Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by guest3, Apr 20, 2007.
Just heard (and read) it on Countdown though I've first heard about it this morning. To be honest, I don't know what all the fuss is about. He's mad and yelling at his kid. **shrug**
I heard his nasty and disgusting little diatribe earlier today.
However, what shocks me the most is reactions such as Sara PA's and others. Wow. Like it's just another day.
Screaming at your 11 year old daughter that she has no decency and calling her a pig simply "yelling at his kid"?
Believe me, I understand he probably has a lot of frustrations over his years ongoing battles with his ex-wife over custody. So, save that crap for the Ex. As explosively angry I have ever been at either of my difficult children (And I can go off like Mt. St. Helens) I would have never in a million years made comments to my child like that. Geez, no wonder the kid doesn't want to talk to him, or turns off her phone. This is probably one of many such messages.
They guy is also a known drinker. My own Father was like him. I feel for the kid. KID. 11 year old KID.
Lots of people yell at their kids. Some say bad words when they are mad. Some call the kids names when they are mad. Sorry, there is nothing incredibly shocking about this. Nor is it especially horrible.
ETA: I don't know the circumstances and won't make a judgement about how he speaks to her in most phone calls or why she turns off her phone.
Dude doesn't even know if his kid is 11 or 12.
That's just wrong. You don't talk to your kid like that. there are other ways of expressing "I am angry" or even "I am disappointed" than to tell a kid that they are a pig or that they are not acting like a human. Sounds to me like the girl reminds him of his X a little too much, and he is taking his frustrations out on her.
Oh boo hoo. Somebody call him a waaambulance.
Not knowing how old his kid is or when a birthday is isn't uncommon for men. When I need to know a child's birthdate, I ask the mother if I have a choice. Too many dads just don't know. A lot -- most? -- do, but many don't.
I think he was over the top. I can get angry and at times will yell (not happy when I do) but never would think of calling these types of names to my kids (although I've been called worse by difficult child). I think it is demoralizing for a child to be called names and talked to in such a demeaning way especially from a parent.
I agree with you, Dazed. It was way past an angry parent yelling at their kid. It had a menacing and threatening tone to it ~ especially when you listen to it instead of just reading what he said.
I don't think it should have been released for public consumption, though. If the mom released it, then that was a serious error in judgment in my opinion. It certainly was not in the best interest of the child.
I think it should have been sent straight to the judge.
I heard this recording twice today. The fact that it had been released to the press is demeaning to the entire family - especially the daughter.
It sounds as though Papa Alec needs a bit of anger management. Doesn't matter how far he's been pushed by his child - he is the adult in the relationship.
As to Mama - I agree this should have been sent directly to the court.
This poor child has her father's crushing angry words to relive on a daily basis.
The whole incident was in poor taste & not in the best interest of that poor child.
It was wrong of Basinger to put it out there in the public's eye. She's just as guilty as he is for doing any *possible* damage to their daughter. They are squabbling like wild animals and it's been going on for 6 years...so let's see, that's most of their daughter's life! She was 5 when this mess started. *Possibly* she deliberately misses her father's calls so she doesn't have to put up with his drilling and maybe she skips his calls because her mother stands over her and listens in? You just never know.
Maybe she will emancipate herself from them as soon as she is able. Sounds like neither of them know the first thing about parenting. Yelling at your kids is one thing, but berating them, humiliating them and calling them names is not okay, in my opinion.
My mother was a big name caller and it was hurtful and damaging. The yelling was par for the course and all parents do it, but when she started calling my sisters and I awful names it felt like we were being attacked.
I heard it yesterday morning and found it disturbing. That's WAAAAYYY beyond just yelling at one's kid, in my opinion. It's degrading, threatening, and definitely some anger management is in order. And shame on whoever released it to the public.
A steady diet of that from a parent is harmful. I had an abusive parent and the words did far more lasting damage than any physical action ever did.
I heard this on the radio this morning as I drove in to work. At first, I thought it was the station's attempt at a "joke" because I have read that Alec is a bit hotheaded. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
I agree that it should never have been made public, but I also agree that no matter what, he is the adult and should not have left such a damaging message on his daughter's voicemail. I mean, come on. If Kim is keeping the daughter from him, go to your lawyer, go to Court. He has gone on record to say that the Court system is corrupt and unfair. She has gone on the record to say that he is unstable and has a very bad temper. Both have gone on the record saying that the other is a bad parent.
The only real difference between them and millions of others on the planet is that they are in the limelight. There are a million families in similar struggles/situations all over the planet. I work for an attorney and some of the Family Court matters we deal with are pretty similar, sad to say. One man in our very small town put a hand painted bill board by the road of his house saying his wife was a blankety-blank and was running around with anyone who would have her. She, in turn, put one up that said he was a dead beat dad who gambled and drank. Both were arrested. It gets ugly in the "real world", too.
I also agree that the real victim in this whole thing is the daughter. What is she supposed to glean from all of this?
I think the whole thing is just sad.
