WHEW, how did your TG go??? we survived I guess!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Nov 24, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Poor nana. My mom lives in a 55 and up building. We have reserved the dining hall for years and invited lots of people for Thanksgiving dinner. We had around 30 today. Q and I went early so he could just hang out and help a little in quiet. He did great. THEN people started arriving. As soon as he saw them he ran up to me and kneed me (not hard but just impulse stuff) and slapped my shoulder over and over, just too much energy and when I told him to be gentle of course he said no B... I just kept away from him and as people arrived he got more and more wound doing cartwheels, running circles around the tables, at times saying rude things but not over the top (well if any other kid would have said them I think they would have been in HUGE trouble, but no one over reacted. He did get in trouble when he asked why my sister was being a B to him... and I looked at him and he said she is so crabby to me, (she is) and I said to get his coat we are going. He asked why and I said you KNOW why.... he went up to my sister and said sorry. by the end of the time they were looking thru magazines and having fun so he was just trying really hard to get into the activity they were doing but it takes forever. Another sister just kept saying to me, give it an hour, you know it always takes an hour for him to settle in (though usually not this dramatic) and sure enough he did do pretty well. Mostly hung out with the little girls age 9 and 8. He did lots of running around outside which the residents dont like. And he kept moving a table taht was on the rocks for winter so the patio can be shoveled and a couple of the residents kept telling them to stop (the little girls told him to do it because it SHOULD be on the patio. None of them understood why they were not helping. the janitor lady got cross and finally I wen tup to her and the group outside who were smoking by the entrance and I said, look, you are going to have to just be patient. He is Autistic and is really stuck on that table. Before we leave everything will be put in its place. I mean it was over 55 here and there is no snow so no biggie. Plus it was the patio we reserved. She was just being a poop and stressing my mom out. another kid with autism was there and was throwing snow (a little bit stayed) at windows, Q was not but when his mom told him not to of course Q picked snow up and did it. sigh.

    It was just a night of that on and off. Transition at the end of the night was icky as usual but he did it and no big meltdown. Now home and he is perfect. Calm and happy. He just is so overwhelmed in large situations. But I can avoid most, not this... it means too much to me. I know I can always take him home and my family will help. They are all so patient, cousins, friends, aunts uncles, really love him and he gave them all hugs before we left. They were so glad to see him because they were worried and haven't seen him since the drama all began.

    I am mentally exhausted but it was not a disaster. Just probably my new life for a while.

    How did your TG day go??
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    We had a quiet dinner. difficult child if at Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and s2bx did get up to visit, I don't think he got to eat with difficult child but he made it. I know because the staff called to be sure out was ok that he was there and that the couple he was with could be there too. I will call in a bit and see how it all went. I think that this is the quietest holiday we have had ever.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Crazy, so glad s2bx didn't disappoint difficult child! I hope you find it went well when you call. It is nice to have a quiet time once in a while! Good to hear staff checked with you too. I like that.
  4. Chaosuncontained

    Chaosuncontained New Member

    Our went OK. Few bumps in the road, but nothing we couldn't "roll with". He actually ATE this year. Last year he was skinny and NEVER wanted to eat. This year he was 15+ pounds heavier (Thank you Abilify and Resperdone)...so he ate turkey, ham, mashed potatoes and a roll. No pie though.

    OH!! This year he ASKED to say the blessing over the food at his table (him and his 2 younger brothers). I was wary...but he did good. SO good that my Father-in-law said "That was good for me, dig in!"

    He is now watching a "little bit scary" movie and eating popcorn in the kids living room.

    My three oldest step kids and my 11 year old daughter/easy child are waiting at WalMart with my Mother-in-law for all those 10PM and 12:01AM sales.

    Pretty good day...not counting my Mother-in-laws dried out turkey LOL
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Reminds me of holidays past with Travis. No cursing or hitting........ok he would sometimes belt one of his sisters if he got too overly stimulated........but his was usually rocking or melting down completely in his own lil world. Holidays thrilled him, but they were the hardest days of the year for him. Bitter sweet.

    Sounds like you had a rather nice day considering. :)

    Ours is not until Saturday. Older now if over stimulated or overwhelmed Travis goes to his room. Aubrey, the little difficult child in the making.......can usually hold it fairly together at Nana's house. Because Nana has a rule, holidays are meant to be fun, so I don't let them force her to eat. If she doesn't eat (and often she's just too excited to eat), I fix her a bag of fairly healthy filling snacks for the trip home and Nichole takes leftovers. It was just not worth the screaming and bawling because she didn't want to sit still. Now she'd be great if I could just stuff a sock in her daddy's mouth for the entire day. lol
  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    So I talked to difficult child. He had a good day, liked seeing his dad. Wants to know when I can come up and just visit and hang out with him. sigh. That makes me sad, as it will be next weekend before I can do that.

    He is complaining that his back hurts from his bed at Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Says he is going to talk to his doctor about it. His dad has chronic pain issues, and I find it interesting that he is complaining after he saw his dad. He idolizes his dad, and wants to be just like him and knows dad has gotten attention for his pain. Who knows.

    easy child is going black friday shopping with her friend in Portland tomorrow. They will leave in the morning, and stay tomorrow night. I am glad she gets to go, but I wish I was able to do that with her. since I can't? I am glad she gets to go with her friend. She will have a ball.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Our dinner went well; we ate at my Mom's, went by Hubby's mom's house for a while, and came home. Miss KT and I rested a bit, and in about three hours, we're heading to Target!
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Buddy, all in all, I'm glad you were able to spend the day with your family and they are mostly good with difficult child. Hugs, you're such a great mom.

