Aggressive Behavior

Haven't posted in awhile.

difficult child has now been on Efalex for about 3 weeks, and I started the Melissa Supreme for children(which is similiar to gaba Calm) 1 week ago.

He has his good days and bad days, but he still is very aggressive with certain children, it scares me because of the things he does. For instance, playing with his friend down the street last night. He loves to push around those ride on push cars that are red and yellow. Has done this instead of riding them since very little. Runs with it so fast that if bumped into another child, could seriously injure them. Anyhow last night ran full charge at friend and clipped his foot, and I screamed at him and told him NO!!!, What is wrong with you, don't do that you could have hurt your friend. His comment was well I didn't wan't to. 5 minutes later he charged his friend again full blast and dead straight ahead and his father caught him just inches away from the other child and told him NO!!! Since we stopped him I don't know if he was going to actually hit him or not. If he had, we could have had a law-suit on our hands. We are very good friends with this family, but difficult child always is rough with their son. Anyhow, after that we took the car away and told him he could not play with it. Did not complain.

Later friend fell on the ground and his Mom went to help him up, and my son charged over there and hit at them and said no!!!! After that I asked why and he said I want to be on the ground too. I said so, you don't hit at people, why did you do that, he said again I don't know, I didn't want to. He appologized and I told him we were leaving because he is mean!!! Told him that if he did not stop this that he would not be able to play with friend again. He got very upset and said I have to. I said then you have to be nice and keep your hands to yourself. He said he would be a good boy.?

I have not taken him to the Child Psychologist yet, because I wanted to have some proof that the Efalex and Melissa Supreme was working first. I hope that I start seeing some results soon, because he is really being defiant. Think he must have ODD. Has so many of the symptoms. Purposefully loves to irritate people. :mad:

I think I read somewhere that it took a good six weeks to get the Efalex in your system. My son takes Zyrtec for allergies, and I think that I am going to start giving him that in the mornings from now on. I gave it to him in the eve because can make drowsy, but maybe that's what he needs during the day to calm him down.

Still been fighting with husband to work with me to control difficult child and let him know that we are the Boss not him. Everytime I make 5 good steps forward, husband looses temper and moves everything right back where it started. husband still not dealing well with son's problems. This is very frustrating for me, because it would be so much easier if he would work with me and not against me.

Anyhow difficult child just woke from his nap angry at me again because I left the room and not there when he awoke. Very abussive when awakes and I'm not there. Screams bad words, and grabs and holds me too tight. Anyhow. Gotta go for now. Need to attend to difficult child.

Justin's Mom Sherry :laugh:

Both of my sons went to social skills group therapy, when they were young. It was a big help, in curbing their aggressiveness.
How is his diet?


New Member
Wow you've got your hands full for a 3 year old. From the sound of it, it could be more than one issue. My difficult child is also on Efalex and Gaba. It sounds like you're really moving forward with the food testing and soon, the allergy work. The good news is that he's young and that's to your benefit, of course. When you get to a play therpist or a psychologist, they may mention Reactive Attachment Disorder due to the clinginess or Augsperger syndrome due to the constant movement and the inability to retain what you've just told him. They get stuck in tracks and like to repeat behavior. So, whatever syndromes or dignosis you get, brace yourself for confusion. At first we heard possible ADD, then Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), then ODD, and I just call it the alphabet soup of psychiatry. I often wonder if they're just covering their backsides in case of a lawsuit. Be strong and realize that you may have to be the only parent leading the way for your child. My husband also has an interesting reaction to all the testing, prescriptions, behavior charts, etc. I feel like a single MOM but that's what it takes. You'll do what you need to and what your heart tells you to do regardless of his disinterest or criticism. Good luck. Stay in touch. PAULA

Yes, I do have my hands full.

Justin's diet to answer the ? is free from anything artificial, coloring, flavoring, BHT, BHA, THQA. Is on the Feingold Diet.

However now and then I will reward him with something if he is good, but try not to make it anything with red dye, (this makes him extreemely hyper). I make all of his cookies homemade, and only buy Breyer's ice-cream (All Natural).
Every now and then he gets ahold of my Devil's Food Snackwell cookies, but never have noticed any problems after, mainly just with colorings.

