Aaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...a vent.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mstang67chic, Jul 28, 2009.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    There are times when I absolutely cannot stand to hear difficult child breathe let alone speak. Right now....I'm deep in the middle of one of those times. It's kind of stupid actually because it isn't really caused by anything's just the same old, same old and usually relatively minor things.

    His mouth lately....omg. EVERY little thing out of it is said in this snippy, superior tone, anything husband or I say is met with a "you're a total idiot" shake of his head and attitude.

    He asked if I would take him and his cousin D to the Y for open swim. That wasn't a problem...yeah he's been a bit mouth but he really needs to get out of the house for both our sakes so I took them. We picked D up and on the way to the Y, D asked difficult child why he had an eraser on his ear. Turns out, difficult child lost the back to his earring and used an eraser chunk. I told difficult child in a normal tone of voice that he'll want to take it out before getting in the pool. He said it would be fine and I assumed he meant his ear. I explained that if the earring came of while he was swimming, it could damage the filter and he should really take it out. He has this head shake (mentioned earlier) that he does when we tell him something he thinks is incredibly stupid and that's what I got. That was it....I'd had it. I pulled over to the side of the road and while I didn't YELL, I lit into him pretty good. I basically said that I was so sick of this "you are a total idiot" attitude when I (or husband for that matter) tells him something and that I've had it. We don't tell him these things to hear ourselves talk...blah blah blah blah blah. You know that speech, right?

    Yesterday I went off on him because he shut one of the dog's tails in his door. I know he didn't mean to but it WAS his own fault. I heard him giving the dogs some of his food (which I remind him NOT to on a daily basis) so I was herding the dogs out. He went to close his door but wasn't paying the least bit of attention and before I could get one word out, the door was shut on Cloe's tail. I. WENT. OFF. Of course I got a lot of "it wasn't my fault", "it was an accident", "I didn't have my glasses on's dark...." Yeah well PAY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!! On my part it was an overreaction but at the same time, he just didn't understand how HE could have done anything different.

    I swear...there are times when I think he is INTENTIONALLY stupid. To be anything else or actually be aware of his surroundings would take some EFFORT on his part and he doesn't do that. But's NEVER his fault. Ever. I've dealt with this bull for so many years that I've turned in to the raving banshee because I've had it. I refuse to be patient with someone who refuses to try. I refuse to do more than what is absolutely necessary. I'm done.


    If you made it through my insane, PMS filled're either really good or really bored. Either way, thanks!

    (And the next group get together? Let's make it for a week, shall we? :tongue: )
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    LOL Yup, a week. With lots of sun, sand, and wine - no difficult children. At all.

    I know this sounds awful, but Onyxx was begging me to pick her and a friend up from a mall that is a little further away than the one she's banend from. But I have to pick up her medications after work, then take her and Jett to the field so the batcave gets her #$%^&*() visit. So I said no, told her why. Got a WHINY text back, but you can get us after work... She got lit into text-wise: I DON'T HAVE TIME.

    Why is it that difficult children seem to think we're on this planet to fulfill their every whim? Last night she asked us about 2 different concerts this week. One was Warped Tour. But the tickets are only $35 each! Oh yeah. That's two minimum. That's $70 plus gas plus parking and food and drinks and NO. I just took the girl to CLEVELAND for goodness' sake!

    I am so not trying to hijack this thread but it looks like it doesn't it?!

    So yeah, I understand. And I did make it through the whole thing, you just sound frustrated! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Sounds like you've been living in my house....

    Yes, these kids just don't "get" it. And it's not like we're asking for a lot--just a wee bit of respect.

    Sending (((hugs)))) and support and a margarita...

  4. crabby erin

    crabby erin New Member

    Well, let's hijack her post, shall we??