    Cm, glad stbx didn't disappoint. I hope the week flies by so get to spend some time with difficult child. A quiet holiday is nice once in a while, after all, it's just another day. Big hugs, your mommy heart needs them.

    Lisa I thought of you today and wondered how it was having your first thanksgiving without H. Hugs to you, youve been through a lot these past couple of months.

    Chaos, I'm glad your difficult child is eating this year! Yay!

    It was a very low-key day at brother in law's in Pittsburgh. He has a dog, so I go outside a lot and only sit in certain chairs but there is dog hair everywhere. mother in law doesn't shut the F up for one minute and she's getting on everyone's nerves, even h! Tomorrow we are sight seeing and on Saturday we leave. On the way home we are stopping in Johnstown to see my dads grave and my aunt, can't wait!
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    hmmmm sounds like those of us who so far have celebrated survived pretty well. Nice to hear.
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Ours went pretty well. difficult child was in rare form before we left to go to brother in law/sister in law's house, but once we got in the car he told me that he was sorry and that he was behaving like that because he was just so excited about going to Aunt T's house. Okay. Fine. We go and he was actually really good once we got there. difficult child ate well (he always does) but easy child did not eat alot. When you go to someone else's house the food is not the same as when your mom cooks it and he really didn't like the way she made alot of things. But he was good about it. Didn't make a fuss. Just ate what little he wanted and left the table.

    All in all, it was a good day. Now, I can (hopefully) relax and enjoy the rest of the weekend.
  11. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Ours was actually pretty relaxing. Last year, my D ran in a local charity race Tday morning and we wound up not starting to cook till noon. We ate after 7 PM and everyone was cranky and hungry. When D decided to do the run again, I suggested to H that we order a meal in. It was great. H didn't care for the store's gravy (I don't eat gravy) so he made his own and he didn't like the cranberry relish I ordered, so I opened a can of jellied for him and his mom. Other than that, we cooked nothing. We ate at 2:30 which was perfect for my 87 year old mother in law and my 90 year old aunt, who met for the first time and really liked each other. They want to spend more time together. They bonded over a mutual love of my kids and mutual dislike of my late dad (my aunt's younger brother). We finished eating around 4 and then sat around talking while people digested. We had dessert about 7 PM and sat around again until about 10 when H took everyone home. Oldest boy and his girlfriend stopped by for dinner, then went to her aunt's and to the movies. OB's two roommates stopped by for awhile before going to their uncle's for dinner. Even psycho difficult child sister in law was so incredibly pleasant that I actually meant it when I told her I'd enjoyed her visit! The only slight glitch was that difficult child (17) opted to eat by himself in the kitchen which upset D, who is home from college. I understand being overwhelmed by crowds so I was ok with it. difficult child was amazing with helping to get ready and with cleaning up afterwards. He scrubbed the tables off (the table we ate on was piled 3 feet high with H's files), set the tables and ran errands. I was so proud of him.

    Anyway, H and I have decided that we are catering in forever from now on. We will never cook again on a holiday.

    H, who usually does most of the cooking, actually had enough energy this morning to go fishing with a friend.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Bunny...OH that transition excitement thing... I get that! SO cool he pulled it together.

    Sven, wow that is amazing. what a great idea, sounds perfect for you. I just have to ask.... OB I assume is not your OB doctor? tee hee... I am trying to figure that one out. no underline.

    I love that your aunt and mother in law got along. yipee for sister in law being nice. (and I let mine go hide in a closet a few times during dinner too. gotta do what you gotta do sometimes) sounds like difficult child did great.
  13. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I think OB stands for "Oldest boy" she was talking about in the sentence just before that.
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    ok,,,lol, I'm a doofus
  15. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    easy child son and easy child gd arrived Wed. around 8 and we had taco's. Had a nice time but it was a late night before the TDay prep started early Thursday. Everything turned out fine. We ate at 2 and nobody wanted anything else to eat all day and evening. I'm still full this morning, lol. It was nice only having five of us but somehow it didn't lessen the prep...I swear the appetizers and sides take forever, lol, but it's nice to have leftovers for today and tomorrow. Glad you all had a nice holiday, too. DDD
  16. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Yes, it was VERY cool that he managed it. EVen my mother in law called me this afternoon to tell me that she thought the kids were so well behaved and that it was such a nice, quiet, and relaxing day for everyone (it;s never relaxing for me, but she chooses not to be aware of that part) and that she was so proud of them.

    We're at my house for Christmas this year, so I'm thinking that that day will be okay.

    Whew! I feel like I dodged a bullet.
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    ddd I love leftovers....best part.
  18. Renea

    Renea Member

    We survived the day as well! Actually, our Thanksgiving was pretty good. We are far from family so we went to a local amusement park and stayed until the place closed. difficult child and easy child had a blast!

    Buddy, I love that your family is mostly supportive and understanding towards your gtg. Half of our family is understanding and half is not. Those that are understanding are like gold to me.
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Quite the variety of experiences here ... from quiet, to over-55 bldg with-a wound-up kid, to an amusement park.
    Yes, Lisa, I hope it went okay. Holidays are difficult ...

    difficult child sat in the LR and watched TV and ate by himself, and got his own food from the kitchen. The noise from 12 people didn't bother him that way. People came in and out of his area and said hi, and hung out.
    Lots of food, lots of work, and miracle of miracles--difficult child and easy child both helped me 2 days in a row by vacuuming and washing and tidying up b4 everyone came.
    I got worried when difficult child asked if he could have pie the day b4, and I said "no," and he argued when I said it was specificially for Thanksgiving dessert, so when he wasn't looking, I hid them in the oven, hoping I wouldn't preheat it the next day and forget!
  20. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I've thought about trying that trick more than once... but knowing me, I would DEFINITELY forget...