Just when I think I'm regaining my life, I feel like life has bopped me on the head and I am pushed back down the dark hole. Hense, the whack a mole comment that one plays at Amusement Parks. I am trying to find a bit of my humour in what has been very difficult years but especially the last couple weeks and a rough weekend. This weekend, I took my own advice and spent a lot of time in my garden as it what use to bring me joy .I have been helping my sister every weekend but we both decided I needed a day for myself and I would visit her the following day. It was working I felt happy until I received a phone call from my son's new Recovery facility and mins later from his father. I'll save those conversations for another thread, but overall those phone calls sucked the life out of me. I tried to find a way to regain my sense of peace and decided to take a hot bath with a good book. That will do the trick to relax me .....so I thought. My peace my shattered with constant calls on my cell which I heard ringing downstairs. I emerge from the tub to answer the phone. It was from my mother who is currently staying with my sister who has stage 4 cancer. My 85 yr old mom was crying and babbling , had left several messages, something about men with trucks on my sisters property and what I thought she said was my son's name. The last message said something about another man has arrived and has brought his shotgun. My heart filled with terror. Both my mother and my sister are completely helpless and are on a remote property. A shotgun - OMG! I call immediately and my mom is still crying and informs me my sister is outside with her animals and they are all dead but people are coming to help her. My sister lives 2 hours from my home and has a private sanctuary with many farm animals whom she rescued from abusive situations. It is for this reason she refuses to leave her property and why I have been going there every weekend to help her.She was only recently diagnosed with cancer and it's stage 4. She is not yet ready to rehome her animals or leave her remote property. I realize when I speak to my mother that she has not said my son's name but rather something about dogs. I tell my mom I'm coming immediately. I make the drive in an 1 and 1/2. When I arrive it is eerily quiet and no other vehicles around- not even the animals that usually come to greet me - the dogs, sheep, chickens and llama's. Nothing. I enter her home and find my mother slumped in a chair with her walker beside her and my sister in bed unable to get up. The story emerges that two Italian Mastiffs appeared on her property and literally ripped her animals apart. Her own three large dogs were in her house and had been barking but my sister was unable to get out of bed at the time and had thought it had been deer that had visited her property earlier that were causing her dogs to bark. My mother who had been up with my sister for most of the night was also laying down. The horror they discovered was unspeakable and my sister was able to call someone for help. I'm so heart broken for my sister who had to experience that especially in her condition. I'm heartbroken for those beautiful animals whose lives were destroyed in such a horrific way. I just returned home this evening and have to return to work tomorrow after my Spring Break. Overall overwhelmed and like a mole I want to crawl into a hole. I am trying to regain the positive attitude I have finally gained but this has been a rough weekend. Thank you for listening. .