Ok...this has to do with the relationship between my boys...particularly Jamie...and my father. Jamie is very upset with my father and my step-mom Pat right now and really could not care less if he ever saw or spoke with them again. It breaks my heart that he is feeling this way because my father is 81 years old and Jamie has always been his favorite of my boys and gosh...its all so complicated! Some background: My dad married my step-mom when I was pregnant with Jamie and while I was "invited" to the wedding, they knew I lived 5 hours away, had no car and they sent the invite a week before the wedding. I was 7 months pregnant and broke. There was no way I could go. It was more than obvious I wasnt wanted there. Ok...I understood. I was still legally married to one man, had a 3 year old, and pregnant again by someone else that my father didnt know. Ok...probably not the daughter he wanted around. I understand. Fast forward. I got my life much more together. I graduated college but working was difficult for me because of the kids. Cory made it next to impossible for me to work when he was young because no one would keep him. Day care was so expensive with 3 of them that I would have spent more than I would have made. I stayed home until he was in 3rd grade and then I got a good job. Over those years I kept most of the conflict that may have arisen between me and my parents away from my kids. I also never let them know that we may have been poor...lol. They simply didnt know any different. Most of their friends were in the same situations and if they really wanted to do something bad enough like play sports...we did without to let them do it. Or my dad came through for like summer camp. He did pay for them to go to 4H camp a couple of years for a week. He also always sent me Xmas gifts or money for the boys when they were growing up. Now here is the rub. My stepmom has 3 kids all around my same age. They are all more successful than I am. One much more. We are never allowed to mingle the families. Ever. Its almost like me and mine will contaminate hers. We were never allowed to be there on Xmas day. But to keep my boys from knowing all that I always told my kids that it we had to be at home to share Xmas with MY mom. (Like I gave a rats behind about that...lol) We normally went up and saw my dad a week or so later and stayed overnight....a few times he even got us a motel room because it was "too much" for Pat. I never let on to the boys what was going on. I made it an adventure. I knew what was going on. I knew we were the second class part of the family. I got it...but I never let the kids know. Well...Jamie is now getting it. The last several times he has been to my dads things have been said to him about how they (the boys) would never have had what they had if my dad and pat hadnt done all that they did for us. Things have been brought up about how my dad has sent me money when the boys were growing up to help out with them. He sees first hand how if Jamie calls and says he can come down to see them but Pats kids want to be there, they take first place. This has all made Jamie furious. He says they are F'ing with his memories. He doesnt need to know any of this. He always saw his childhood as good and fun. His parents were good to him. His Papa was a great guy that he looked up to. He doesnt need to know about our finances back in 1990 or who bought what for him for Xmas in 1995. I dont know how to handle this. I am afraid that my dad is going to die with Jamie being mad at him which will end up with Jamie feeling so guilty because Jamie feels things sooooo deeply. I have worked through the fact that I am a second class citizen no matter what I do. I can never measure up. It doesnt much matter to me anymore but I cant stand the fact that they are now hurting my kid. Shun me all you want but dont take it out on him. Its not his fault I was a difficult child. He has done all he can to make his Papa proud...heck he followed his Papa's footsteps into the Marines! The boy was almost in tears last night on the phone talking about this stuff.