I don't know why but I have this personality trait of feeling guilty for nearly everything. I dont know what in my background has made me this way. When I punish difficult child I am ok with it in the moment, but an hour or so later, I start to feel like I was too hard on him. husband and I even tell him we are sorry we got so angry. Trust me, us getting angry is not unwarranted....he gets sent to the office nearly every other day, lies, steals, hurts other kids, degrades them. This morning as I was packing my lunch, I could hear difficult child and easy child screaming at each other in the drive way. When I went to the door, I witness difficult child smack easy child on the head, she cries and hits him back. I call both of them out of the car, bring them inside and go off on them. There was then silence the whole way to school. And now I feel like a horrible mom for starting their day off bad. Some days (ok alot of days) I feel like I am a complete mess as a mother. I wonder if my parents ever felt guilt over punishing us as kids. They sure didn't seem like it and I never heard an "im sorry for beating the snot out of you". ugh, just my little vent for today.