His diet is pretty poor, very picky eater. Will only eat a few things, and has dumped some of them now. Drinks a lot of milk. Curious when I have him allergy tested if this could be the problem.
Dr had me keep him off it for a while some time back due to all the throat irritations he would get with his allergies, and had me put him on a synthetic milk. Can't remember the name. Anyhow, no change 2 weeks on it. My mother in law can't have milk products, and neither could my husband when young. Maybe this could be the problem? Wishful thinking.

Took difficult child shopping for shoes today and he was an angel. Did not fuss one time. Took him to Spangles after, and he ate his whole hamburger. Amazing I normally have to shove food down his throat.
Anyhow, tried giving allergy medication Am today, maybe it calmed him, think I will continue this method.

Thanks for your concerns.

Justin's Mom Sherry :laugh:

You could try a casein free diet and see if it makes a difference. Some children with autistic traits, do best when both gluten and casein are removed from their diets (gluten-free, casein-free diet).

Casein, I am not familiar with that.

Will look in my Feingold literature to find, might be in more restrictive area where I know I have seen gluten. Thanks!

Just in case can't find, what is Casein?

Hang in there! You are doing a great job and I am impressed by your persistance. I admire you for admitting that your difficult child has a problem
and acting on it. You are a special person to have tackled the problem alone! Your difficult child will have some bad days, but treasure the good ones and reflect on those times when things aren't so good. It's evident to me that you have made a lot of progress with your difficult child. Don't be surprised if things seem a little topsy turvy the next few weeks. Any kind of change, good or bad, can rock the boat. Good luck with your interview tomorrow!
Jitterbug /importthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Casein is a milk protein. Some people are allergic to it. It is different than a lactose intolerance.


New Member
I have said this before and I will say it again - get rid of whatever the craving is. If he is drinking milk all the time, eliminate it for at least two weeks to see if there is an improvement. Dairy is one of Kyle's biggest "trigger" foods - upsets, arguing, hitting, yelling, etc. If he has the symtpoms of an EFA deficiency and you don't notice an improvement, then something is causing the problem besides or in addition to an EFA deficiency.

If he is a picky eater (as was Kyle), ask him if some of the foods he eats hurts his stomach. Believe, me kids NEVER volunteer critical information. If so, you may want to try Zantac for a while. Candidia yeast overgrowth was Kyle's problem and after we got that straightened out he eats nearly everything - except green beans! Kyle's problem got so bad he was throwing up after every meal. He now takes grapefruit seed extract, caprylic acid and acidophilus/bifidus to keep the Candidia in check. He also took a prescribed antifungal for a while. Candidia yeast overgrowth can also cause behavior problems.

I also used a "star" chart with Kyle that helped him to try new foods. He got a star for every bite he took of a food he normally wouldn't eat. After so many stars (you set the amount) he gets a treat - video, movie, trip to the park, whatever he likes to do. I only had to use this system for two weeks and he started taking bites on his own without using the stars.

I know it sounds like looking for a needle in a haystack, but be patient. It took nearly a year of trying different things, eliminating one food then another, keeping a chart in Excel to track what he ate daily and the resulting behavior (which can take up to 3 days to show up!) and noticing a pattern with the dairy. But when you hit on the right thing your life smooths out and you aren't on pins & needles all the time and you can actually lead a seminormal life.

Thanks for all the good adivice.

I am looking forward to his allergy testing in October, because I am sure this will help somewhat being that his father and I both have terrible allergies.

Reading over the symptions and behaviors children can have who can benifit from a glutten and casien free diet, my son has several of the symptoms.

Flapping his arms when excited
Excessive sweating at night
History of anitbiotic use
Dark circles under eyes occasionally
Self limited diet/food cravings
Repetitive Behavior
Giggling/screaming for no reason
Lack of eye contact when talk to him
Sleep problems
Repetitive speech

Anyhow, alot of these things work in with ADD and ODD as well.

He does drink about 1/2 gallon of mikl a day. Might try him on some sort of Milk substitute. Any suggestions?

Wouldn't it be great if this could be the problem.

