Am I strange for being bugged by this?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by susiestar, Jan 25, 2009.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    There is a lot of advertising for people to make videos singing the Katie Perry song "I Kissed a Girl". I know in the video it makes it look like it was a dream, but it still bothers me.

    I don't have a problem with people who are in same-sex relationships, or are just oriented towards the same sex. But I think this song sends a bad message.

    I went and read the lyrics, and it makes it sound like it is OK to experiment sexually with the same sex, even desirable to do it. It also says that she hopes her boyfriend won't mind.

    Sexual experimenting happens. And it is normal. But any sexual practices don't need to be bragged about, nor do we need music that makes it sound like the "cool" thing to do.

    It also pushes the idea of cheating on someone you are in a committed relationship with. That bothers me a LOT. When you commit to someone, it should be a full commitment. Young people, or any people for that matter, don't need music that tells them it is OK to kiss other people even though they have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

    I guess it is just pushing to much sexual permissiveness? Not sure if that is what I mean. I truly would not have a problem if one of my kids entered a relationship with someone of the same sex, as long as they were HAPPY.

    But our society already pushes the envelope too much in sexual issues. I don't think that bedroom behavior needs to be splashed about, I think it should stay behind closed doors.

    Is this a strange set of values? I am not sure I am phrasing what bothers me very well.
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I think I get what you're saying and I have to agree.

    I don't care one way or the other about same sex relationships. However, I DO care about loyalty and trust and being faithful in ANY relationship, whether it's same sex or not.

    I agree that we are all being given the message that 'messing around' or experimenting is not only okay, but encouraged. As a 40-something year old, those messages do no more than bug me. But for our youth and young adults, it really really troubles me. I think that all we can do is try to impress upon our kids what our values and morals are and hope that they follow suit. Of course, in my case, one of my daughter's thinks it's perfectly fine to experiment while the other literally gags at the thought of one person in the relationship straying to experiment - I'll give you one guess which is which ;).

    Susie, you're not alone at all in your thinking, I don't think.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    no, 90% of the songs on the radio either talk about that, or sex, or drugs, or wanting sex, drugs or same sex whatever. lol seriously though. it's all junk not like it was years ago. sheesh i sound like my grandma used to sound.

    anyway i totally agree. when my kids start to sing it because it's a catchy tune i um don't like it.
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I don't have a problem with it. It's a lot more tame than a lot of songs that have been around for years and years in about every genre.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Jen, the kids singing it because it is a catchy tune drives me nuts. The Talent Show at school always seems to have some kid singing a song about sex and drugs. Jessie had a friend who wanted her to sing an Aerosmith song (can't remember which one, but one of their raunchier ones). I said Nono nononononono! Jess didn't understand until I explained what the song was about (in terms her 2nd grade mind could grasp) and she was grossed out!

    She has chosen much more appropriate songs when in the Talent Show. She sang a Hilary Duff song that came out in her Lizzie McGuire days, and also that Martina McBride song. "God's Will". And she was horrified by some of the songs other kids sang.

    I really limit the amt of pop music etc... that they listen to. No CD's unless I have heard them, etc....
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I thought I was the only one who was bothered.

    I'm kinda on the fence. As Heather said, there has been much worse. And I am a very liberal thinker and could not care less what someone's orientation is. However, this was totally targeted to youth. Tink wanted me to download it for her MP3. Without making a huge deal of it, I swayed her into picking another song.
  7. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    The song itself doesn't bother me all that much but I think there is too much singing and talking about sex all the time and that it is sending a bad message to our kids. I grew up in a time when sex was basically a dirty word and that was not good. I'm glad we've progressed. But you can have too much of a good thing. I don't care if you are gay, straight, bi or non: I don't want to hear about your sex life in great detail and I will not tell you about mine. Maybe that makes me OLD but that is how I feel.
  8. compassion

    compassion Member

    I have simialr feelings. I talk daily with difficult child about self esteem. What bothers meis the objectifcation , regardless of the sex. It is not about caring, love communication, committment. For my very impulsive bipolar daughter this sort of experimtation is not healthy. She posts pics of herslef acting out with other girls inthis way on mYSpace and then gets uspet that peple are intlerant. I am veryopen and accepitng it is the self sestructive aspects of this that bother me a lot.
    As a homeschool mom, I did monitor music, etc. etc. I do set boundaries in the house and do show respect, love all thoses things.
    She takes voice and it is all classical , show tunes, she wil be learning a French song soon.
    A few years ago we listened to the rapper Fifty Cent song about raminczing being in prison. All I can do is model and share my values and I am religous so I also live that. Compassion
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    OK, so brand me mega weird..........