If it is true that one parent said these things and the other parent 'broadcast' it, then they BOTH need their heads banged together (metaphorically speaking).
It sounds as if their daughter will be a legal adult by the time custody is sorted out and the divorce is final. Very sad. If they once loved each other enough to make this child, then they shouldn't be using this child as a weapon against each other. Just plain wrong.
Kim is definitely short a few cards of a full deck. I read in another report that she released this, with her lawyer, to the media. I know Alec is a hothead. I haven't listened, only read what he said. I know this has been frustrating for the last sevral years as Kim has used his kids to get his goat many, many times. It's always been ugly between them.
I'm not condoning what he said, (I don't even like him much, honestly) but I think many of us have been to the point of anger and rage ourselves and have said things that we regret later. I have. I'm not proud of it, but it sometimes comes with the territory of having a difficult child. I certainly wouldn't be throwing stones. I'm sure this is not one of his prouder moments. I'm sure this is definitely not going to make his relationship any better with his daughter.
so sad that this little girl's friends are also hearing this she is ata fragile age, operhaps Alec Baldwin was a difficult child??? I hear he is very difficult to work with, who knows????????? His Baldwin brothers have also seen their share or trouble
A moment of thankfulness that my moments of less than stellar self control with- gfgness were not recorded *and* that I'm not embroiled in what has to be one of the nastiest and hateful custody battles ever.
My take on this is that there is a whole lot of garbage that led up to this point. If the child or her mother were truly concerned about his behaviors, it should've been turned over to the judge (which I believe it was) and left at that. Instead, it's turned into a public campaign to humiliate him, using the child as a pawn.
Quite frankly, I think irreparable harm has been done to this child long ago. There's an awful lot of nasty manipulation that's been going on for a long time. I cannot judge the man based on what obviously was a very frustrating parental moment for him. While my windows have gotten much smaller, I still live in a glass house.
FWIW, according to what Keith Olbermann reported on Countdown last night, the child has issued a statement saying she is "fine" with the release of the tape. That smacks of Basinger's hand in this.
Yes, people do it, and yes it's loathsome. It's also loathsome that it was released to the press. His ex should have taken it to court and demanded that he get therapy - not publicly crucified the man using the little girl to nail him to the cross. How would you feel if instead of getting help for your dad, your mom let everyone in the world know that he thought you were a pig?
Shame on everyone who thinks this is entertainment, and shame on everyone who thinks it's no big deal. It's a great big disgusting thing that everyone but the family should ignore.
Its hard to make a judgement without knowing the back story to the situation. The phone call was court ordered, and for whatever reason the mother is not making the daughter follow through with their end of the deal. That being said, I have to wonder if the daughter is less than thrilled to see or talk to her dad in the first place. When my parents divorced, I barely knew my dad (I was 8 yrs old and he had just retired from the navy, and i rarely saw him). Then all of a sudden, it is court ordered that I see him every weekend. I remember sobbing, fingernails dug into the door not wanting to go. He was a stranger to me, and an alcoholic who only cared about himself. He would give me money and drop me off at the mall as I got older, which I totally didn't mind.
I guess Im just looking at the little girls side of things, and Im sure there is so much more we will never know about their relationship.
OK, I finally listened to this ... and it's HORRIBLE! It's vicious and hateful and and threatening and it sounds like he's taking out all his venomous feelings for the mother on the eleven year old kid! This is AWFUL! There is NO excuse! HE is still the adult and SHE is still the kid! If my ex- had talked about coming to see one of my kids in this threatening tone of voice, I'd make sure he got nowhere near my child, even if it was "court ordered"!! I had only read a few quotes of what he said to the girl before, but when I listened to the whole tape, it just goes on and on and on... And when you listen to it, it sounds like he's just angry because she had her phone turned off when he tryed to call her! And his anger just escalates and escalates the more he talks! If he talks to her that way, why would she want to talk to him! Much less SEE him! This is NOT a parent showing appropriate, justified anger towards a child for some misbehavior ... this is HATEFUL and THREATENING and FRIGHTENING!
But I certainly don't agree with the tape being made public. What is it our parents used to say about "airing your dirty laundry..."? And BOTH parents are to blame for it getting this bad. As long as this has gone on, this poor kid has grown up this way ... this is all she knows! BOTH parents have put her in the middle and used her and manipulated her as a weapon against the other! Sounds like they are both so hate-filled and spiteful that they've completely lost sight of what they are doing to this child!
As bad as this is, it certainly isn't uncommon! This is in the news because it's celebrities, but this happens all the time! I have a friend at work who is going through a divorce and she has a daughter this same age, and her soon-to-be ex is behaving just like this! He is not only targeting their daughter with his hate and his slurs against her, but her whole family including her son from a previous marriage that he helped raise! In Tennessee, divorcing couples with children are now required to attend court-ordered counseling about how to get through it without involving and further damaging the children - the main thrust of it is ... LEAVE THE KIDS OUT OF IT! She has gone, he has not!
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