    My crime this week was taking difficult child and difficult child/easy child for ice cream on the day that difficult child was visiting....why did I do that??

    difficult child played video games for most of the day, when I reminded him that the purpose of our visits was for him to VISIT!! So, come on, lets go get ice cream....had a nice time, but then we get home....a joke between the two boys goes from laughing to punching in 2 seconds, then came the meltdown, me having to restrain difficult child while he screams "Have mercy" (LOL, it was hard not to laugh) and the neighbors stood by asking if they could help....No, you can't help, but thanks....I'm sure they think we are all 3 crazy.

    To tie this all back to mstang67chic's original post - I cannot stand either of my kids sometimes.....actually, a lot of times....

    ahhhh our lives!
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Ooooh yeah! Teenagers. Gotta love 'em! NOT!

    Of all my kids (husband included), difficult child 1 is the one who gets my back up the easiest. I don't know if it's because of his age or the ADHD behavior or if it's just a personality clash with me. But he gets me the moooost angry to the point I feel like literally busting his chops. I hate feeling like that. And I remember crying when he was 4 or 5 because I couldn't stand his behavior anymore and felt like sending him to live with someone else. I felt like such a horrible mom!

    Sigh. Thankfully there are only a few hours during the day when I feel like that now, thanks to his medications, and my medications.

    I know we're supposed to cherish their childhood, but there are some days when I would SOOOOO love a fast forward button!

    'Stang, I think I would have just let the earring thing go. I'd bet the pool would tell him no jewelry while swimming anyway. Let them be the bad guys, let HIM deal with the consequences. My difficult child 1 loves to argue over stuff like that, so I just let it go and he gets to hear it from teacher, coach, store manager, whomever and THEY can deal with doling out the consequence. 'Cuz obviously I don't know jack. :hammer:

    Step -- they think they're the center of the universe because they are! Don't you know that?! :p I think I read somewhere that parents can count on that mentality to stick around until the kids are in their early 20's.

    We went to a parenting workshop a few months back sponsored by our local CHADD group. They had some good ideas for helping our kids use reflective thinking. It takes a lot of persistence, but it can pay off with a kid who stops to consider consequences...

    OMG! Can I believe my EARS?!!! difficult child 1 has just turned off the shower, and he's only been in there TEN MINUTES!!! Versus his usual 30. Maybe my ranting about the drought we're in has paid off!!!

    See, there is hope!
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    In another thread someone made a joke about their parenting manual. I dind't get one, but only because the batcave has my copy. But I do think we need one! (That part is more than slightly serious!)
  7. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I just don't understand how we can get so angry so fast with our own kids but if I was around....let's say Onyxx and she did the same things with me? Yeah I would probably get a bit of the "mom" voice going on but I may also laugh a little to myself. Drives me nuts. I can mostly put up with it or deal with it better when it's not my kid. But when it IS my kid? What's that word......offspringicide.
  8. crabby erin

    crabby erin New Member

    just don't understand how we can get so angry so fast with our own kids but if I was around....let's say Onyxx and she did the same things with me? Yeah I would probably get a bit of the "mom" voice going on but I may also laugh a little to myself. Drives me nuts. I can mostly put up with it or deal with it better when it's not my kid. But when it IS my kid? What's that word......offspringicide.

    I know! My *ahem* easy child/difficult child was picked up on Friday for shoplifting and I was LIVID... but I can remember a few years back when 2 different friends had their sons picked up for the same thing and I was saying to them "Well, boys do this. They'll learn from this...etc" all calm and everything.
    Then it's my kid and I'm screaming "WTH is wrong with you???"
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Oh yeah, I'm so there with you! We're idiots, but we can still cart them all over town, fork over money, cook their meals, clean up after them, do laundry,etc...and they get mad if we can't do some of that! Brats!!!!!

    And God forbid you need a tiny hand with something, they belly-ache and won't do anything without talking back! Meanwhile, they're twice the size of me, and twice as strong, and I do everything!

    Hopefully, they'll grow up and do the same for their kids. And maybe they'll even think kindly of us at some point!