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Warning: Sensitive subject...I'm VERY SORRY if I open up any old wounds for anyone but I don't know whom else to ask so here goes:
For those of you whom have generously shared your similar circumstance with me, what did you "tell people" like people at work, church, neighbors, distant family members, etc. when they asked where your child was that suddenly wasn't around anymore and YOU KNEW was never coming home again?
I have been so torn about what to say and sometimes my husband and I don't agree. I don't feel like lying about it but also, people don't need to know our business. Some people are so nosy they don't take a social cue to quit asking, and some people that my daughter has already lied to, I feel terrible about. I lied to 1-2 myself and feel bad about it but they weren't famly members but are people I will see often still. I have been avoiding some people that ARE friends like the plague though they asked me questions and I put them off again and again until they left me alone. I also know some ancillary family members are aware of something going on, I just don't know how much because I have 3 brothers who know the whole story and were told not to share but 2 of the sister-in-laws cannot be trusted so who knows how much they've told. It's all very stressful and unfortunate. I shouldn't even have to worry about it except that I have my daughter's mental state to worry about and we've been avoiding large family gatherings and even changed churches a month ago because she could barely stomach people asking her anymore about where her brother has been. I know we can't shield her forever but she's barely making it and acting out horribly at school because of all of this. She has 6 weeks of a summer intensive to get through starting next week for her performing art and she needs to give it everything because she wasted a whole year already and is lucky they haven't cut her.
Any suggestions??????? All are welcome.
For those of you whom have generously shared your similar circumstance with me, what did you "tell people" like people at work, church, neighbors, distant family members, etc. when they asked where your child was that suddenly wasn't around anymore and YOU KNEW was never coming home again?
I have been so torn about what to say and sometimes my husband and I don't agree. I don't feel like lying about it but also, people don't need to know our business. Some people are so nosy they don't take a social cue to quit asking, and some people that my daughter has already lied to, I feel terrible about. I lied to 1-2 myself and feel bad about it but they weren't famly members but are people I will see often still. I have been avoiding some people that ARE friends like the plague though they asked me questions and I put them off again and again until they left me alone. I also know some ancillary family members are aware of something going on, I just don't know how much because I have 3 brothers who know the whole story and were told not to share but 2 of the sister-in-laws cannot be trusted so who knows how much they've told. It's all very stressful and unfortunate. I shouldn't even have to worry about it except that I have my daughter's mental state to worry about and we've been avoiding large family gatherings and even changed churches a month ago because she could barely stomach people asking her anymore about where her brother has been. I know we can't shield her forever but she's barely making it and acting out horribly at school because of all of this. She has 6 weeks of a summer intensive to get through starting next week for her performing art and she needs to give it everything because she wasted a whole year already and is lucky they haven't cut her.
Any suggestions??????? All are welcome.