Whatever blows your skirt up

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Aug 28, 2007.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    HI family,

    Ever have one of "those" days? I woke this morning to mark yet another day off my calendar. difficult child is moving out tomorrow. For sure there is a group home that seems to think they are up to the challenge. HE will learn independent living skills there and go on to move into his own home. He simply can't come back to live with us. If he changed dramatically, got religion, and had a 100k a year job - he still couldn't come live with me again. Short of God descending on high, sitting in my living room (we keep an empty chair there for Him) and telling me "YOUR SON IS HEALED." aint gonna happen.

    I went to work today in a skirt. It's been so hot here, I thought as I stood in the closet looking at everything that a month ago was JUST THE RIGHT THING and today is JUST THE WRONG THING, and completely by accident I found a little black skirt. I matched it with a little black top. I slipped on my sandals and I looked professional, and yet cool enough to survive the heat. Off I went.

    Arriving at work I raised eyebrows. Never wore a short skirt before and by short I mean just to my knees ladies. Feelin' sassy, feeling young enough to pull off this outfit, I went to my office. I sat down in my mesh chair. I got up did a few things and got called to the boss' office. I threw my gum into the trash can from my door and headed out.

    After getting my assignments for the day, I sat back down in the chair, worked until noon and then decided to leave for lunch. I mean - couldn't waste all this physical being in a sack lunch right? So off I went....yes....I was going to go to the nice lunch place, sit down, enjoy the day. And what did I get?

    The mesh chair waffled the back of my legs and the water weight made it look like I had poison ivy rash. And that little wad of gum? I am SO not an LA Laker! Missed the trash can, landed in the mesh chair and just to the point where when I sat down it caught on the back of the chair, stuck to one panel of my 3 panel skirt and held in in place higher that a flag at a Friday night football game.

    As I gathered myself to leave, one of the men screeched out "MY GOODNESS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR LEGS?" and as I turned around to look back in my office - you guessed it. I managed to moon the rest of the onlookers now staring to see just WHAT WAS WRONG with the back of my legs.

    I'm going back to slacks and jeans, and Granny Gown skirts. Once I got a gander at the rash in the mirror...I'm sworn off short skirts. Or I could stand all day. I dunnoh but I thanked the SHRIEKER for pointing out to the entire office that I had sat my fat hind-end in a chair and the weight of my BIG SELF had actually waffled my thighs and part of my calves. I guess he had no comment about being mooned. Maybe he's never seen a moon like that, or maybe he's seen one, but it just looked larger up close ---in a skirt.

    Maybe tomorrow will be better. I'm wearing jeans.

    :nonono:
     
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Short of God descending on high, sitting in my living room (we keep an empty chair there for Him) and telling me "YOUR SON IS HEALED." aint gonna happen. </div></div>

    I don't know, Starb, God would have to agree to stay and supervise...

    I haven't worn my short skirt this summer either. L made sure that I knew that she feels I am too old...
     
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    She's back in full form, Ladies!

    Alright Star! Thanks for the great laugh!
     
  4. envisablepuppet

    envisablepuppet New Member

    Now I remember why I missed your posts so much Star :rofl:

    Welcome back :wink:
    Lea
     
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Star,

    I want to be you when I grow up.

    XO

    Bad Kitty
     
  6. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: OMG....I have tears streaming down my face. Thank you, thank you Lord for bringing our Star back. :bow:

    I can so imagine the waffle marks and the moon? oh yes the moon :smile:
     
  7. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :rofl: :rofl:

    ~Kathy
     
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I raise you one moon and bet a wad of toilet paper hanging down your tucked in skirt and pantyhose.

    LMAO.
     
  9. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    :rofl: :surprise: :rofl:

    Didn't know you before but sure glad you're back! Thank you. Needed a good laugh.
     
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I probably WOULD have gotten the toilet paper, but sorry to say I didn't put the moon in HANES. Nope, nope, nope....they all got the bare Waxing Gibbous, Mares hind quarters. Some days it just would be better if.

    I swear to all that is tastless, if someone puts an Eggo on my desk tomorrow, or brings a breakfast entre in a Waffle House to go carton I'm gonna go home.

    -And I'll take my Waffle with me.

    Glad you got a chuckle out of my day. Tomorrow the boy is moving. I'll need a good one then. Despite it all, I'm still his velcro Mom. If I'm a velcro Mom I can remove and reattach myself when I want. It won't be easy to see him leave in a State provided vehicle, with a caseworker and a stranger. Say a little prayer for us - would ja'.

    Thanks
     
  11. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    :rofl: One of a kind day.........unfortunately one of the kinds I have experienced.

    I will definitely say a prayer for you and your boy. Many hugs......
     
  12. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Star - only you could tell that story in such a way that we have streaming tears of laughter instead of sadness! LOL!

    Prayers going out to you and your difficult child tomorrow. I think he made it a bit easier for you to watch him leave this time. You just know it is the right thing for your household.
     
  13. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: *snort*

    Did you not notice a breeze?

    Now, if I managed to moon everyone there would be lots of screams of, "MY EYES!! MY EYES!!"

    Lots of hugs, good thoughts, and prayers for tomorrow.
     
  14. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Prayers going out for your son immediately.
     
  15. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Needed a laugh this morning---sorry if it was at your expense...Hope things go well today with the move. I wish mine would find somewhere to go...anywhere but my home!
     
  16. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Good thoughts for you today. May this placement stick better than the gum to your skirt.
     
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh my-add me to those laughing hysterically-I'm sorry it was one of those days. Prayers for your son today!
     
  18. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    :rofl: :rofl:

    Star, that's exactly the reason I haven't worn a dress/skirt since my wedding day. :wink: I only have bad luck with the darn things.

    Thanks for the chuckle. Saying a prayer for that awful moment with stardude.

    Hugs
     
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