Well, today was one of those days where you know something serious has changed.........and even though you may have worked on it for months, years or even decades, when the change actually occurs, you are blown away........... My daughter texted me at my office today to ask me if I would mind picking her up and driving her to the bank and then to her job. It's no big deal, it's about a 15 minute drive, so I said, "sure." I said, "I have an appointment so you'll have to be ready to go, I can't hang out waiting for you." I then called and made my appointment 1/2 hour later (learned behavior from years of waiting since her perception of time and mine are two very distinctly different things, so I took care of ME) I get to the house where she is staying. It's raining. There is an 8 foot fence around the property. She and a guy are on the other side of the fence and I hear her say, "Mom, is the padlock on the outside fence locked?" I see the lock, on the outside of the fence and sure enough it is locked. She is then hoisted up and jumps over this high fence. I am 4 feet away in my car watching this. She runs over in the rain and asks me to pop the trunk. The guy on the inside begins throwing bags to her over the fence. I thought to myself, "how weird is this, an almost 42 year old woman hopping a fence, where the lock is on the OUTSIDE! And someone I can't see is throwing her stuff over the fence." I started to laugh out loud. I didn't ask about why the lock was on the outside. (more learned behavior) She gets all her stuff in my car and we take off. We go to her bank and then I have to stop at my bank. I run in and leave her in the car and say, "I'll be right out." I am in the bank for maybe 3 minutes. I come out, the doors to my car are unlocked, my purse, her purse and everything she carries with her is in my unlocked car, but she is not in it. She is nowhere to be seen. I am standing next to the drivers side door looking for her in the rain. I thought, "did the police pick her up on that warrant and whisk her away in 3 minutes with no fanfare, just...........gone? Is she hiding behind the bank smoking a cigarette." She's gone. I am perplexed. After a good 5 minutes, I got back in the car and was deciding if I should stay or leave, she comes running across the street. She jumps in the car and says, "I got a sandwich, I haven't eaten since yesterday." Again, I just smiled. She tells me she doesn't know where she is sleeping tonight, she didn't get her food stamps due to some form she didn't fill out, her boss is garnishing her wages because she borrowed money from him, so she is working but not getting paid...........on and on. Instead of getting worried, feeling like I had to do something, enabling, judging, lecturing, crying, feeling resentment, or any of the many, many reactions I have had and could have now, I listened to her, really listened and said nothing. Then when she began eating her sandwich in the car, I began telling her about ME and what I am doing. She listened. She commented. She was encouraging and supportive. I drove her to work. She unpacked her stuff. I asked if she was coming for Thanksgiving. She said, yes. She came over to the car and hugged me, really tight.......and very softly, with a lot of feeling, she said. "I love you Mom, thanks for everything." I said, "I love you too. She has no idea where she is going to sleep tonight. She doesn't have money for food. She didn't ask me for anything. There was no drama. She seemed okay with all of it. She seemed to know how to do it. She seemed okay with her life. And.............. so was I. I watched her go in. I smiled. She's living the life she has chosen. And, she's making it. Maybe minute to minute, maybe not the way I would do it, but she is making it. I drove away and started thinking about dinner. No residual negative feelings. In fact, I simply left her physically and emotionally. Half way to my appointment, I realized how the interaction had gone. By the time I got home and saw my husband, I had begun to recognize how much has changed in the last 3 years.......how today marked some kind of subtle breakthrough onto an entirely new landscape......I think the landscape is acceptance.......and presence, here in the moment....... When I told husband about it, I was filled with love for my daughter, for her ability to live the life she does............and I felt peaceful and joyful and so grateful that we've moved through so much......... so very......very much..........to get here. It was a very good day.