Steely
Active Member
I can put on the act, I can blend and mold to be the part - but I rarely feel connected to people. In fact shallow and vaporous personalties seem to tap my inner resources, and leave me feeling emotionally and physically drained by the end of the day. I seem to end the day feeling void of true connection even though I work with a lot of people each day.
I keep thinking that if I just reach out, and try and kindle friendships, I will feel better. But I don't. Instead I feel worse. I feel like an outsider trying to fit in - and it is tiring and exhausting. I don't think others notice - only me. I leave social situations feeling empty and taxed even though I might be laughing and playing the part.
I cannot explain it. It is as if I have lived the life of 10 people in my 42 years, and there are few who can relate, or understand that. Consequently I find myself talking about what I feel are meaningless or shallow conversations & for whatever reason, that exhausts me.
I am just wondering if anyone else ever feels this way. I am trying so hard to be different than I used to be, and make friends - and yet I still find that most people bore me. Not everyone, just the majority. Is this just me? Do I need to just accept the reality that I am in the 2% of the world? Do you guys ever feel this way?
I keep thinking that if I just reach out, and try and kindle friendships, I will feel better. But I don't. Instead I feel worse. I feel like an outsider trying to fit in - and it is tiring and exhausting. I don't think others notice - only me. I leave social situations feeling empty and taxed even though I might be laughing and playing the part.
I cannot explain it. It is as if I have lived the life of 10 people in my 42 years, and there are few who can relate, or understand that. Consequently I find myself talking about what I feel are meaningless or shallow conversations & for whatever reason, that exhausts me.
I am just wondering if anyone else ever feels this way. I am trying so hard to be different than I used to be, and make friends - and yet I still find that most people bore me. Not everyone, just the majority. Is this just me? Do I need to just accept the reality that I am in the 2% of the world? Do you guys ever feel this way?