Trust is the foundation of all meaningful relationships, and without trust, you have nothing. One of the biggest reasons I am at the point where I want absolutely nothing to do with my son is becuase of years and years of lying. When he was a teen I caught him in the act of taking money from his mothers pocketbook. He actually had the nerve to tell me that she said he could take it. When he was in his early 20s he had a summer job at a resort that provided room and board to the employees. The second time he came to live with us was under false pretenses. He told my wife that he needed some place to live until May when the resort opened up again and he could go back to work. Despite my misgivings about allowing him back in our house (kicked him out once already as an adult), I was assured it was temporary so I reluctantly gave in. When May came around, the truth came out. He was caught smoking pot on the job and asked not to return. My wife was so angry that she was the one who kicked him out. When he lived with us during that time one of the rules my wife had for him was that absolutely no girls were allowed to spend the night. If he wanted to get lucky, he needed to make other plans. He started dating his ex wife back then, and despite the fact that she had an apartment, she spent many nights at our house against our rules. The house we lived in at the time had a finished attic, so except for sharing the bathroom and kitchen with us, it was like he had his own apartment. She would park her car down the street and sneak in at night after we went to bed. His mother saw her car at night and then drove by and saw it in the same place the next morning on the way to work. Of course he denied it.
More recently he started to ask us to borrow money. It was always something that he needed money for right away. It was a prescription that he needed, or his electricity was going to be shut off if he didn't pay the bill today. My guess is that the money was for drugs and that's why he needed it so urgently. Even when he tells the truth, it's only the half truth. He admitted he lost his job due to drug use. He told us it was prescription pills. It was my ex-daughter in law who told my wife that the 20 year old girl he was dating was a junkie. When my wife heard this, she immediately confronted him and he reluctantly admitted that he was using heroin too. If I sat here for a few more hours I could probably think of enough of his lies to write pages and pages, but you get the point. When someone lies to you over and over again for many years, how can you ever rebuild a trusting relationship? Is it even possible to do that?
More recently he started to ask us to borrow money. It was always something that he needed money for right away. It was a prescription that he needed, or his electricity was going to be shut off if he didn't pay the bill today. My guess is that the money was for drugs and that's why he needed it so urgently. Even when he tells the truth, it's only the half truth. He admitted he lost his job due to drug use. He told us it was prescription pills. It was my ex-daughter in law who told my wife that the 20 year old girl he was dating was a junkie. When my wife heard this, she immediately confronted him and he reluctantly admitted that he was using heroin too. If I sat here for a few more hours I could probably think of enough of his lies to write pages and pages, but you get the point. When someone lies to you over and over again for many years, how can you ever rebuild a trusting relationship? Is it even possible to do that?
