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[novangel]

Not sure I already asked you this or not, but have you had him allergy tested?

Yes, a year ago was the last time.

He has some food allergies since birth, he outgrew the dairy but is still allergic to eggs and some tree nuts. I keep sugar intake to a minimum (bad for teeth) but it does not seem to effect/change his behavior either way. Seems to have no bearing even if he has a lot of sugar around Halloween.

 

[novangel]

lots of information given.
Short term memory issues are related to executive functioning deficits--related to ADD but not quite the same. A book recommended to me was Smart but Scattered. It has lots of real practical information for dealing with the various aspects of ADD and exec. functioning.

There are plenty of kids with LDs that do very well. Their parents are probably not seeking out this board.
Keep working on the positive. You sound like you are really on top of things.

I was considered Learning Disability (LD) as a child. I have to learn everything hands on so I kind of understand what's going on in his mind when he tries to study and focus. It's very difficult. I will check out that book. Thanks.

 

[HaoZi]

Some kids are visual, some do better with audio, some are hands-on learners. Those kind of things can be helped a lot by a better student-teacher match, because even if he struggles he'll feel more understood about his learning style. There are some private/alt schools that specialize in hands-on learning.

 

[novangel]

Does ADD typically make a child somewhat defiant or argumentative? Nothing I read about ADD seems to show a correlation.

 

[HaoZi]

Funny, I seem to recall seeing the phrase ADD or ADHD rages mentioned in numerous places. Could be all those places were here, but I see it a lot.

 

[pepperidge]

I am not sure what is typical with regard to defiance or argumentativeness, but I suspect that some of it is inborn, some of it may be due to other disorders, and some of it comes from how the world reacts to these kids. No, stop, calm down, think before you act, stop, please stop, don't, ...you get the picture. A psychologist that we work with thinks that there are secondary behaviors that manifest themselves as a reaction to how the child's differences are initially and inappropriately dealt with. Instead of trying to structure things to take into these kids' real limitations and problems--particularly when they are young--we try to force them to conform to a world that they just don't have the ability to conform to. So we get reactions we don't like-anger, defiance, low self-esteem, etc.

Also for ADHD kids there is the theory that they often like to stir up trouble so to speak if life gets too boring--they are stimularing the understimulated brain that characterizes ADD kids, as counterintuitive as that may be.

 

[novangel]

I am not sure what is typical with regard to defiance or argumentativeness, but I suspect that some of it is inborn, some of it may be due to other disorders, and some of it comes from how the world reacts to these kids. No, stop, calm down, think before you act, stop, please stop, don't, ...you get the picture. A psychologist that we work with thinks that there are secondary behaviors that manifest themselves as a reaction to how the child's differences are initially and inappropriately dealt with. Instead of trying to structure things to take into these kids' real limitations and problems--particularly when they are young--we try to force them to conform to a world that they just don't have the ability to conform to. So we get reactions we don't like-anger, defiance, low self-esteem, etc.

Also for ADHD kids there is the theory that they often like to stir up trouble so to speak if life gets too boring--they are stimularing the understimulated brain that characterizes ADD kids, as counterintuitive as that may be.

This makes a TON of sense, thank you! I can complete agree. He does become aggitated by all the redirection and/or reprimanding. He does have low self-esteem because he notices that he's somehow different and does tend to stir things up when he's feeling "bored". Wow, this forum has really given me a ton on information and it's all starting to come together.

I am a still a bit confused though since the 6 hour Neuro psychiatric exam said he's not ADHD. Could they be wrong??

 

[HaoZi]

What were their findings? Anything at all?

 

[AnnieO]

I only have about $0.02 on this - but - I can tell you - Jett has been diagnosis'd ADHD, and he can get very frustrated when he's having trouble doing something. His rages are not like Onyxx's - but they're both WAYYYYYY smarter than I am...

 

[pepperidge]

I may have missed something earlier, but he is in elementary school right? You are not reporting things like huge rages (real fits of destructiveness, screaming out of control for a long period), presumably the neuropsychologist testing would have raised any concerns about being on the autistic spectrum? He is your biological child?

Have you tried any ADHD medicines to see if they help?

While I and many others here think neuropsychologist testing is really valuable, it is not infallible. A number of people have had neuropsychologist reports that contradict themselves or overlook things that are picked up later. You seem to be describing something that looks like ADD, and would seem to respond to many of the strategies recommended for ADD kids. So little of this stuff is a science. I wouldn't stress over the label, the more important thing is whether you feel like and the school have strategies for addressing the issues, are trying to make life easier for this kid who sounds like he is struggling. If you feel that things are going in the right direction keep going.

 

[DammitJanet]

Hon, I have 3 boys with some issues of one sort or the other.

My middle son is pure and simple ADHD. Ritalin was his bestest friend in the world. Your son sounds so much like him.

My son was the perfect baby. A dream come true. Slept well, ate well, met all his milestones way ahead of schedule. We noticed he was much more active from about 15-18 months because he was running wide open by then and he never stayed still. He was never the boy who would plop down in front of the TV. He learned to ride a two wheeler on his third birthday without training wheels. He just picked up his older brothers bike and took off on it.

He was one who got up at dawn and fell asleep as soon as it got dark. He was the kid who wasnt destructive on purpose but might break something because he simply didnt think through his actions. Such as...oh, maybe it isnt such a good thing to toss a ball in the house when the ceiling fan is on! The fan it the ball straight through the window!

He had a very hard time when he started school because he simply didnt understand why anyone would expect little boys to want to sit still in little desks all day long. He thought it was some kind of torture. In Kindergarten he could never sit still. He would walk around the classroom constantly but he always understood what they were attempting to teach. In first and part of second grade he had a harder time but then he finally figured it out. He also was the class clown. His grades were never perfect but for the most part he did because work until HS when he went off ritalin.

Now he is a pretty successful adult. He set his sights on becoming a US Marine from the time he was young. He never got into major trouble either at home or in the community so that he could obtain his goal. He graduated HS. He went into the Marines in 2003. Became a MP. Served 4 years in there and came out, married his wife Billie Jean. He now works as an Animal Control officer with the sheriff's department in VA, is going to the police academy there, has 2 kids and is buying his first home.

He is still ADHD but he has learned to compensate for it and takes no medication.