Quick update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by slsh, Oct 14, 2014.

  1. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    I don't make it onto the board very often anymore, but I spent the morning with thank you on Sunday and it make me think of you all. So many of you were with me during the bad old days, I thought you should hear about the good days.

    I was meeting him at a store to get him a computer for school. I walked in and was looking around for him - couldn't find him. Then I realized that the good looking very tall guy in the computer dept was my son. LOL - I felt a gush of pride. All he's been thru.... and he looks the best he ever has. Still wicked thin, but clear eyes and skin, charming, appropriate, just wonderful.

    He's been on his own now for over a year. Has learned how to manage his money. Has had a job for virtually the entire time as a contract server (goes to various venues to serve food). Started EMT classes yesterday. Has *finally* learned that planning means more than jumping from point A to point D without hitting B and C, and is also occasionally jumping *thru* the hoop!!! Old timers will remember his propensity for going around the hoop, no matter how much extra work that took, LOL.

    He will ask for advice and actually listen to it. He is an utter delight to be around. Absolutely just the greatest kid. Warm and loving and ... very cool. husband had to go out of town a couple weeks ago, and thank you volunteered to come over to help me out with picking Diva up from school and with Boo. I really didn't expect him to follow through, but he did. On his own. I was just so proud of him (though a bit insulted that he thought I needed help, LOL, but mainly just proud that he was that thoughtful).

    He still struggles with his thoughts/moods and chronic insomnia but made the decision to start following up with a psychiatrist again, on his own. He is frustrated that he isn't more ... I guess "established" is the word, but I remind him over and over again that he is making continuous forward progress and will get there. He's only 23, really still just a baby, and getting established will come. It's fun to watch him make plans now because they are *realistic* plans and he has some medium-range goals that are definitely achievable.

    We talk a fair amount about the old days, about choices we made and ones we could have done differently. He is pretty adamant that we did the best we could and that it was always on him to own his life. It still hurts my heart that he's had to go through all he has to get to this point, but... it is what it is. I do think umpteen years of therapy did finally click with him and that he's got decent insight into how his brain works. He's proven he knows when he needs help, either professional or just a midnight call to me. It's nice to have the phone ring (very rarely) in the middle of the night now and not immediately go into panic mode. Sometimes he just needs to talk.

    I wish you could see him. He has come so far. He's doing better than I ever dreamed he would. I'm so proud of him, and you guys have to take credit too because you nursed me through a decade of hell.
     
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  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wonderful, uplifting, delightful update slsh. I wasn't around for the beginning, but I sure love hearing how it turned out for you. Thanks. I feel proud of your son too!! Congratulations for all your diligent hard work which produced these results.
     
  3. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Congrats! I am so glad you are getting to enjoy the good parts of parenting again! Enjoy
     
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Sue....you cannot know how much I love this post. I remember that tiny little boy and all you have been through. I cried right along with you through so much of it though I know not as much as you did. I would love to see him. I remember a picture I saw of him when he was maybe 17 or so.

    There are just some kids on the board that feel like my own kids and thank you has always been one of them. At one point it seemed like Cory, Dude and thank you were destined to be triplets! LOL Thankfully thank you seems to be doing the best of all of them. I have high hopes he will continue.
     
  5. HeadlightsMom

    HeadlightsMom Well-Known Member

    Slsh --- Wonderful post! I, also, was not here in your early days of posting. But, as so many of us travel roughly equivalent journeys, I feel your heart in it. How fantastic to be so proud of your son! Kudos to your son for taking his life by the healthy reins....and to your for surviving those years and emerging all the stronger!

    Thanks for sharing this -- It inspires me!
     
  6. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Aw Sue. How wonderful. I remember the struggles like they were yesterday and I feel proud of thank you too. :) A mother's heart..... I have felt pride in my difficult child more and more...still a bit guarded and waiting for the self sabotage to happen but it is less and less. Celebrating with you.
     
  7. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow, Coookie and slsh, it is so good to see your both and get good updates. I am so happy for both of you.
    ~Kathy
     
  8. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I am so proud and happy for you too, slsh. I loved reading the part about wondering where he was and realizing that tall, handsome kid you'd spotted was him!

    It was fun to hear such great news.

    I am still smiling.

    :0)

    Cedar
     
  9. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Slsh, that was so wonderful to read. I'm thrilled for you that thank you has come so far.

    And look -- you brought Coookie here. We haven't seen her for a zillion years! Hey Coookie! Talk to us, please.

    Slsh, please stay in touch. It's so nice to "see" old faces again, especially when you have such a great update!

    Love, Esther
     
  10. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Oh Esther. How are you? Remember Frans? I still have the pictures. I have a post that I posted yesterday. Oh it is so good to hear from you.

    See Sue you still have the power to bring us old timers together and to make new friends too. Yoooohooo Sue. :)
     
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