ADHD and ODD and depression at my wit's end

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jimismomi, Aug 27, 2017.

  1. Jimismomi

    Jimismomi New Member

    I don't even know where to begin my 9 year old son who is almost as big as me at 5ft tall just came home from a 5 day inpatient because he was threatening suicide and went as far as to climb on the railing like he was going to jump over the balcony mind you all of this meltdown started because I asked him multiple times to help clean up the living room and after he said he wanted to die I told his 6 year old brother to leave him alone and let him calm down rather than taking the time to calm down he looked me directly in my face and started to climb the railing now of course he was a great kid the whole time he was at the hospital no problems what so ever and after 5 days he came home and he has been a holy terror worse than ever since he got home before the hospital his outbursts were not nearly as frequent now it seems as if every time I ask him anything he flat out refuses to do it either with an excuse to why he shouldn't have to or a flat out no accompanied by how much I hate him and why dont I just send him to live with his grandma today I'm apparently not even his mom and he wishes he lived some where else because he hates it here he is constantly hurting his brother and screaming horrible things at me also I'm very pregnant being induced on Tuesday so I can't do much of anything and in a few more days will have a newborn baby as well I honestly don't know what to even do any more
     
  2. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    Did he behave this way before you became pregnant?
     
  3. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Is his dad any help?

    I am sorry you are going through this, I cannot imagine being in that situation AND about to have a baby!

    Do you have any concern that he may try to harm his newborn sibling?

    If it were me I would contact the hospital and let them know he is worse than ever. Maybe they can take him back.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Did he have a chaotic early life? Was he always this way? Where is Dad?

    Sounds like extreme behavior...not "bad" behavior, more very troubled behavior. Is there mental illness in his genetic family tree on either side? Are these his full siblings? Did he lose his father at an early age?
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2017
  5. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Take some deep breaths, Mom. You will survive this. I suggest that you change your username as this is a very public forum Our best advice is to stay anonymous.

    My son behaved very much like yours at that age. He was an ordinary kid until I brought his sister home from the hospital.

    I strongly advise you to get someone in the home to help you when the baby arrives. A friend, an aunt, your mother. Someone.

    Your son needs attention and your baby, of course, will need tons of attention. If you have someone else there, I think your son will be calmer.

    We can offer more advice if you give us some more details. Is your son on any medication? Is he seeing a therapist? How is he doing at school?
     
  6. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Welcome.

    You have your hands full. Your son seems to need some type of help that you cannot give him right now. Can he go stay with his grandmother as he suggested? At least until you recuperate from childbirth and figure out a plan.
     
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  7. How did I get here

    How did I get here New Member

    I'm pretty new too. But, many of us here, believe it or not, can relate to you.
    My kids are 12 years apart. When my son was 12 years old my daughter had a child. I was out of work for a short time; so, I watched my granddaughter during the day. I was so scared my son would hurt her. But, I started letting him hold her, feed her, and burp her (when I was around). I let him feel it was very special between them. As my daughter was afraid to let him around her. Since then, my daughter had another child. My son is their favorite person in the world. Even though he is usually a jerk to me.
    Long story short, try giving him the special time (with close supervision). Alsi, (you may dread this one) a little one on one time with you and him, may help. Good luck!
     
  8. Amity

    Amity New Member

    I can only say what it sounds like to me.
    It sounds like going to the hospital had him fear you leaving him behind. I am sure a new baby exasperates that too. The fact that he is acting out to see how far you are willing to let him go before you act is just the same as a toddler doing something to find out where the limits are.
    If you can let him know how much he is loved and no matter what he is your son. No matter where he goes or what he does that will never change. That he is loved no matter what too. He is needed now more than ever to help and you are trusting him to help you make you all a family.

    After all he is still a child and has child like thoughts. Pushing you is like throwing a rock in a pond. look what I can do. Maybe there is another thing that you can find for him to do that doesn't feel like a commanded chore. that chore is just do this because I said so and it needs done kinda thing after all. He likely needs to see his worth in the family dynamics.
    All well and good i'm sure. Difficult children make things way more interesting in any type of household!
    Congrates on new baby!