    Cuz I actually like that song. :rofl: The song was actually written to be funny, or so I here. But I like the beat and well........I dunno, it's catchy. But I swear on my honor I'm not gonna go kiss a girl. ;)

    Heather's right......there are sooooo very many that I wonder how on earth they get to stay on the radio they are sooo bad. This one's awfuly tame compared to those.
  10. Numina

    Numina New Member

    No. You're not alone. So much of the media is over-sexualized that most just think it's normal. It's not. Thank goodness you can still see that.
    Let's not even start on MTV. :wow:
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Lisa, I guess this one bugs me because I keep seeing the idiot commercial. I watch tv shows on my computer and this has been coming on sometimes 4 or 5 times during a show. and I don't hear a lot of the other songs because we get really really bad radio reception out here in the boonies. And I don't drive my car a lot lately.

    So maybe it bugs me because I am hearing it a lot.

    I do agree, the tune is very catchy. And in the video it is supposed to make it seem like a dream. But the lyrics don't bear that out.

    I can live with being an old fuddy duddy, LOL!

    I have no problems with ADULTS listening to whatever they choose. It is when the elementary school kids are singing it or the middle schoolers and jr high students are acting it out that it bugs me. And with the way it is being pushed for the Grammies it is getting the younger kids to want to act it out.
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    A couple of things -

    1) Yes, the song is a bit "on the edge" in terms of its hints about same-sex relationships and infidelity, but frankly there are a lot more songs out there that have far worse messages (or even this message, more blatantly). But the more people make a huge fuss about it, the more popular the song will be and the more it will get played, not only now but in years to come. The best way to kill a song you don't like is NOT to picket, but to use apathy.

    2) Songs which REALLY drive me nuts and have me wanting to smash the TV screen are the "gangsta rap" ones which have absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever; they seem to champion their lack of morals, their lack of any depth and meaning at all. For a couple of years now Aussie TV hasn't played representative samples of what is poupar in the charts. I usually watch the stuff because it keeps me in touch with what my kdis are listening to (so I can talk to them about it) and, frankly, because I like a lot of it. They also occasionally play classics from my era and I love hearing my kids' reactions to it. Often they like the old stuff too.
    But I learned to really hate a great deal of "gangsta rap" when I realised that the vast bulk of these songs were about how the singer was acquiring outward trappings of wealth ("bling") and a lot of attractive females wearing very little, with their brains apparently checked at the door, wrapped around them. The hints (or sometimes obvious portrayal) of violence underpinning it all really made me angry and sick to the stomach - it was sending a clear message that whatever you want, crime will get it for you. And if what you want is sex as well as money, that is desirable. Promiscuity is good, shallow relationships are to be aimed for, whatever you want you can buy it if you steal enough.
    The day I watched the video clip for a 'song' whose main message was "I have so much money I'm buying diamonds to be made into fake teeth that I wear in my mouth, to show you how wasteful I am" with girls singing, "Show us your grille, daddy" - that was when I felt the genre had hit rock bottom. Unfortunately, it probably can plumb lower depths.
    THAT is what I really consider to be obscene. That, and the message it sends to our girls, that you should let a man treat you like dirt if he has enough diamonds.

    I like the stuff that Pink does. I really liked "Stupid Girls" because it said what I had been trying to say to my kids, but said it in a way that my kids valued and would listen to.

    The moral of the story - if you want to fight a song like "I Kissed a Girl" then use either the same medium, or use ridicule. Remember the days of records? Playing a record at the wrong speed? Get acopy of "I Kissed a Girl" and manipulate it through your computer to play at a slower speed. The singer's voice sounds male, it totally changes the apparent meaning of the song. It also slows it down to dirge level.
    Then play THAT to your kids and watch their reactions.

    Ridicule. Works better than banning anything.

  13. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I agree with you. 100%.
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Susie, I do agree kids....most especially youngs kids, this song isn't really appropriate for.....And I can understand how it's bothering you if you're seeing/hearing it constantly.

    What I have an issue with is those "kid songs" cds. Have you seen the commercials on TV? Kid Bop I think it's called. Now that appalls me. You've got these kids "playing" adults, singing suggestive (at best) adult songs. And evidently whoever publishes this thing believes that just because these songs are sung by kids, they're appropriate for kids. And I think I'd be amazed if parents really bought the thing thinking it innocent. (but obviously some do or else there wouldn't be like a million versions) I believe "I kissed a Girl" is on that CD.....and several others that I couldn't believe too.

    But I Kissed a Girl and a ton of others will never be listen to around the grandkids because they're not appropriate. Which is why there are Wiggles cds in both easy child and Nichole's cars for when we have the kids. And I'm a stick in the mud because my kids weren't even allowed to own a cd/radio boom box until they were about 15 or 16. And I've been known to distroy more than one music cd because I've not like the contents I heard.

