This is my first time on here but I am coming here to get help dealing with my 5 year old we just found out about 3 months ago that he has ADHD and ODD and we have been running a uphill battle now for 2 years and we have now got an answer to why I feel like just running away from him all the time and I feel like none of my friends can help me because none of them are dealing with what I am going through and I just need someone that can help me out and let me know that I am not the only one so please someone help me with this wonderful boy that has somehow gotten lost in life’s many challenges


Active Member
Welcome. I'm sorry you had to find us but if you have to struggle with this you can do it knowing you aren't alone. We've all known some truly desperate days and many of us can offer hope that things will get better.

The first thing I would suggest is to get a copy of the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene and read the thread about adapting it to young children at the top of this board. Many of us have had a lot of success by changing strategies to those outlined in the book.

What kind of specialist diagnosed your child? I ask because ADHD/ODD is often a partial diagnosis of some other condition.

Andrea Danielle

New Member
Hi, just wanted to welcome you to the site. I am sure you will find a lot of help here by reading posts in the archives, links to other sites and through all of the great advice from people who are going through the same thing. Hang in there!



New Member
Hi there. I know EXACTLY how you feel and what you are going through. My 5 year old was also diagnosed with ADHD & ODD last May. I have known that there was something wrong since he was 3 but everyone kept telling me "it's just a phase". Don't listen to them if they are telling you that - mother's know their children better than anyone. I am a true believer of that. Anyway, don't lose hope. After spending months with a psychologist and having him placed in a Section 504 program at Kindergarten there has been no significant improvement. If anything the behavior got worse so on the advice of our neurologist we are starting medications tomorrow. We are starting out on the lowest dosage 5 mg of Focalin XR. It's not ideal but I think it will be the best thing not only for him but for my family as well. If I don't at least try I will never know if it can help him. Hang in there. You definitely have friends here who can relate. Good luck and stay in touch.
it's so nice to hear someone else with the same issues because i feel like i am so haning by a thread that's breaking by the min we started my son on medication's about 2 1/2 months ago he is on Adderall and at first it really seemed like it was working he started sleeping better and attatude was getting better and now it seems like nothing is working i feel like things get better and then bad again i just want that happy little boy that was such a joy to be around i really miss liking to be around him now i feel like i just want to run away all the time i never get a break from dealing with him i love him so much but man oh man he is a hard kid to like all the time i don't know if you feel like that but jsut having someone to vent to that is kida going throught the same time and can relate to is so relaxing so thank you


New Member
Welcome to the group :smile: Life is very difficult with a kid such as ours. We feel your pain, know it first hand.

We had no success with Adderall so I'm no help to you there. Here are a few questions for you if you don't mind answering.

Is there a history of any type of mental disorder in the extended family?
How does he do in other situations such as school?
Are there triggers that set off the behaviors?

If you get the chance you may want do a signature profile so that will help us get to know you a little better. You will find the instructions on the main index of the board, then go to the FAQ section.



New Member
I too understand your challenges. Wow, it is sure nice to know we are not alone. 5mg of Focalin is just getting started. My 4yo difficult child is on 40 mg and she only weighs 34 pounds!!! Just some info about Focalin. It works great for our other difficult child but the psychiatrist was explaining some things for us. Focalin has only a four hour release and it releases in a kind of bell curve. Even Focalin XR works the same but if it is a 10 mg XR it is releasing only 5 mg every four hours but because of the bell curve there are periods of highs and lows. Concerta XR has a pump system within it that gives medication over a much more even keel. For us though I children didn't respond to Concerta. It is all a trial and error process. Just keep trying to you find something that works.


New Member
Hi There --

I'm a newbie as well and stumbled onto this forum while trying to find help for my own 5 year old ADHD/ODD son. It's nice to know that there are others who are also pulling on their remaining hairs (that have undoubtedly turned gray) while looking upward in search of an answer. My son was diagnosed last April and to date he has been expelled from 3 daycares, 1 summer camp, Pre-K and last month the only after school program I could afford. As a full-time working single parent, staying at home is not an option. After many evaluations and a lot of paperwork, my medical carrier has finally given me the green light for him to see a child psychiatrist, who has prescribed Dexadrine (15mgs in AM, 5mgs after lunch). I'm hoping (more like praying) that the medications will invoke improvement so that I will be able to also incorporate behavorial strategies as well. Right now nothing, and I mean nothing, is working. Don't get me wrong, I love that little boy with all my heart and he is as smart as a whip, but after a full day of work (oh, did I mention that my lunch hour is spent picking him up from school and taking him to my mother's every day....afterschool expulsion) dealing with him can be down right exhausting. But, he's a great kid between the episodes and I know he's going to make me very proud some day ..... hopefully I'll still be on this side of the grass when that day comes (smile).

Sorry there's no bio on the bottom, I haven't quite figured out the abbreviations yet.


Mom? What's a difficult child?
Please let us know if he is in any therapy like Occupational Therapist (OT) or play therapies??? My difficult child is also 5 and we just got the final diagnosis of BiPolar (BP)-not otherwise specified with everything else that goes along with that... It is horrible to know that something is wrong with your child but it helps SO much to know it isn't YOU!!! There is hope. We all understand we don't always agree with each other but we are here to help each other.
My difficult child is going to start Risperdal as soon as we get home from our trip to Chicago to get her diagnosis'd. We are still here until sunday. So I don't know much about medication's.

My difficult child is in Occupational Therapist (OT) and will be stating a play/social therapy when we get back. She loves the Occupational Therapist (OT), it has been amazing.

You might let us know all of the signs/symptoms your difficult child has shown now and in the past.

Mine is extremely defiant,violent,sensory-sensitive,depressed,hyper,obsessed with death, anxious etc.... she is a time bomb. and never consistent.
Needless to say it is very tiring, and hard on our whole family...

Hang in there. We are here and really do understand... :hammer:


New Member
Hello Totoro --

Thank you for your reply. I agree it is horrible to know something is wrong but there is a sense of relief in the discovery of it's identify. It provides a starting point, a reference from which, at least, a course of action can be plotted (and I think there are going to be a lot of plots on my map). I will have to elaborate on his behavior/treatment later today as I am now at work and will soon have to make my lunch run (oh I do wish there was such a thing as frequent driver miles...I'd be able to circle the globe at least twice.)

Once again, thank you for your kind words of support.


New Member
I was in the same position a few months ago, a child psychiatrist gave us Focalin for my 5yo. psychiatrist never really did a full evaluation either. The Focalin just made his outbursts worse!! His frustration/anger tolarance disappeared. I've come to find out with a lot of research and education, that the rule of thumb should be that any mood disorders be ruled out before starting a stimulant, because stimulants will cause mood disorders to get worse. We're just starting a trial of Limctal.

Just wanted to share my experience. I don't like the idea that doctor's are throwing out the ADHD diagnosis and starting stimulants, with a destructive result on the child!!