difficult child called last night distraught, in tears, amp'd up. Can't really blame him --- he unexpectedly ran into one of the abusers (every kind of abuse) from his youth last night at an AA meeting. The worst one -- the one whose actions caused him to be brought into foster care and, ultimately, into our family. difficult child has not seen this person since he was 5, but, as you can imagine, memories and feelings came racing back. He wanted to assault the abuser. difficult child confronted the abuser and "had it out" verbally, but did not assault him. Abuser knew who difficult child was. Abuser said bizarre, nonsense things to difficult child. difficult child was even taken aback by abuser's appearance. difficult child fled, very distressed......wanting to use. Instead, difficult child called us and begged to come stay with us last night as we are some of the only clean and sober people he knows. We agreed. He did not use last night (that I know of). His emotions were real, understandable, and overwhelming. We had a good night with difficult child last night and he seems better today -- though still all jumbled up inside, saying he's edgy. We're very proud of difficult child for not assaulting the abuser, but leaving. This is NOT difficult child's normal response. This is a huge step in maturity for him.....especially given running into the abuser. And, honestly, we're pretty proud of difficult child's step forward into maturity. Adding hate to hate doesn't help. Adding crime to crime doesn't help. Only adding light to dark helps. We did have a good night last night. difficult child asked to stay a few days (3-4?). We discussed it for hours last night, laying down boundaries for this 3-4 day stay. He agreed to the boundaries. We haven't spent 3-4 days together with difficult child in years (like at least 5 yrs). Not sure how it'll go. Here's the thing, though...... As much as I'm hoping and gaining some trust back for difficult child, I'm still vigilant and believe only what I see. And, honestly, I'm a little hesitant to have him here for 3-4 days. He's been fine.....IN THE PRESENT. But I have so, so, soooooo many memories of THE PAST. I do not want to recreate old scenarios or patterns. difficult child, husband and I spoke very openly about this all last night. Told him everything I'm telling you all here. He heard us and seemed surprised at the degree of downright PTSD we felt (and, to some degree, still carry in us) that he inflicted on us over the years. Is that legit surprise? Strange place to be. Hmmmm.... difficult child said he feels conflicted about our relationship. I'd have to say, in fairness, so do husband and I (feel conflicted about difficult child). We spent all those years hoping for him. Then we spent all those years erecting HUGE boundaries around us. Now we still have the boundaries (will always have some), but feel hope creeping in bit by bit. Feel a little like a blender is mixing all of those emotions together inside me. Want to retain the best in my humanity, while still promoting the best in difficult child's humanity. difficult child requested to go to a special church thing with us tonight. We go in an hour or so. difficult child requesting to go to church....this is definitely a switch.