Does all milk have milk proteins in them, as well as butter and ice-cream, or only if mentioned. Can anyone answer this ?


New Member
Howdy neighbor. I usually don't reply to much on here but I wanted to let you know I have left a message for my sister moonglow to read this and maybe she can help you. She knows alot about this stuff. She had to tkae her son off milk products totally a few years ago. Nata had a ton of ear infections and sinus infections and seemed to be sick every other day when he was a toddler and allergies were probably the main cause to alot of his illnesses. He has even done weekly allergy shots now for awhile. Hope she can give you some answers. Hang in there! Keep searching for answers. /importthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Taking my younger son off milk products helped his ears too. He prefers the "Silk" brand soy milk.

To Jitterbug my friend, thank you for all of the support you have given me over the last year, you have been a God Send. Can't wait to visit you and the girls again soon when husband is on one of his fishing trips.

And to my dear neighbor, thank you for all your concerns. That would be great if Moonglow could give me some help. Think I landed a job at a great interview yesterday in my profession, Medical Field, will find out today if got job. Already have daycare lined up with difficult child x baby siter and he is very excited. Been visiting and he has done well with the children there. Think because he remembers the place because we have always continued
to visit her house over the past 2 yrs. He loves her and her house.

Transtriumphant, thanks for the mention of Silk Soy Milk. My Doctor rec something about 1 yr ago that we tried for 2 weeks that was pretty expensive, can't rem name, but bet husband does. It was a milk substitute, but dont know if was soy?

difficult child never eats well except maybe 2 times a week. Very picky eater.

Thanks again everyone and I will await moonglow and other responses.

Justin's mom Sherry

:laugh: Transformtriumphant, sorry kept calling you transtriumphant, just glanced at name and that was what I read? At least we know I am not dyslexic, just not very observant.

I'm often too lazy to sign my name. I'm D'Leah /importthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif


New Member
Hairdoer called me to tell me about your post since I didn't have Yahoo on to see her message...I think she just likes to bug me! lol. Yes the soy milk is more expensive and you can only buy half gallon at a time...I had to put Nate on Rice Dreams sub milk...has no real milk in it at all...because as it turned out he was also allergic to soy. :frown: Anything made with milk, cheese, ice cream, yes even butter, ect has casin in it..which is a milk protien.

Nate began refusing milk at age two though he could not tell me why...well milk made his stomach hurt. Plus milk adds ..well thickens any congestion they are having. Many doctors will tell you when your child is sick with a runny nose, coughing, ect to stop the milk as it makes it worse.

It sounds like to me your son is drinking WAY WAY too much milk to begin with. Also kids and adults tend to crave what they are allergic too...or totally avoid it..depending on what kind of reaction they are having. For instance Nate avoided milk because right away he got a stomach ache...but yet he CRAVES like say pizza...he is allergic to about everything on pizza too. He craves thing with yeast in them and he is allegic to the yeast. So he avoided the milk but not the yeast. werid huh?

Anything your son is craving..that he HAS to have all the time, everyday is a red flag for an allergy. Plus the allergy nurses told me that when ANYONE eats or drinks the same thing day after day , they WILL develop an allergy to it. I would assume that is mostly with people who already have allergies that they mean.

I would start cutting back on the regular milk...give him juice for a chance..but closely watch his behavior too even on juice and PLEASE avoid any juices with red dye 40 in them. You can try the Soy milk or the Rice Dreams milk but it does taste alot different then regular milk and he may not drink it. Talk to him first about the milk...keep it simple...don't just suddenly take it away from him or you will have a huge battle with him on it.

Ration it out and cut back more each day. Give him something fun instead of milk like like those juices that come in juice boxes. Tell him you think the milk might be making him feel bad so you want him to drink less of it. Then after a few days, talk to him again and take more away, ect until he is totally off milk. Milk is a common food allergy too by the way.

If you can keep him from having milk or milk products for two weeks you should beable to start seeing a difference if they will be one by then.

Now I know the doctors and nurse will tell you that he HAS to have milk...blah blah blah. That he needs the calcuim and if you aren't giving him milk they will say to feed him cottage cheese, or cheese or ice cream, ect. You can get vitamines for kids with calcuim in if he is eating a healthy well balanced diet he will get calcuim from his food too...though I realize he is being picky about what he eats so maybe go with the vitamine.

