change. We are using pros to do more difficult parts but decided to do a lot ourselves. husband is not at all hopeless with this kind of things neither am I. And father in law promised to help and he is really good with things like this. But for some reason husband has turned out to be incredibly busy. father in law comes here daily and does things, but a lot can not be done alone. I do help him after work but he does has his own activities during evenings.
Let's add difficult child being short on money (he always is, after all, he really is a minimum wage pro athlete )
Okay, my plan is to ask difficult child come home for the week or ten days or maybe even two weeks and offer to pay him few hundreds, if he will help father in law with reno. That way he would have more money for the trip with girlfriend. And he would need to wake up every morning at decent time, eat regularly, meet people (friends, relatives, people working with the reno etc.), I could make sure he gets out of the house daily etc. And difficult child has usually been good in helping father in law and isn't totally hopeless with tools. He has also in the past tended to behave better for father in law than for I or husband.
As I stated in the title, I do know I'm asking for trouble:
a) While husband and difficult child are in slightly better footing after difficult child's last trip to home, things are always in danger to get tense.
b) difficult child is much more likeable afar. He really knows how to grate. He is having difficult time right now and that usually means he will behave insufferable way.
c) If he doesn't keep his end of the bargain, it will likely cause trouble between me and husband. We will react differently and he will see me coddling difficult child again, I will see him being unreasonable. Especially when I wouldn't really expect difficult child working that hard. It is his only holiday after all. He needs to be able to spend some time also on sofa playing CoD.
d) If we make clear contract of what is expected from difficult child he will surely start cutting corners and pushing it. He always does. If not making it so clear, he will likely work better but then there will be a lot of room for all kinds of conflicts over what he was supposed to do and what not. And we can count husband being irritated and trying to find fault, because he is irritated with me not being happy with how reno is going and husband's contribution to it.
e) If difficult child is total brat he can even manage to anger father in law. (Okay, I'm not sure if even difficult child can manage to be that much of a brat.)
f) Even in best case it will be walking on eggshells.
Now, doesn't it sound like a perfect plan?