6 hours at emergency room yesterday waiting for...

[guest3]

6 hours at emergency room yesterday waiting for an emergency psychiatric consult, because difficult child II had incident at school and said those 5 damaging words "I want to kill myself". They insist I take him or he could not return to school. Why is it everyone else but us knows what is best for our kids? My son was exposed to a bunch of stuff yesterday, he had 3 meltdowns while we were there but the Dr. who saw him 6 hours later for a whole 20 minutes did not see them. One turkey sandwich and $675.00 later....... how was that the best thing for him?

 

[BusynMember]

It's always best, in my opinion, to have a child checked out who threatens to kill himself. We've always done that. You never know, unfortunately. It's hard to know when they're frustrated, just venting, or really mean it. JMO. I don't believe the school is allowed to take something like that lightly. Not sure, but I don't think so.

 

[missdot]

<span style="color: #00CCCC"> </span> <span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'> </span> Totally understand that. My son had the very same thing happen to him 2 years ago. We spent I don't know how many hr in emergency room, I had to leave work, school said that he had to go. When he came back they put him in their in house Alternative Ed program. Took me over a year to get him out of that. Schools are not fooling around...........and I don't always agree. But how do you fight the school?

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Unfortunately, the school is liable if something is said by someone while at school. In light of Columbine, V-Tech, and others like it, schools do not mess around. If someone makes a death threat at school, whether to themselves or another, it is treated VERY seriously.

 

[guest3]

That's true, I mean I was looked at like a moron because I told them he always says, "I want to kill myself" when he gets upset and angry. I guess I am heartless for this, I mean I tell him not to say it, but he's on to the next thing 10 minutes after he does say it, there are no signs of him neaning it.

 

[guest3]

But Plan A nor Plan B prevent him from saying it this is my problem, sigh...............

 

[timer lady]

If I had to take kt or wm to the ER every single time they screamed "I want to die - I wish I were dead", I'd still be sitting there with excessively gray hair, drooling & talking incoherently. :hammer:

While a statment like this should be taken seriously, there needs to be common sense along with it. You, alone know your difficult child. If you believe this is a "attention" getter than a better plan needs to be implemented.

All in all, it sounds like you need a more viable crisis plan in place.

I understand school not wanting to be liable - common sense needs to come into play. wm learned very early that screaming these words got him all sorts of attention - he was the furthest thing from suicide anyone had every seen. (Won't discuss aggression toward others here.)

I hope things are better tomorrow.

 

[Lothlorien]

Is this going to help you in any way to getting services set up faster?

 

[realangel]

difficult child has been using this tactic since he was about 5 or 6 to get out of doing things or to get attention.

His school has never told me they have concerns about it, mainly because they probably hear it every day from most of the kids in his school! (they all have some kind of behavior disorder).

I think if they told me to take him to the hospital for saying it i would tell them thats what he wants cos then he could get more time off school.

I found its normally said as a 'shock tactic' and means nothing.

 

[jannie]

We have to do the same thing as well. We do have a mental health clinic that can be used instead of the hospital and I believe it is free.

Also, if a child is working with a p-doctor he/she can go there instead of the emergency room and the p-doctor can approve return to school. I know it is frustrating. My child used to say it as well. I know he didn't mean it, but I had to believe that he was feeling sad and frustrated.

I would be so upset if I had to spend all that money !!!

Sorry=

 

[guest3]

thank you today is a new day, but I feel like I have been punched in the gutt from the last week. difficult child II is still worse, partially I think he is really worse because now he feels empowered after the DYFS incident. Last night his words to me as he was saying "F*&^ you Mom" were, "what are you going to do about it?" in the past he would be punished, he says to me "one phone call mom, and I'll have you sitting in a jail cell" I am feeling very VERY depressed and frustrated over this. And d/h has been looking for apartments so I am thinking he plans on leaving me alone with these kids, sigh......................

 

[timer lady]

Okay, difficult child needs to get over it! Let him make the darned phone call - jail is respite for goodness sake.

Sweetie, you cannot let difficult children threats of calling child protection get in the way of parenting your difficult child. If difficult child chooses not to follow the daily rules of the household & he is consequenced that's life. If he picks up the darned phone to call - you dial the number.

You cannot be held hostage to this sort of behavior. Simply not worth it - your emotional well being, along with the need to nurture your marriage & keep your other child safe is paramount.

Caving in to difficult child's antics or reacting like you are helpless simply adds to his already high sense of control.

 

[guest3]

thank you I am just literally "afraid" (of losing him) and "unnerved" and "exhausted" and I have had the school psychologist telling me all week what I should be doing and how he's not that bad and yadda yadda and when I say "he is that bad" I am told well it must be something at home, it's like "thanks lady, maybe you should come live here, so you can see I am not dellusional" of course the neighbor he assaulted with a bat believes me and the sunday school teacher he went after knows what I am saying, soooooooooooooo I know I need to put my violin away and armour up for another day, I am so thankful for all of you guys on these boards .

 

[DammitJanet]

You cannot give in to the threats of a kid calling cps. I would offer to call them for him. Do remind him though that it will be HIM that will be removed not you.

 

[guest3]

UPDATE

difficult child II has been going to school this week, and is still off the wall, but is managing to avoid any major trouble so far, I am just praying he'll make it through the week without another incident. I don't know how some of you work FT jobs and deal with this I work PT and thye're normally understanding but it's way busy right now and they're starting to be like "we need you here" sigh....................................

 

[Just keep swimming]

Hi,

FWIW, I think Timerlady said it best! Your cannot allow your child to "run the show" so to speak. He got results from saying those words, I am thinking, if he is in therapy, therapist needs to address this issue with the utmost care and seriousness. Kids see other kids getting carted away by police or ambulances from school and think "wow, that's kinda cool". He needs a total reality check that if he uses those words towards himself or others, consequences WILL happen and they won't be a positive reward.

I know you are doing what you need to be doing, but your difficult child needs a major wake up call!

Hugs to you!!!!
Vickie