Awwwwwwwwww, CB. I was bullied terribly too. It's really traumatic to have had that happen. I was terrified of school. The only thing that saved me was a new girl came to my school when I was in 8th grade and s he hated the "snooty" kids at our school and she had the mouth of a truck driver and was so beautiful that nobody dared tease her...she became my best friend. I learned to talk back to the bullies just like she did and to embarass them. By then I hated school so much, the teasing plus th e learning disabilities, that I just went to socialize with the few friends I had and to flirt with the boys (I got very pretty in high school and THAT helped too...what a pity that something that shallow means so much to kids).
I did no homework and did not try my entire high school years. I liked to cut gym, which was my last class an d take a bus to the beach when the weather was nice. I threw my C/D/F report cards on the table and my parents didn't try to ground me for getting bad grades, which was good because it wouldn't have helped. By then I was a full blown difficult child and they could never have grounded me. I wouldn't have stayed home. I did not do drugs, have sex until marriage or break the law at all, but I absolutely would not listen to my mother, who was so mean to me. I truly hated her when I was that age. My father was never home to try to back her up. I didn't hate him, but he was never there. So I did absolutely nothing in school and could not be disciplined for it and I honestly don't think my mother cared. "Girls don't have to be smart. They just have to be beautiful." (You can't make these things up). My brother was a genius...that's all she cared about. She paid for his college, but my sister went and had to pay herself...wow, I'm really on a vent...but my negative school hatred started with the bullying and, in that day and age, the teachers also bullied.
When 37 started school I had panic attacks when I had to go to the building, remembering the bad experiences, and made my husband go most of the time. Anytime a teacher picked on 37, and he deserved it a lot, I'd go ballistic on the teacher and stick up for my son.
Nobody from school was ever telling the truth or was on my side or my children's side to me.
In high school I refused to attend my graduation ceremony and nobody could make me go. My father told me "You'll regret this forever" but I never even think abou it except when I write about it, like now. I never wanted to go to college. Never had regrets over that. School was my nightmare, possibly moreso than my mother. And that's hard.
Bullied at home. Bullied at school. Not a good childhood.