a good day


New Member
I don't only want to post when things are bad and I hope it's okay to share my good day with you all.
After months of feeling all at sea and powerless and hopeless, I found your website and kept visiting and reading, while my son started pschotherapy. I got more of an idea about what I was dealing with and read 'The Defiant Child', which helped me greatly to get 'back on top' and be Alex's parent again (rather than a victim of his manipulations).
Anyway, today was so nice - I almost want to cry. Alex was polite, helpful (he dressed his little sister and played with her, he made me coffee..) I let him go to the local shop on his own as he was being so mature - he came back with a bird, yes a bird (a swift or something - it's got wings and a beak - that's as far as my knowledge goes...) on the palm of his hand. The bird has a broken wing we think, otherwise it's ok and showed no signs of distress on A's hand. He said some boys were around it throwing stones so he rescued it (now we know he fantasizes about defending the planet but we let that slide just in case it was true!!)The vet was shut - so Alex asked if he could nurse it - we'll go to the vets tomorrow. He was so genuine and tender over this bird, I of course said yes. It stands on his shoulder while he holds an upturned bottle top full of water for it to drink from.
I took him and his little sister swimming - he was supporting her, teaching her how to swim. AND he's brushed his teeth without being stood over and threatened with the prospect of false teeth at the age of 17...
I saw my baby boy again, and I remembered how much I love him. I know this probably won't last, but what a gift!!
We LOVE good posts. They are few and far between.

So happy for you to have enjoyed this! Journal it, and you will always have it to look back on (this was advice I received here after one of my very good days).


Active Member
It is important to keep your own records. It not only keeps your spirits up on difficult days but it can give you pointers to help get the good days back.

I hope the bird is OK. A broken wing in a bird is a very difficult thing to fix. I'm wondering, since the bird seems so tame, if it was a pet that got out? Or a tame wild bird that, because it was tame, strayed too close to those boys who were attacking it. We have tame parrots here among the wild ones, probably tamed through hand-feeding. Sometimes one will land on my clothesline and :censored2: its head at me, as if asking for some food. And our white cockatoos - I think they're hatched to be as bold as brass, I can't shoo them away even when they're attacking the roses! They just stare at me and raise their crests. If they fly away it's only a few feet while they wait until I leave so they can come back and continue tearing plants to pieces.

A bird's wing bones are hollow, they actually use the air spaces in the wing bones as part of their lung system. The vet may have to put the bird down, or he may have to amputate part of the wing. If he has to amputate, then difficult child has a responsibility laid on him. Will he be able to take it on, do you think?


timer lady

Queen of Hearts
Thanks for sharing something positive - it does a mom's weary soul good to recognize the positive behaviors in our children, if only for a day.

Keep up the good work. :warrior:

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
What a wonderful post! Hang on to those positives and cherish them!! May he have many more great days ahead. :smile:


New Member
Update on the bird(!); took it to the vet who told us it was a baby who had probably fallen from its nest - no broken bones just can't fly yet. Vet told Alex what to feed the bird and that he had to do it every 4 hours - he came down for an alarm clock beaming and said 'I'm being responsible for something!' Bless...
All the way, since he turned up with it, I have constantly stressed that if it was poorly, it would be kinder to put it down - Marguerite, I told him what you said about the bird's bones - luckily he already knew and understood so thanks for the info - he relates better to facts - they help to make hard emotional decisions easier for him. If he can rationalise or prepare for emotion he's okay. Now I am constantly saying that the day will come when it's strong enough to fly away and that will be the sign that Alex has looked after him really well, so he feels the loss is a sign of success - we'll see how he copes with this.
P.S I think the vet thought we were all mad...