17 Days. Major vent.....probably LONG

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mstang67chic, Apr 23, 2009.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    That's how long it's been since I sat in the ER with difficult child till this time. He showed up at the house today and was telling husband about his weird dreams, bad feelings, etc. and how he needs to be back in the hospital.

    You mean the hospital that got you feeling better because they MADE YOU TAKE YOUR medications????? THAT hospital?

    Huh. Imagine that. medications = feeling better.

    Oh wait, according to difficult child, no they don't. He still has the dreams and stuff when he's on his medications. Yeah, that really long time you took your medications after the hospital. What was it again? About 4 days? THAT does a lot of good.

    husband offered to take him to the ER on his (husband) way to class but difficult child said no. He "wanted someone there with him."

    Really? Because he told ME while we were waiting (after I got home from
    work and husband had gone on to class) that he just wanted me (or someone) there so he would have transport to the psychiatric hospital.

    I couldn't take sitting there a second longer and came home. I'm just so fed up and angry right now. No, it is most definately NOT difficult child's fault that he's mentally ill. BUT....after dealing with this for most of his 19 years, having it explained to him REPEATEDLY in an age appropriate manner and with more and more information as he got older, it IS his responsibility to deal with it, COOPERATE AND DISCUSS THINGS with his psychiatrist and do what HE needs to do to handle his OWN HEALTH.

    I really hope husband either gets out of class early or nothing is determined before he's out of class because I'm not sure, right at this moment, if I'm going back or not.

    Things haven't been going well for difficult child at his friend's house (where he's been living the past week) although I don't know what exactly that means. Could mean he and his friend had a falling out....could mean there are rules at that place too. Of course it could also mean that difficult child got a bug up his hiney about something and made another executive decision. ('Cause you know....we're his parents. We HAVE to take him back)

    I don't WANT him back here. He's completely non-compliant, behaves in a dismal manner and I don't trust him here by himself for many reasons. I know husband doesn't either but husband is also the one who says but...but...but.....he doesn't have any where to go...we need to get him through school (he's not going to class, he just wanders the halls and besides...he walked out AGAIN today) That man needs to wake up and realize that we've done all we can. difficult child has to do for himself somewhat AND he's a legal adult. We CAN'T do anything he doesn't want to do.

    Thanks for letting me vent.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Here's hoping that the ER is busy tonight and difficult child is low priority. Maybe sitting there on his own he will think about what he wants in life and start a plan? (I know, but you can dream)
  3. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Mustang - I'm just so sorry to hear this. Really and truly.

    I wish I knew the answer, how to get our kids invested in their own lives, but I just don't have a clue. And I'm just as aggravated as you are, with- my own kid - why, when they "have it under control" and "know what they're doing", why oh why oh why do they turn around and come to us when they've made another bad choice (usually one my kid has already made umpteen times already) and expect us to clean it up? Schlep up to the hospital, sit for hours upon hours when if he'd done what he was supposed to be doing in the first place, it'd be completely unnecessary.

    It's enough to make you nuts.

    I totally get the MI part - I understand it severely impacts his ability to think clearly. But when a kid can sit there and tell you exactly what he's supposed to do but keeps on not doing it.... what do you do with that?? And when they adamantly refuse supports that are sitting right in front of them? Sigh... I don't know, but I sure hope somebody figures it out soon because this merry-go-round is getting real old.

    A very gentle hug to you, hon.
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    No advice... just big supportive {{{hugs}}}.
  5. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Quick update....husband is at the ER with difficult child. He got out of class early so he went over there. He says difficult child is acting wierd and he will be really surprised if they don't admit him.
  6. ShyChelle

    ShyChelle New Member

    ((((big hugs)))) I completely relate. Sometimes it feels like I am continually running into a wall with my difficult child. Hopefully the ER will be a positive step that gets better. :)
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow. No words.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Just hugs.
  10. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Mstang, I think I have a matching scar on my forehead from banging my head against the same brick wall.

    I wish there was a magic key to unlock that capacity in our difficult children to get them invested in their own lives.

    Sending many hugs your way. Vent whenever you need to.

  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    OH THATS what that is.....I thought I was born that way it's been so long since I saw ANY definition to my forehead. :confused:

    Mustang -

    I'm here for ya! Get in the car - call my cell and go sit somewhere and just let it all out.....I'm a VERY good listener. lol.....2 ears.....and all!

    Waiting for an update....
  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Sorry I haven't updated sooner. husband didn't get home from the ER until around 2:30am....poor guy.

    They admitted difficult child under a 72 hour hold. What comes after? Who knows. Neither of us have heard anything since either. Since difficult child was committed, the sheriff's dept. handles the transport so husband wasn't there at admit to get a patient number for difficult child. We won't have one unless difficult child either calls or has one of the staff call and without it, we can't get any information on difficult child. I don't even know for sure if he's in the adolescent or adult ward. (At this psychiatric hospital they will still place patients in adolescent unit after 18 if the patient is still in high school)

    I have some things to do tomorrow and I think I'll include going to the local beauty college and getting a pedicure. I've never had one before and this seems like as good a time as any.
  13. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Stang, I think a pedicure is a wonderful idea. If you can squeeze in a manicure while you're there, I highly recommend it.
  14. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I still may do that...I actually texted you from the ER yesterday but I think it was too long and didn't go through. (snort...imagine that) For now I'm just kind of on power down mode. Last night I was ticked and going off...today...eh. My mom called me last night not knowing what was going on. After I told her, she tried to get my mind off things but the poor woman....all she did was get on my nerves. My cousin called a little later and for whatever reason SHE managed to get me laughing. Probably because we're more like sisters and sisters are good for that kind of thing.

    Trinity....you read my mind! LOL
  15. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Another update.

    husband just texted me difficult child's patient code and I called to check on him. He's in the adult unit and is being cooperative but quiet. He is asking about where he goes from there and seems to think there is already a placement set up. We had talked to him about a group home placement but nothing was done officially yet. He seems to think though, that since he was admitted on a 72 hour, that it's an automatic placement.


    I told the staffer about this and she's supposed to talk to the social worker to see if they can help him get something set up.

    I also told her to mention to the doctor that difficult child doesn't seem to grasp that he has to be on his medications for a length of time before he will see a big difference. 10 days just won't cut it.