a "family Problem", she said it again!



So Militant SW called today to let me know that difficult child II is being released from day therapy on Monday. She has spoken to his counselor and at home therapist and I need to know they all are one the same page and this is a "family problem" (which is bologna). Then she proceeds to admitt that difficult child II still goes from 1 - 10 (skipping all numbers in between) and over reacts to the smallest of stressors. Well if it's a "family problem", why does it still happen when he's everywhere else? And I need to accept that I will have to call the police when he crosses the line. This is what my $$$$ get's me?

When I as ask about the cognitive distortion, she again blames it on the stressors at home. difficult child II in 1st grade started blowing up in class at school (not home), hitting himself in the head and crying and screaming, this is what started the whole process of "there is a problem". Does this lady ever think that difficult child II may have caused some of these "stressors"? I have always held to consequences and rewards, I am not a yeller (ok well sometimes, but usually no) d/h is intense but rarely involved anyways. I have done everything and anything and it's not like I am in denial that there's a problem here! It's not like the kid is being raised in a crack house where there's physical abuse, but no it's a "family problem"

sorry venting, if d/h was not an alcoholic, would she stills say this? I am also offended that she keeps insisting my "anxiety" affects difficult child II. You try to be honest about things and they turn it around on you and there you go a "family problem"

sorry venting....good riddens militant SW come Monday! :grrr:


Active Member
Oh boy..........I might have lost it on her lil rear right there! :devil:

Really who do these people think they are? Do they have difficult children at home..........Noooooooooo.....I am sure they think their kids are perfect because they are perfect parents........yeah, right!
Oh my, do not even get me started!

So sorry you have had wacko SW from the West......hoping next week brings some peace.


Well-Known Member
I'd just let her babble go in one ear and out the other. I've had so many social workers, therapists, and psychologists myself, and all they do is spew their opinions. This is their theories, not carved-in-stone truths. If you MUST deal with her, just nod and think about something else when she's talking because it's not you or your home. If there is turmoil in the house, that isn't helpful, BUT your child is wired differently and is reacting because of that, in my opinion. I've learned from twenty years of dealing with talk therapists of all stripes that they aren't authorities. They bring a lot of their own personal junk to the table. I even worked for a psycology group for about a year. They were more messed up than their patients. One was a drug addict. I wondered how any of them could give out advice when their own lives were such a mess. Take care.

house of cards

New Member
It is insulting to be blamed for the situation when you know how hard YOU have worked to help it, I can hear your frustration. It is a hard knock to the ego but even more important, it gets them sidetracked from really helping. What do THEY plan to do about the "family problems" that will help difficult child????


New Member
For me, this is one of those "let it go" things. Like MidwestMom, I've heard everything from it's all the fault of bio mother to it's the fact I'm a single parent to it's all my fault my daughter is the way she is. Um, no, it is a combination of environmental factors plus some loose wires in my daughter's brain. I was once ordered to take a parenting class. When the class was over the instructor asked me if I would like to teach a class on how to parent a truly difficult child.

It is easy to blame the environment and say that if the environment were fixed, the child would be all fixed. I wish it was that easy.

Like this board, take what you think fits from each "professional." Use what you can. Ignore the rest. There are more important things to fret over.


Active Member
Hi! Bottom line: she's full of prunes. What you might want to do is find out her qualifications for working with kids that have the disabilities that ours have. We were doing counciling for almost 6 mos. with NO results. I finally lost my patience and spoke to the supervisor and stated my issues. Basically: anyone can read a textbook or plug behaviors into a search engine on the web and mix that with family history and come up with a "blame" scenario. Why wasn't she working from the official diagnosis and work with the issues at hand.

Just about everyone in this life can describe their family life as "disfunctional". Heck, my family chose to put the "fun" back in "dis<u>fun</u>ctional" and get on with life. That being said, our kids aren't capable of doing that. Who cares who's to blame IF ANY!

We ended up with a new therapist who had the appropriate training to work with us.

You're paying the bill...if you feel that she's creating a problem (ie: giving you more stress with the sanctimony she's handing out!) rather than helping, escalate!



New Member
is it possible sw meant that it is a family problem in that it affects the whole family? as in having one family member who is so symptomatic does affect the rest of the familys day to day life?


is it possible sw meant that it is a family problem in that it affects the whole family? as in having one family member who is so symptomatic does affect the rest of the familys day to day life?

Nope she specifically said it's not difficult child II's "problem" it's a "family problem:"

How irritating. I'm so sorry.

Do you at least have a good plan in place after discharge?

This morning she could not understand why I am leary of placing him in a main stream summer camp. She says he needs opportunities to fail in order to succeed, of course it is not her who will be sued when difficult child II tackles a camp counselor or worse another camper. sigh..............

Discharge seems like it will mean me being out of work to be home with difficult child II.
You know, that still could sound like what she meant is that GFGII is acting out due to problems with the family at home. In other words, if the family issues were resolved, he might not be acting out so much.

Not defending her, I'm just saying.