And he's done with school.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by AnnieO, Jun 5, 2017.

  1. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    So, Pat graduated a week ago. Belle and sister in law and niece convinced him to walk, so we all went to the ceremony.

    Unfortunately, he's still not speaking to us, nor is half of husband's family. My parents could not go - Dad had surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago.

    I really hope he can find a path... Right now, he's not moving forward at all.
     
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  2. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Graduating is quite an accomplishment. Like you, I hope he finds a good path to follow.
     
  3. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Congrats on the graduation!

    Does he have any plans for what is next?
     
  4. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Graduation is quite an accomplishment, especially for our difficult children.

    I hope my Difficult Stepson can persist in his schooling until he receives a diploma.

    I am sorry that he has chosen estrangement for the time being. My Difficult Stepson refused to speak to my wife and I for about one year, between the ages of 15-16. He came around this past Easter and things have been much better since then. I hope for something similar in your family.
     
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  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    AppleCori, I have no clue whatsoever. Pat went to "spend a week" with sister in law last summer - late June - and she sort of kept him. He turned 18 in August and, of course, decided he wanted nothing to do with Bill and I.

    His counselor - back then - was very concerned, but unfortunately in this state, a child can refuse treatment at age 15, and at 18 - they're an "adult". Interestingly, as far as the school was concerned, he had to be emancipated from us for us to not send in absence notes, etc. - even though he was not living with us.

    The whole not speaking came about when we had the audacity to insist he help out around the house and find a summer job. He never did find a job... sister in law tried to tell Bill that Pat was doing better, but then we hear from nephew (lives with sister in law too) that THAT is a load of garbage.

    We wouldn't have even known about the graduation if Belle hadn't made sure we knew. Of course sister in law is mad we didn't pay for the cap & gown... But that's another story.
     
  6. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Ah - he's found an enabler. My Difficult Stepson's father is that person in our lives.

    When the child finds an ally who will protect, shield, house, clothe him; not to mention also take his side against us - we are left with limited options. With Difficult Stepson being nearly 17 years old my wife decided not to take the situation to court, although she would have absolutely been within her rights to do so.

    We've learned to accept the situation and enjoy the crumbs he throws to us now and then. We have no real influence in his life and can't be considered parents, because he won't accept our parenting and his father allows him to flip us the bird, even encourages him to do so, for his own sick reasons. Sad to say but that is where things are. The alternative is complete estrangement. I don't care either way honestly but my wife (his bio mom) is much happier having some contact than none at all, even completely on his terms, so I'm glad for that, for her sake.

    These 'my way or the highway' type kids will just have to learn the hard way. Too bad they manage to find rescuers - seems to be a talent many of them possess.

    All the best to you and your family.