My difficult child is my 17 year old step son. We suspect he has conduct disorder but hasn't been diagnosed officially. He's in therapy now, actually, right now its family therapy with a GREAT therapist. She's provided a lot of guidance and support to us. Two weeks ago difficult child broke into a house and got caught, there were aggravating factors that make it a VERY serious legal issue. He hasn't been charged officially. We went to a lawyer who said if its stays in juvy that would be the best but difficult child turns in 18 in 9 days, and they may be waiting to charge him as an adult. Now we know he's been using pot, this weekend we found it in his room. Essentially he's just gotten more and more defiant and troubled since last October. My questions are: 1) do we dish out the $4000 for an attorney to make sure he gets charged as a juvy or let be what will be? 2) since we've gotten him help, the counselor, the attorney, community service, his attitude has gotten WAY worse. He's now MORE defiant with us. How do we manage that? We're trying to help him but are we just being too kind?