Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, May 17, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I got a video from K's husband just a short while ago. We all know how I dread them. lol So I opened it up for viewing. For once he wasn't acting stupid or gfgish. (wow) I could understand him, and he was worried. Explained that a tornado came thru (don't think it did real damage) and knocked out some of the motels routers (?) so it's messed up their internet. He had to go around to the other side of the building and sit in order to send the video.

    He told me K is in bad shape and he's really worried and asked me to please call. So I called. She sounded horrible. She's in alot of pain. And her husband sent me the email because she was shaking in her sleep and he's afraid she seized again.....and was afraid they'd get worse. I told her to go to the ER. She told me she has to walk.......and on foot it's a half hour away. I asked if there was anyone she could call for a ride. The only person who'd offered to give her rides to the ER when she needs it is out of town today.

    So I told her to call an ambulance and forget the walking. It will get her seen faster anyway. I got her talked into it. Which is what her husband wanted me to do......he couldn't get her to go. I told her to ask if a neuro can see her while she's there. (worth a shot)

    So we'll see. She sounded in agony.......and K isn't good at faking it, never was.

    You know it's awful to be so gfgish that you only know one person who would be kind enough to give you a ride to the hospital.:(

    I may not like her husband, but I have to give him credit. He does keep me informed if she is ill. But thank goodness he knew to send a video. I couldn't make any sense out of his email at all. Looked like just a bunch of letters grouped together. Tried to read it phonetically, like one does with a small child......and no, that didn't help.:faint:

    I'll call again tomorrow night to see how she is doing. Oh, and her husband is taking the paperwork in for the medicaid in the morning.

    Gee, makes me feel like I'm talking about much younger people here. sigh
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. Hope she can be seen quickly and can get some relief.
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I'm very sorry for your K's pain. I hope she is able to get some help from somewhere. If she is dying - why hasn't hospice stepped in to help? Does K's husband have a plan for the kids now? I hate to sound so morbid and dark, but I have a sneaking suspicion that grandma and grandpa are going to be raising 2 more little children. Which is fine if you can - but I think someone should be asking the "after" questions NOW - before she's too far gone to make any decisions - does she have a guardian? A living will?

    No one WANTS to even mention these things - but should she perish? WHAT requests of hers will be able to be honoroed or like most people tied up in court for years while the kids live with ????

    Not trying to minimalize her pain and your grief in any way - just trying to minimalize YOUR pain over her in the future. IT's going to be hard enough when she does pass for you and husband - but then to not have a plan when you could have one now with her wishes is going to be harder on EVERYONE.

    Hugs - sending prayers for your family.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Starbie your questions are quite valid, and I've thought about them myself. I'm not doubting her diagnosis per se, but over the past months I'm wondering if she may be exaggerating the prognosis. Might want to peek at the other post about difficult child weirdness.:tongue:

    She supposedly wants her husband to have the kids. No will. No money to get one. No hospice. No SS disability. Heck most of the time she is without medications and doesn't make her doctor appointments.

    The thought of her husband raising the kids makes me roll my eyes. Yeah. The man can't write a 4 word sentence. Uh, no. The man can't write a word. Nope, don't see it happening. So if it comes to that......well, we'll handle it as best we can. But she is making no moves to make her wishes known legally. We've discussed it, but I can't force her to do it. All I get is excuses as to why she can't do it.

    I'll be trying to contact her soon and see if she did go to the ER and see how she's doing.

  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    note to self - laughing a post about difficult child weirdness? OMG - are you serious? That's like saying "Buffy, oh Buffy did the cabana boy come by today and heat the guest home pool towels?"

    You can.....get her to do a last will and testament without going to a lawyer. Have it notarized....just hand write out what she would like to happen.

    Sooooo she's laying it on a little thick is she?

    I'm really sorry -
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    LOL yes, unfortunately she is laying it on thick. And I'm growing impatient with the pity party.

    I'm sure life is rough for her, but it's getting harder to muster up empathy when the kid and her husband are not doing things in any attempt to make their lives better.
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm so sorry DL. That's a lot of weight on you. I *am* glad she agreed to go into DR and await news of that.

    Star is our voice of sobriety in our inebriated life events :) I value that kind of input even though it isn't always pleasant. Having said that, try to stay in the moment and try not to get too sucked into the drama. Hugs, ML
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, in the end, K wound up in the ER twice that night. doctor gave her a pain shot both times, 2nd one was quite a higher strength than the first one. She didn't mention other medications, but at least around here I know ER docs don't feel comfortable with prescribing pain medications.......could have given her back the topomax though....at least for a short while.

    Paperwork got turned into welfare. But no mention of a neuro appointment. By the way her emails are written......she's feeling better. Wish I could be sitting next to her when she finally does go to the neuro so I could hear with my own ears what he has to say. sigh Distance can be such a pain.