    Often I find myself hearing the lyrics to a song and going OMG they let that on the radio?? And just shake my head. Same with tv. And don't even get me started with the music video channels.

    So yeah, I didn't mean to imply I didn't agree with you. I just also happen to like this particular song too. I dunno, maybe it's because it is so tame compared with others and the music is upbeat and sort of cheerful.

  15. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    When my kids are in the car, I usually only have a Christian music station on. If I don't and something comes up that I don't approve of, I turn it on. This particular station does not have innappropriate commercials, which is the greatest thing, because I find a lot of commercials appalling when my kids are around.

    What I find really, deeply disturbing are when there is a kid's movie on a station like TNT and a commercial for Nip/Tuck comes on with grotesque figures and women's necks cut. Missy and I were watching something a few weeks ago and this happened. I was furious. They will also have commercials for Viagra or some other thing that I really don't want to have to explain to an 8 year old.

    I don't care for the song, but I haven't seen it used in a commercial geared toward kids. I was glad my kids were in bed when the singer was on So You Think you Can Dance. I don't think Missy would have understood the connotation, yet. I still haven't explained the birds and the bees, yet. I really don't want to have to explain the other end of the spectrum, too.
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911

    After I left my x - I was in counseling. I told my therapist I was swearing off men forever! She looked at me very candidly and said "So does this mean you are announcing you are gay?"
    I swear I sat and blinked in disbelief for about 45 seconds and then said very matter of factly -

    "No the fact that I'm swearing off men does NOT mean that I'm gay. But unless I can get myself straightened out and stop picking loosers I would probably end up in a lesbian relationship where my wife beat me too."

    With that she stifled herself and said "Moving on."

    And as far as the song? No - I'm not offended by her saying I kissed a girl. GOOD for you honey - you're out. WHOOPIE - more importantly to me is that irregardless of being straight or gay - YOU ARE A CHEATER.

    Cheaters NEVER prosper.

    Maybe old people should make a song for the younger generation called -AGE - you can't avoid this. I had a High colonic and you should teeth in a glass and the corns on my feet.....and now I can't poop.....and my vision is shot - and my glasses are thick but my sex drive is not.......and I'm 90 and gettin' it - all wrinkly too - me and my girlfriend took on a man or two....and just really let them know about the one final frontier that doesn't seem to have made records SELL.
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Star, you crack me up!!! I think that song is an AWESOME idea!!

    Lisa, that Kids Bop series of album is grotesque. To try to get kids to sing these totally inappropriate songs supposedly because it is "fun" is totally NOT fun! My kids have pestered me about this everytime a new ce comes out. I stand strong and do as Nancy Reagan recommended, I "just Say No". I did have luck explaining the meaning behind the lyrics to my son - he was grossed out by the thought of saying those things, esp if females would be around. This is thank you, not Wiz. (Wiz just thinks the kidz bop things are creepy.) Jessie likes the beat, and would still not say no if I brought a cd home.

    What I find bizarre is that my 5yo niece has about 4 of these CDs. her daddy didn't get them for her - he is appalled! her very Christian, fundamentalist believing mommy bought them. And tries to get her to sing even the most explicit lyrics. They have had some rip-roaring fights about this as they have shared custody.
  18. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I kinda find the whole idea of going into the details of what explicit lyrics to songs mean to a child troubling. Most kids like a song because of it's beat, not it's lyrics. Often, they don't even know what the words are.

    Personally, I think it makes it a bigger issue than it would be. My kids listen to these songs and if they have questions, they come to me. My kids know they can talk to me and ask questions and neither are sexually active nor provacative.

    Star's song had sexual innuendos in it, too, by the way.

    And what does being a Christian fundamentalist have to do with anything? So, if I let my children listen to this music, I'm a bad Christian? Or a bad parent?

    Well all parent the way we are comfortable with. But, I'm becoming offended by the tone of this thread.
  19. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm in the "it doesn't bother me" camp. If you're gay, in my opinion you were born that way and it's fine. If you're not, a song isn't going to change your orientation. I've heard lots worse songs. I try to tell my daughter to take the words of songs with a grain of salt, like I did when I was a teen. I sang to the radio with the Beatles when they lauded drugs, but I never did drugs. Same thing in my opinion. Thankfully, my daughter isn't into MTV yet. Although I have no problem with gays (and I mean it) when she sees same sex couples she covers her face and goes "ewwwwwww." You are or you're not. JMO ;)
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2009
  20. Star*

    Star* call 911

    No its very clearly states my glasses are thick but my sex drive is not.

    I was talking about me and my girlfriend racing our walkers to get wrinkley prunes and beating the men to the cafeteria.:tongue:

    oh - i see your point - I said sex drive is not thick -

    I'll revise the words here....(gotta pencil?)

    My glasses are thick by my brain is not......