I would bet almost everything he is eating he is allergic too...picky eatters do that...if it were up to Nate he would eat pizza for supper every along with Dortois, red juice, ect, Also be aware of red dye 40 in children's vitamin's also. Red dye 40 can cause hyperactivity, aggression, rages, ODD type behavior and on and on.

On top of the things Nate can't eat he can't have much red dye 40 or blue dyes now. One good thing, he seems to be outgrowing his milk allergies and doing ok with eggs now too. I still really have to watch him on the soy and yeast though. One time his grandma had these rootbeer popsicles that he just loved. Well he had had one or two and asked for another one time when he was over there...she said no...well he snuck one out of the refrig...she caught him and he went running off with it!!

She chased him all over the backyard...he had managed to get outside. She was MAD let me tell you! I wasn't there, but I heard all about Well later I checked his yeast list on what he couldn't have and sure enough rootbeer was listed on his yeast allergy sheet. No wonder he was craving them so badly! geesh! I told grandma not to buy those poor kid though I feel for him sometimes.

Anyway...try weaning him off of the milk and any other milk product foods he won't be easy or fun...but if it works...think of all the battles you WON'T have to fight with him! /importthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif And watch out for the dreaded red dye 40

(hope this made sense...I am getting pretty tired)

Moonglow, Thanks for the reply, I tried Vitamint and Silk soy Milk this week, and Justin hated it. Every now and then I give him chocolate, so tried the Silk Soy Milk with chocolate and he liked it the 1st time, but later when offered the white Silk Soy, he took one sip then vomited all the chocolate Milk he had 2 hrs earlier, so I think he must be allergic to soy as well.

Does the rice dreams taste as bad?

He has strictly been asking for juice now the last day, so been giving Motts Natural Apple , and Welch's White grape/Pear and water. I don't think the Milk thing is going to be a problem for a while, because he is affraid it will all taste yucky now. Anyhow he did have a glass before bedtime. I think I will try limiting it to once or twice a day and see if that helps and offer more juice and water throughout the day.

I don't give Justin anything with Red, Pink or orange dye in it, or Blue, or green, the only color I have been giving is yellow. It does not seem to pose a problem.

Found some all natural suckers at Whole Foods that my son loves. They are called Vitamin C Pops, Made by Glerrry's and Distributed by Glenn Foods Inc. They are about 40 cents a sucker, and have60 mg of vitamin C in each pop, and all natural flavors and colorings. Just FYI if anyone is interested. Other ingredients are extract of malted barley and corn, ascorbic acid (vit C), and citric acid. They have a lemon flavor, and the other two are orange and red in color, some berry flavor. My son prefers the orange and red ones. I think that is because he never gets anything that color.

Justin is starting Day care on Monday, I found my dream job last week in a OB Gyn office. Justin will go back with his old babysitter that he left at 10 months old. He always behaves well over there, and we have continued to visit the last couple of years. The baby sitter has always carried a special place in her heart for Justin, and I think being around her with her calmness, and other kids might curb his hyperactivity, because he will have someone to play with all of the time now.

I will keep you posted on the allergy tesing and limitation of Milk.

Justin's mom Sherry :laugh:

My son is in a school for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids and a lot of the kdis there are on a casein free and gluten free diet. Their parents believe it helps them. I understand that it takes some work and the whole family must buy into the changes. I also understand that if they look hard enough they can find an acceptable substitute for just about anything. I was curious as to your question about milk and put in search terms on yahoo "autism and gluten" and came up with many, many sites. Some of these list specific products, evaluate those products and some sell the products.

In looking at some of these sites I was also reminded that some professionals do not believe that the issue is an "allergy" to gluten or casein but rather a "leaky gut", inability to digest these, etc, etc.

So irrespective of the allegist's tests for allergies you might want to try these diets for while. I also understand from other parents that once the child is on the diet any amount of casein or gluten consumed has an immediate effect, similar to the effect of a child with a problem with a dye. It's immediate and dramatic.