Ok, I gotta share...husband was helpful this weekend.

[Shari]

After spending a huge portion of last week increasingly frustrated with husband, he was strangely very helpful this weekend.

This is the annual horse and pony rides to raise money for our riding club. husband has a standing history of not doing much at it, either. While the rest of us log 10-20 miles A DAY leading children around on a horse, husband spends it as a huge social event...he might cook in the dutch oven, but that's about it.

This year, however, about 1pm, he actually started walking horses, helping take money, getting drinks for other walkers, etc. He actually worked.

And I just found out why.

I came into work this morning and a co-worker, who loves horses and kids and always volunteers to help, asked if husband had said anything to me about her, which he had not.

Apparently, she made a comment to a friend that it was really sad to see Cgfg out there walking her little tail off with her father no where to be seen. husband had been off having fun riding someone's mule most of the morning, but at the moment she said that, he was sitting behind her, talking to the mule's owner (an elderly gentleman who isn't capable of walking, but who was sitting at the table taking money and wiping out helmets - still helping). Shortly after, she said husband got up and went and got a horse and started walking riders.

What makes it even better is that later that evening, we were sitting around a campfire, and brother-in-law took off with the boys to go to the bar, leaving sister-in-law with 3 year old neice (and they are trying to have another one) behind at the campfire, while the rest of the town partied. When it was down to just me, husband, and sister in law, she let loose about brother in law taking off and leaving her stuck to take care of feeding and watering AND chasing the kid while he's out partying it up. She also complained about several judgement calls...several things very similar to hat I have said to husband this week, also (like not keeping track of Wee or even worse, just telling him he can take off and run during a festival where 45,000 people descend on this little town - I can't let him "watch" Wee anymore during this fesitval for that reason)...

husband tried to take off on Sunday, but when we got buried with riders and were trying to swap tired horses in and out, then sister in law and I were doing our dangedest to keep track of Wee and Neice but couldn't because they kept taking off, I called husband and asked him to at least come and wrangle kids and help swap horses, etc, he came right back and not so much as a complaint.

husband spent the weekend being very helpful. I had no idea why, but maybe having heard it from a relative stranger, then hearing the same comments from sister in law, will sink in a bit.

I can hope, anyway.

 

[Shari]

And while watering the chickens a bit ago, I found another pile of beer cans. 18 cans of brand A, 5 cans brand B, 1 bottle of brand C, and 2 bottles of brand D....unopened and dumped in the yard, so he could go buy new. Another $25 bucks, thrown away. Yay.

 

[Jena]

stay hopeful. i'm glad he did help

 

[gcvmom]

Sometimes guys can be so thick headed.

 

[Marguerite]

Good that he pitched in and helped. Sometimes a stranger's words cut a lot deeper than all the long-term nagging from loved ones.

I'd be stacking up the discarded beers and putting them in the fridge. If the new beers are in the fridge taking up all the room, they come out to make room for the older stock. ALWAYS rotate stock! Unless these are brands he doesn't like, that he acquired (people 'pay' with beer, here in Australia). In which case he can give them to someone else.

Do you use beer as payment for services rendered in the US? It's very much currency here. You turn up to a barbecue and you take a "slab" (a dozen 'tinnies'). Or your mates come round and help build a deck in your backyard - you lay on plenty of beer, your wife cooks a barbecue, and later on you give each of your mates a slap. Or a bottle of his beverage of choice, if it's spirits. It's sort of dollar for dollar in terms of how much it costs, but if your mate has really been there for you, you might give him a bottle of, say, single malt scotch whisky. That can cost a lot more than a slab or two.

Interestingly, we don't drink beer in this household except very rarely, after he's mown the lawn in summer, husband might drink one tinnie. Usually though, he will prefer a bottle of cider. I've never tasted beer (hate the smell) and have decided scotch whisky is wasted on me. Even single malt. husband is a scotch drinker, but in extreme moderation. Anyone who knows him doesn't pay him in slabs of beer, but in bottles of blended scotch. But no waste is acceptable here, and I WILL rotate stock if anyone tries to throw stuff out that they shouldn't. I have been known to check the bins and rescue stuff. I usually make the culprit empty the bin - it tends to work as good aversion therapy.

Marg

 

[Shari]

Oh, yes, we pay in beer here, too. But this was beer he bought for a buggy ride. Ride ended. He didn't want to bother cleaning out the cooler. Its sat in the yard for the past couple months. It would be terribly nasty to drink now, after being hot and cold so much.

And this is a routine thing. buy beer, load the cooler, drink some, leave the rest. Next time he needs a cooler? Dumps the nasty beer in the yard somewhere, buys more beer, loads the cooler, drink some, and leave it.

Since I've been keeping track of this, he's thrown away $100 of beer in this manner, and my "counting" started when difficult child 1 was home for a visit mid-august.

 

[Marguerite]

I'd still be serving up the dumped beer.

Alternatively, I'd be the one cleaning out his cooler and putting the beer in the fridge.

Here, we leave it sitting on the floor of the garage until we have the fridge room. Then it gets chilled. Unless it's been really hot (I mean really, really hot, as in an oven) or left until it froze and burst the can, there should be nothing wrong with it. After all, before you bring it home from the store, how has it been kept? If the can is still sealed and if it's only a few months old, it should be perfectly OK to drink. Just get it to serving temperature first.

Seriously - if he says it doesn't taste OK, then that is his problem. But any beer he has to throw away, he should be separately covering the cost. In this he needs the difficult child treatment - "earn it back, boyo!"

Marg

 

[Shari]

I used to be the one that cleaned out the coolers, but I quit. I saw no reason why I should be out there cleaning up after him (we have seperate coolers, as he usually will pack so much beer for himself that there is no room for other drinks for the kids, so I got a seperate cooler) while he sat on his rump in front of a screen, so I quit. So now, when he needs the cooler, he just takes it and dumps whatever is left in it and goes.

I take his paycheck now. Started that a few months ago to offset the car expense. But even when I didn't take his check, it didn't phase him to throw away perfectly good beer.

He did take cgfg's horse to get his shoes reset on Friday and commented that the price of shoing the horses seemed high. But will he go pull the shoes before they lose them this fall? Most likely not.

I asked him to work on laundry while he sat in front of the tv Friday. He washed one load. The dryer is broken and he had to hang them out. He's not doing that, even though we can save $75 a month by not using the dryer.

He needs reality to smack him upside the head. He needs to pay the bills that make the hosuehold run and see why you don't throw away beer, or horseshoes, or cars. He needs to see the end result of a little extra effort to hang out laundry vs throwing it in the dryer. He needs to see that leaving 4 skillets on the stove makes it difficult to cook supper the next night, and the next night, and the next night. And while laundry isn't fun, and is an inconvenience, it needs to be done. (he was milling around the bedroom this morning sighing annd complaining cause he doesn't have socks in his drawer - they're in a basket in the living room - FIX IT!) And he really needs to see that cars aren't disposable...

 

[Shari]

And it has been really hot. He's hauled this cooler-load around in the car when the daytime temps were still reaching the 100's. I have no doubt this beer would be awful.

 

[Star*]

No matter what divine intervention happened? I'm glad to see YOU happy.

Better than someones buddy coming from SC with a bullwhip or a riding crop. (tch Tch)

 

[tawnya]

Shari, why don't we get married and ditch the "DHs"? I swear you are married to mine...to a "T". The only thing that is different, though, is that your husband rides a mule, and mine is one! LOL.

All kidding aside, I just can't believe the similarities...even down to the dutch ovens.