So I just found this place today, I'm so glad that I did, so I figured I'd just jump right in and post because as much as I appreciate my friends offering their support I just want someone who can relate and goes through this struggle with me. So to start out, my son has had issues with defiance and hyperactivity since he started preschool. In preschool he was screened for an iep and had one for that year until he improved. Around that time he was living with his dad but I had him regularly so he had consistency. He was a little more violent towards others then, where he had at one point stabbed my youngest in both hands with a nail file when he was just learning how to pull himself up because he didn't want him touching the toys he had on the coffee table. About 2 weeks after his 5th birthday his dad committed suicide and the responsibility was then all mine and I feel like I am failing miserably. The Summer after he turned 5 he had given two children at his day care bloody noses within 15 minutes of eachother and the next day he pushed a kid down the stairs and almost broke another kid's leg. I had no one to turn to then and basically got the blame that "I need to learn how to discipline my child." His kindergarten year was a little rough but he got through it with minimal problems. His 1st grade year he did get suspended quite a bit for violent outbursts in the classroom, failure to participate, elopement, etc. He started seeing a therapist and got in to an after school group therapy program which seemed to help a little. At one point we tried medication but the side effects caused him to start threatening suicide, and what 7 year talks about killing them self? We are now in his 2nd grade year and he's 8. He sees his therapist once a week, we have family therapy twice a month, he is in a special connections classroom that focuses on behavior and coping skills, his school days are abbreviated so at 2pm he gets picked up and taken to group therapy, he also has a case manager that he sees once a week. Recently his behaviors have started escalating again to the point that his classroom at group therapy has to be evacuated for their safety and at school he has to be removed from the classroom and put in a deescalation room and a notice for safety intervention must be sent home and it's considered a form of restraint. I'm starting to get really discouraged by everything that is happening to him. He has to be in control all the time, but it's just not possible and it's a big issue. Friday we have an appointment at the medication clinic where his therapist, case manager, and school have provided all sorts of documentation to help get him on the best medication for him. I guess I'm just wondering, will it work? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? I'm getting so frustrated but have been doing my very best to stay calm and patient with him while we figure this out. He does not like himself and I don't like having thoughts that I just don't like him either. He's my first and I feel like I really screwed him up. I just want to know, is there hope? Will we make progress? Or is his future bleak? And what have others done in this situation that have seen a major turn around? Our main goal is to get him back in to a regular classroom setting. Thanks for reading this long post and for the help!