Suz, Isn't tomorrow the appointment?

[rejectedmom]

I am truly sorry that the news was not better.

I am wondering if Rob could drive safely with his vision problems. I agree with your statement that driving is almost a necessity for being able to work.

I am reely feeling for Rob right now. He is vision impaired, unable to fully use one hand, and possibly learning disabled. The challenge of trying to find and train in a field that plays into his abilitiies must be daunting to him. in my opinion it isn't a matter of "maning up" anymore. These challenges are very real and life changing. I believe Rob will need time to digest all this and think through his options. I agree that applying for disability pension is a good idea. It will take some stress off all and give Rob more time to sort out his future. (((HUGS))) -RM

 

[DDD]

Like Janet I was hoping for better news but am not surprised. The old "hope for the best and prepare for the worst" scenario. Also, I sadly completely understand the use of booze to try to cope. None of our kids have a history of coping well with stress in a healthy way. Trying to seek employment is, in my humble opinion, not likely to happen. We are a famiy of independent
people who never thought any one of us would have to be in any part of "the system" BUT I totally agree with Janet about disability. Now is the time to start the process while the multiple physicians are prepared to document the disabilities. It is a tedious process that needs to be initiated
as early as possible. Disability assures food stamps and Medicaid which will help him contribute to the household and assure medical care is there.

How I wish I could offer more comfort. You remain in my thoughts and prayers, my friend I'm genuinely sorry you are traveling this road. DDD

PS: I strongly suggest that an appropriate indiividual therapist gets on the top of the "to do" chart. Based on experience I really doubt Rob would participate in any group therapy. With the combo of injuries, drinking and the upcoming parenthood he needs his own private counselor to help him do his best.

 

[DammitJanet]

Suz, if I can help in any way with helping you navigate the social security system, just say the word. I may be able to help you with wording or ideas on what may be in his best interests, such as maybe not marrying Heather at this point. I know that may sound odd but not being married can be a benefit when getting benefits...sigh.

 

[ThreeShadows]

Suz, I'm so sorry that this seems so hopeless. The mean drunk part is scary, when that baby is born Heather might have to make some hard choices. My prayers are with your son.

 

[Lori4ever]

Suz, I'm really sorry it wasn't better news, too. I do agree to start the disability process, though. That will also help with any medical or therapy of any kind. Again, I'm so sorry.

 

[Hound dog]

It would be "better" if Rob had double vision in all directions because then they could do surgery or make prism glasses to help.

First let me say I'm impressed the neuro acknowledge the double vision as part of the brain damage and being permanent. That took years for me to get with Travis, and was one of our most frustrating battles. The prism glasses were outrageously expensive and quite frankly.....didn't help at all. We were never told there was surgery that might correct it...but then Travis's damage is in the optic nerves themselves, so that might be why.

I will say this, though......for a guy who sees everything double, he does amazingly well. I don't know how he does it, but he does. Although this quarter Travis took fencing (can you imagine!) and says he has to *think* hard about every move he makes so he doesn't really hurt the other person by accident.

The medications don't surprise me. I was on trazadone, seraquil, and klonopin for 2 yrs following my injury. Oh, forgot Lamictal. lol And I really needed them. Sleeping was next to impossible......along with the other issues.

Janet's suggestion about disability is wise. He can still go back to school and search for something else that interests him........but that would be a good safety net to have just in case the cognitive issues remain a problem. If it weren't for school, I wouldn't have a brain right now. It brought tons of those skills back because I was forced to use them.

College isn't like hs at all. When you all discuss this re-education.......you might want to really stress that. Travis just now figured out that he can wake up late for class......and still go and not get into trouble. lol It's made a huge difference for him this quarter. (and removed alot of stress he was having) You could stop by a local community college and pick up pamphlets with the programs they offer for ideas. I know when I was doing it for Nichole I just stopped by admissions and picked up one of everything and brought them home for her. lol

Now in college, Travis realizes that it was the strict schedule and such about hs that he had major issues with. Going to one or two classes a day with plenty of time to study in between is thrilling him.

It's a lot to swallow at once. But it sounds like you've found an awesome neuro which is exactly what he needs. I love the one's who spell it out for you in no uncertain terms so you know what you're dealing with and such.

I hope the medications help him some.

And you're allowed to sit down and have a good cry. It's really hard to watch someone you love having to deal with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).

Hugs

 

[Suz]

Thanks for the advice and encouragement. I'll be checking into a few things and will certainly holler for help when I hit the roadblocks. I can't think of a better group of people to help us through this maze than you guys.

XXX

Suz

 

[witzend]

Oh, my. That's discouraging. If only the tricep is damaged, and he can use his forearm, there is a surgery that will stabilize the shoulder so that he can still have limited use of his arm and stop the shoulders from falling. I'll send you a link.

 

[Suz]

Thanks, Witz. I appreciate the link and the thought. I don't want to give the impression that Rob's left arm is just hanging there. He can move it. He has full function of his hand and he can move his arm around.

When the neuro was doing "resistance" tests on both arms, his left arm was very weak. I think Rob said he can only do a few curls (something like 10) with his left arm using a five pound weight as opposed to his right arm where he can do an endless amount. I'm hoping that the thought of holding his baby soon will inspire him to try to exercise the rest of his muscles in that arm to help compensate.

Suz

 

[Suz]

Hmmm....I seem to recall the neuro saying "scapular winging" when he did the exam the other day. I'm getting a copy of his report when it's done so I'll look for some of the key words in your article and in his report.

Witz- thanks very much.

Suz

 

[DammitJanet]

Ahhh...scapular winging! I know all too much about that one. Though if Rob can actually do curls with his arm he is in much better shape than Cory was.

The scapula, those shoulder blades which stick out and form what I call angel wings, was not formed correctly in Cory. It wasnt attached to anything and it just floated aimlessly around in his back...winging around back there. He couldnt raise his left arm past an almost 45 degree angle. Not even quite that. His arm was atrophying. They did go in and do surgery to put ligaments from other parts of his body and reattach it but it isnt perfect.

 

[ScentofCedar]

Keeping you and Rob in my thoughts and prayers, Suz. I had no idea this was happening to you, and to Rob.

This is heartbreaking news.

Barbara